Each purpose, each mission, is meant to be fully lived to the point where it becomes empty, boring, useless. Then it should be discarded. This is a sign of growth, but you may mistake it for a sign of failure.
I am not going to post any stuff on routines or regular material that can be easily researched. Any aspiring PUA wannabe can learn tons and tons of routines...as you may know...they are just training wheels..to lead you to the door of calibration. I want you guys to ponder over those words above..for those who get it...a small little sentence could well become a spark plug for your evolution.
Many guys will often encounter a phase in their journey towards getting successful with women. And this phrase, whether you acknowledge or not...it gonna look you in the eye..one fine day..when you least expects..and tell you.."Hey, you are getting tired ..and you have been approaching so much..yes..you may have some mediocre successes..some number closes...and you're now able to open sets easily and carry off an interesting conversation..so, what now? It's so freaking boring and you know it..to keep doing it again and again...It's useless.." And when you start to feel this sense of emptiness and boredom in you..you say to yourself..."This journey is tough as shit...I wouldn't be like the best guys... and all i can do is number close..and then expect flakes from the women. I'm useless...maybe I should do something else." Man, guys...now go back up and look at that phrase again.....do you see it? It's telling you...you've basted through you limits.. it time to move on...learn something new...add some new values to your life...I'm gonna tell you to be really selfish here....DO IMPROVE YOURSELF NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS. FUCK EVERYTHING THAT STOPS YOU. LEARN THE WAY OF ACCEPTING WHAT IS..AND LEARN TO SURRENDER TO THE CURRENT MOMENT...(i know it tough, but you have to do it. YOU HAVE TO BE A MAN ABOUT THIS ) AND GIVE LOVE TO THE PEOPLE WHO CROSSES PATH IN YOUR LIFE GENEROUSLY. There will be a time when you will be dealing with emotions face on. You will look emotions in the eye...and you will feel terrible....it is ok... it is ok to feel this way...it is ok to feel afc at times..but..what differate a man from a wimp.. " A real man feel terrible over a specific situation.. and he feel emotional about it...he feel afc-ish but he is able to identify this dysfunction..and start being aware of it..and fight it back..to break out of all this mind fuck he is giving himself and stand up again. He knows that when he do that..he is another level closer to his superiority. A wimp, feel terrible and drowns his sorrow in tears...constantly telling himself how painfully it feels and fails to identify the dysfunction...and carry on being a wimp. You do not need to be a superhero, you do need to cordon off all your fears and afc feeling away from you ....be aware that it is normal...but do stand up again...that's how you bust through plateaus.
Showing posts with label Women. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Women. Show all posts
Friday, September 24, 2010
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
Building A Life.
Have you ever wondered how some people have really awesome life, and some just do the same old boring thing day after day...until they get old? It doesn't take a fool to know that you have totally control over your own life. And it doesn't take a fool to know that the results you get are determined by your responses. As a matter of fact, view your life as a movie. You are the actor of the movie. If you are make it past 70 years old , you are basically living only 28,000 days at max. You have to do something about it. One life one chance and this your chance to decide how you would want to live your live.
Do not get me wrong here, I'm not telling you to go hit somebody or even kill someone. You might be damn kidding right? Start doing the things you really wanted to do, but have always held you back due to the excuses you have given yourself like " I don't have the time". " What would others think of me". " My parents won't allow" ect. The more excuses you have, the more fear you have and only return to "NOTHING".
One of the things life boils down to are SURVIVE and REPLICATE. You obviously do not survive, unless you are a immortal. Which of course is not possible. What you can do, is to survive tough and rocky life situations. There are no problems in life. Only situations. And how we deal with situations reflects directly on how it will turn out. A rule of the alpha, BE UNREACTIVE. Simply means, be unaffected by external factors. It's tough to do, but yes it can happen. If you practice, if you are conscious enough. Be present and in the moment. If somethings terrible happens, you do not fall into the unconsciousness and allow your emotions to control you. You simply acknowledge the presence of the situation and know it there. It doesn't affect affect you on a deep level. I'm not telling you to be emotionless. It about controlling your emotions. If you let it run wild, you start falling into an irrational state of mind, and you're like a crazy bull running around the place, not towards a red cloth, but a black one. Start taking charge of your emotions, when you are able to do that, you will and i promise...be able to feel so much in control.
