The Power Of Attraction.

Have you ever felt exhausted, burnt out from all these attraction stuff that you've read, learn, or even consciously act out?

You are not alone.It isn't new anymore. Every successfully transformed Singapore alpha male will tell you the same old theory.

Sometimes less is more.

Moving on is something, but understanding why you should and why it is the ultimate truth is another. If it isn't already clear to you, the reason people pick up new skills is directly proportionate to their motive which drives their purpose. Individual purpose takes time to discover. Nobody can tell you what you should be responsible in your life. It is the universal truth that we all have to tread this journey ourselves. Often times, it is the question that makes the cut, not the answer.

And the human ego is sly as it is, often times slipping in from the back of the mind without you consciously knowing. " The world is your mirror " - a common quote you hear all the time. Your comments and criticisms are simply a reflection of your perception of yourself.

That of which you resent, you lack.

The ultimate truth is often misunderstood, or even misrepresented.In this time and age when freedom of speech is widely practiced, we begin to doubt our own values, and beliefs. Oftentimes, unconsciously taking on values from an external source, in which the values came from another external source. It is a never ending cycle that serves to only make the unconscious more unconscious, and the conscious more conscious.

Well, just like how the rich gets richer and the poor gets poorer.

When will it stop?

The invisible force is constantly working its magic, all with the majority of our human population
being unaware. What invisible force you may ask? Go read "The secret", and you shall have a better understanding of what i'm saying. It's weird whenever you talk to someone about this "invisible force", and they give you that weirded out stare, given the fact that the "weirdo" is well aware of the presence of other invisible forces like x-rays and gamma rays. I don't know. It seems like the human ego is trying to resist allowing the truth to set in.

Running away serves as a temporary relieve of pain.

Matter of fact, most of us are constantly living our lives through force, instead of power.

Just like how you would conduct a textbook style pickup. If you come down to the bare minimum, you are simply acting through force. Pushing your values and wants onto another person. Yes, you may have some initial successes, but it is just temporary. Understand that a force will return an opposing force. A force moves something from here to there, and it's limited by definition. A force requires constant stimuli. And yes, you may not be able to handle the returning force..you never know. And yes, it is obviously coming from a point of artificial stimuli.

On the other hand, you would do so much better if you are coming from a point of power. By definition, power is still, stable and it requires no external stimuli. An example, gravity. Power affects the things around it, it generates energy in itself.

Why wouldn't we want to look at attraction in this perspective instead?

Wouldn it be much more beneficial to the degenerating human condition?

True and unbelievable at first, there really is a rotating vortice in every one of us. We are all human generators. And how do we kick start this generator? We need to learn how to be compassionate. We need to learn how to not judge, how to act from power and purpose, instead of lack and fear.

One can then truly grasps the meaning of "unreactiveness" when one is being exposed to this ultimate truth. As i always like to reiterate, we come to this world with nothing, and we shall leave with nothing. It simply is a myriad of experiences that we truly have, throughout our time on earth. And knowing this ultimate yet simply truth, shouldn't we all do all we can to enhance our life experiences? It is true that what is good for you will be good for me. Disregarding context. Eg: Vitamin C is good for you, and it will be for me. Laughter is good for you, and it will be for me. For all good that you return to the society, it affects the others, and in turn affects the others again.

When equipped with the true essence of power, one can feel unwavered. Needless to say passing congruence tests. And by basing all interactions into a feedback loop which ends up in you asking yourself if it is beneficial to your emotional wellbeing, and aligning it to your true purpose and priority in your life..you get to see the "bigger picture".

Girl : hey, that shirt looks weird on you!
You : Thanks, that's one of the worse compliments i've gotten. you are so cute, you dun really
give compliments eh? Let me buy you some chocolates! (You disregard her comments, cos you know it isn't congruent. And she is coming from a point of "force", to get to you return an opposing force (react). and you don't, instead you became real weirdly friendly..and it doesnt make sense. (you arent always able to handle the opposing force which comes your way).

The point isn't about the
exact words you use, but the idea and motive behind those words.

Think about it,

With love,
Gate

Why most Singaporean men do not smile.

This post is gonna be a really short one. But it identifies the main screw up
most Singapore guys have, and will always have if they have no friggin consciousness to
know what they are doing wrong.

SMILE

Too many technical analysis in your head, and you find yourself not smiling. And even if you're smiling, it looks fake and weak.

Given the many crazy adventures we have had during our night out with clients, this has been proven many a time to be TRUE.

The successful ones smile a lot. I mean hey, let's get down to the basic fundamentals man. No amount of theoretical knowledge is gonna help you if you ain't know how to smile nicely.

Just how potent can a smile be, with regards to adding any value to the whole interaction with women?