Replication, of course comes in when you start building families. I'm not gonna touch on this too much. if you cannot even survive, how would you replicate? Start building a life. Join a dance class, go take up martial arts classes, go do some water sports, go travelling...talk to strangers...make new friends. If you can start doing this right now, you will start to feel that time is limited. And you will start to realise the importance of every being in the world. You have to be happy with what you do. What I'm revealling here isn't rocket science, but basic logic. BASIC IS GOLD. talk about stories of value , you will have millions of them without even thinking of them, or trying to come out with one. Because you have such a awesome life. Start now and live the life you want to live.
Do not get me wrong here, I'm not telling you to go hit somebody or even kill someone. You might be damn kidding right? Start doing the things you really wanted to do, but have always held you back due to the excuses you have given yourself like " I don't have the time". " What would others think of me". " My parents won't allow" ect. The more excuses you have, the more fear you have and only return to "NOTHING".
One of the things life boils down to are SURVIVE and REPLICATE. You obviously do not survive, unless you are a immortal. Which of course is not possible. What you can do, is to survive tough and rocky life situations. There are no problems in life. Only situations. And how we deal with situations reflects directly on how it will turn out. A rule of the alpha, BE UNREACTIVE. Simply means, be unaffected by external factors. It's tough to do, but yes it can happen. If you practice, if you are conscious enough. Be present and in the moment. If somethings terrible happens, you do not fall into the unconsciousness and allow your emotions to control you. You simply acknowledge the presence of the situation and know it there. It doesn't affect affect you on a deep level. I'm not telling you to be emotionless. It about controlling your emotions. If you let it run wild, you start falling into an irrational state of mind, and you're like a crazy bull running around the place, not towards a red cloth, but a black one. Start taking charge of your emotions, when you are able to do that, you will and i promise...be able to feel so much in control.
Replication, of course comes in when you start building families. I'm not gonna touch on this too much. if you cannot even survive, how would you replicate? Start building a life. Join a dance class, go take up martial arts classes, go do some water sports, go travelling...talk to strangers...make new friends. If you can start doing this right now, you will start to feel that time is limited. And you will start to realise the importance of every being in the world. You have to be happy with what you do. What I'm revealling here isn't rocket science, but basic logic. BASIC IS GOLD. talk about stories of value , you will have millions of them without even thinking of them, or trying to come out with one. Because you have such a awesome life. Start now and live the life you want to live.
Saturday, September 11, 2010
How Do I Start A Conversation?
Yes, the number one question for all the guys that is just starting out.
The moment you think about how to open (start a conversation), the women SMELLS it. The moment you look in their direction like you're churning your brain juices thinking of how to open, they SMELLS it. The moment you ASK the mentor/PUA/Instructor beside you how to open, they SMELLS it.
A lot of guys starting out put way too much thought into an opener, An opener is not meant to attract, it is not meant to seduce, it is not meant to build value ( although i usually have value via, pre-selection, body language and tonality).
It is used, to open. It doesn't and shouldn't last more than a minute.
More often than not , the opener DOES NOT MATTER. It is how your handle the responses.
I do not go " OMG WHAT A HOT GIRL HOW DO I OPEN". I go " Hi guys , do you happen to know what is an angina?
It could also be as simple as "Hi, how are you" or as cheeky as "Hey you are kinda cute but I'm cuter."
The point is , stop thinking about how to open. OPEN FOR GOD'S SAKE. Women move, they are human, they might wanna dance, they might wanna leave, they might even get picked up by a PUA who doesn't waste 15 minute thinking about opening and getting rejected in the process. He just be in moment and have a great time.
If you really, really need help, open another women. Open the girls right beside you, right beside them, whatever. Take note though, this can, and will waste 15 minute of the time where you got could've been building major rapport and attraction with your target.
The moment you think about how to open (start a conversation), the women SMELLS it. The moment you look in their direction like you're churning your brain juices thinking of how to open, they SMELLS it. The moment you ASK the mentor/PUA/Instructor beside you how to open, they SMELLS it.
A lot of guys starting out put way too much thought into an opener, An opener is not meant to attract, it is not meant to seduce, it is not meant to build value ( although i usually have value via, pre-selection, body language and tonality).
It is used, to open. It doesn't and shouldn't last more than a minute.
More often than not , the opener DOES NOT MATTER. It is how your handle the responses.
I do not go " OMG WHAT A HOT GIRL HOW DO I OPEN". I go " Hi guys , do you happen to know what is an angina?
It could also be as simple as "Hi, how are you" or as cheeky as "Hey you are kinda cute but I'm cuter."
The point is , stop thinking about how to open. OPEN FOR GOD'S SAKE. Women move, they are human, they might wanna dance, they might wanna leave, they might even get picked up by a PUA who doesn't waste 15 minute thinking about opening and getting rejected in the process. He just be in moment and have a great time.
If you really, really need help, open another women. Open the girls right beside you, right beside them, whatever. Take note though, this can, and will waste 15 minute of the time where you got could've been building major rapport and attraction with your target.
Thursday, August 26, 2010
Process Over Outcome, Do you really understand?
Well, So much has been said about process over outcome. It seems like another philosophy that is being passed down from old age sages, and further pre-packaged into new found enlightenment and thus being passed down again to individuals. However, how does all this intertwine with one another? It is all so easy to just go on and reiterate this powerful belief, hoping that it would skyrocket a person's progress towards succeeding with women in Singapore. Well, not exactly.
Am i messing with your head now?
Most people would go, "I don't get what you mean. How do you enjoy the process when you know the outcome might be an ugly one?" There's a lot of unwiring that needs to be done. And attempting to understand without experiencing is a definite no-brainer.
Enjoying the process, in this case communicating with the opposite sex is directly proportionate to your inner purpose. Your primary purpose is not concrete enough, you cannot enjoy the process. With a lot of guys out there who hit the clubs and the streets, i would say that they think their primary purpose is to polish their skills. I'm generalising here, so do bear with me. It is alright and nothing wrong. It probably is a social conditioning in the "PUA" kingdom". And most times, social conditioning creeps into you without you even knowing, If you are truly enjoying the process, you would not feel an inch of incongruency. Think aobut it. If in any case you feel incongruent in the field, uncomfy...or whatever...it is not your skills, or what you did, or what you said. It is your purpose. YOU GOT IT ALL MESS UP.
This is what most guys do:
Primary purpose ----> Polish up skillset
Secondary purpose ----> Enjoying a genuine interaction/making new friends
I'm not saying this is what you should do, or "do not". It's basically my interpretation of this issues. Beliefs change they are never a constant. If they were a constant, evolution probably can never take place. The face that the primary purpose of most guys is to polish their skills, creates a gaping hole in them which allows critisisms to take place. Criticisms can be rejections etc. And not many guys can learn from it the smart way.
Enjoying the process simply means enjoying the process. Nothing else. In order to do that, your attention and purpose has to be ONE. Your primary purpose allows your full attention to flow into your doing...and your secondary purpose is whatever you want to achieve through the doing. Which obviously is the outcome.
This is what i do:
Primary purose ----> Enjoying a genuine interaction/making new friends
Secondary Purpose ----> Polish up skill set
When you take a step, it is your primary purpose. And the destination is your secondary purpose. In many cases, me being guilty of it in the past, i was not really enjoying my interactions with people in the clubs and on the streets. I was desperately sourcing out for indicators of interest and what not. So i could further calibrate myself what a dumb ass i am and it does not mean you neglect what needs to be done on a practical level. It does not mean ignorance. In fact, the doing and process becomes much easier, when the dimensions of attention is acknowledges and so becomes primary . Quality requires attention. Sometimes when I'm whacked, i get shitty results in field. And its great that i have the ability to identify the dysfunction in me at that moment and immediately rectify the whole interaction. Every time was genuine. Nothing was memorized. And often guys asked "what did you say?" "How many indicator of interest did she give?". My answer I DON'T KNOW. It was fun. That's it. I figured a long time ago, that there are probably two ways for me to evolve my game.
1) Be an ass about dynamics, break it down like a robot and get good results, but in me i feel nauseous and burn out.
2) Follow my senses, purpose and enjoy the freaking process of getting to know another human being, sacrificing a little percentage of success rates. But feel congruent and genuine deep down. And even if the approach did not work out, it doesn't affect me.
I chose the second one. It was touch choice. The mental masturbation was terrible. But i recognise a fact. I am human.
Enjoying the processes, over destinations. After all aren't we all searching for that one thing? Happiness? Physical relationships are simply awesome by products of great interaction. It is not an end. By realizing that your entire life journey consists of the step you are taking at this moment. There is only this one step and so you will give your fullest attention to it. This doesn't mean you don't know where you are going. It just means this step is primary, the destination is secondary. What you encounter at your destination once you get there depends on the quality of this one step.
Am i messing with your head now?
Most people would go, "I don't get what you mean. How do you enjoy the process when you know the outcome might be an ugly one?" There's a lot of unwiring that needs to be done. And attempting to understand without experiencing is a definite no-brainer.
Enjoying the process, in this case communicating with the opposite sex is directly proportionate to your inner purpose. Your primary purpose is not concrete enough, you cannot enjoy the process. With a lot of guys out there who hit the clubs and the streets, i would say that they think their primary purpose is to polish their skills. I'm generalising here, so do bear with me. It is alright and nothing wrong. It probably is a social conditioning in the "PUA" kingdom". And most times, social conditioning creeps into you without you even knowing, If you are truly enjoying the process, you would not feel an inch of incongruency. Think aobut it. If in any case you feel incongruent in the field, uncomfy...or whatever...it is not your skills, or what you did, or what you said. It is your purpose. YOU GOT IT ALL MESS UP.
This is what most guys do:
Primary purpose ----> Polish up skillset
Secondary purpose ----> Enjoying a genuine interaction/making new friends
I'm not saying this is what you should do, or "do not". It's basically my interpretation of this issues. Beliefs change they are never a constant. If they were a constant, evolution probably can never take place. The face that the primary purpose of most guys is to polish their skills, creates a gaping hole in them which allows critisisms to take place. Criticisms can be rejections etc. And not many guys can learn from it the smart way.
Enjoying the process simply means enjoying the process. Nothing else. In order to do that, your attention and purpose has to be ONE. Your primary purpose allows your full attention to flow into your doing...and your secondary purpose is whatever you want to achieve through the doing. Which obviously is the outcome.
This is what i do:
Primary purose ----> Enjoying a genuine interaction/making new friends
Secondary Purpose ----> Polish up skill set
When you take a step, it is your primary purpose. And the destination is your secondary purpose. In many cases, me being guilty of it in the past, i was not really enjoying my interactions with people in the clubs and on the streets. I was desperately sourcing out for indicators of interest and what not. So i could further calibrate myself what a dumb ass i am and it does not mean you neglect what needs to be done on a practical level. It does not mean ignorance. In fact, the doing and process becomes much easier, when the dimensions of attention is acknowledges and so becomes primary . Quality requires attention. Sometimes when I'm whacked, i get shitty results in field. And its great that i have the ability to identify the dysfunction in me at that moment and immediately rectify the whole interaction. Every time was genuine. Nothing was memorized. And often guys asked "what did you say?" "How many indicator of interest did she give?". My answer I DON'T KNOW. It was fun. That's it. I figured a long time ago, that there are probably two ways for me to evolve my game.
1) Be an ass about dynamics, break it down like a robot and get good results, but in me i feel nauseous and burn out.
2) Follow my senses, purpose and enjoy the freaking process of getting to know another human being, sacrificing a little percentage of success rates. But feel congruent and genuine deep down. And even if the approach did not work out, it doesn't affect me.
I chose the second one. It was touch choice. The mental masturbation was terrible. But i recognise a fact. I am human.
Enjoying the processes, over destinations. After all aren't we all searching for that one thing? Happiness? Physical relationships are simply awesome by products of great interaction. It is not an end. By realizing that your entire life journey consists of the step you are taking at this moment. There is only this one step and so you will give your fullest attention to it. This doesn't mean you don't know where you are going. It just means this step is primary, the destination is secondary. What you encounter at your destination once you get there depends on the quality of this one step.
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