You lead, they follow. It's an unconscious thing man. Picture yourself talking to
someone with screwed up energy level, restless and shits. Man, i'm sure you'll
feel screwed up as well. Like, "yucks...wtf is this? I need to get away ..fast!"
It's the same for smiling man. You smile, you're happy, and soon enough she'll
be smiling too. I can't guarantee that she's gonna respond immediately...that
really depends on whether you're as cute as me. ROFL. I'm attached. So ..yea. =)

It really depends on your delivery and bodylanguage though. Lead the
emotions, and she will feel it, and in turn follow.

And of course, you smile with limits. You don't start smiling like a weirdo. A casual non threatening, chill, have fun kinda smile. And in the event that you do meet any uptight women who probably might threaten to rip your manly balls of you when you smile at them, walk away. It happens. Give them the benefit of the doubt. They probably ahd a bad bad day. Smile at other people who looks less threatening. Strike up a conversation. "Hey, i saw you and i thought you look friendly. My name is.." You get the drift. Have some value in who you approach and talk to. And in turn, you'll realise you're building a very respectful bunch of friends.

SMILE SMILE SMILE.

Experiment with it.

Truth is, many people don't smile.

What If?

What if she reject me?
What if she doesn't respond?
What if she say fuck off?
What if she slap me?
What if her friends drag her away?
What if she have a boyfriend?
What if she's lesbian?

Sounds familiar? Yes, the above thoughts, not exhaustive by any means, is what is usually going through guys when they are approaching women in Singapore. The fear of the approach and is known as approach anxiety.

Approach Anxiety.

Did the above 2 words just freak you out? If it did, don't worry, it normal.

Everyone get approach anxiety. EVERY LIVING BREATHING HUMAN. GIRLS INCLUDED

See, even guys who are successful with women get approach anxiety.

Whats the difference between the guy who is successful and the guys who not?

A guy who not successful with women let approach anxiety overcome him and stay in his little corner in a club, do nothing all night, and feel like shit.

A ladies men can think to himself "Fuck this shit, I'm going in". and get rejected, and subsequently get the number of the next 5 approaches he open.

Think about it.

Approach without thinking and the Alpha Male.

One of the things why guys in Singapore fail to be successful with women is they think too much sometime. They plan, go out, approach women, sit down, breakdown the approach they did, then? Well, sad to say, I am guilty of that too. I've been through that phrase and at time it still happen, but I've since hone the ability to detect any signs of this bad habit popping up and have learn and still is learning how to control it. It is scary how the human mind can screw you up so badly, even before any action is taken. "Oh , she's gonna be a bitch, and shoot me down, and I'm gonna feel so terrible and embarrassed, and then people around me will notice and start gossiping, I can't do this...no!" I've been there in fact countless of time...so I can feel you. The fact is...you will meet people like that...and the solution is, not to take it personally. She might had a pretty bad day at work...or might just be another low self esteem girl.

Be social! This is NOT the 'evil art of seduction', you are going out in the field to have fun, be yourself, hang out and add value to the people around you. Whether you bang a girl or get a number is secondary. If it happen, it happen but it WILL NOT affect your state of being. You still gonna enjoy yourself even if you don't get laid. But if you are going out purely to get numbers or get laid, Women will detect that attitude from a mile away and it's an instant turn off.

I hate to hang out with guys who can't stop it. "Hey, there's 3 girls..open! Sarge!" "Why didn't you approach?" "What time are we going to start sarging, and until what time?" DUDE, WAKE UP. Just freaking hang out and have fun. When you reiterate stuff like that, you are killing yourself. Approach anxiety starts flowing like water. You now have the skills...use it to interact with people. If you've done it smoothly...the number will come. Process over outcome. You will never get blown out. You are just a friendly guy, talking to people and if uptight people shut you off...they are socially retarded. Why give meaning to blow outs like that?

When learning this skill set, many will try to be what they call the alpha. But guess what? Many do not know what a true alpha really is. True alpha males are rare. True alpha males are perhaps those 5 percent of male in the club with girls around them all the time. Alpha males give without expecting anything in return, they are just plain 'cool', they don't go around buying girls drinks or beg for their phone number. Alpha males create comfortable vibes, they create a warm happy playpen for the women to wander around in. Alpha male don't supplicate, but they treat women as equals and get the same in return. Women will compete for those men, women will work for these men. They are emotionally wired to do so. They will even leave their boyfriend just to hang out with them. They will dump him or hide him or do whatever it takes to align with the alpha male. Aren't they horrible evil sluts for doing so? The answer is NO. Look...they don't have a choice, women are programmed to align with alpha males just like men are programmed to sleep with women. Women love the true alpha males and want to be 'Pick Up'. If you pull this off right, then literally every women you approach will love your presence and your energy. They feel honored to be hanging out with you. The direction of your interaction is up to you and her. It will take some time for you to cease being surprised when you find women want far different things than what you formerly thought they wanted. Remember, that most women are with beta men because that is all they can get. If you are an alpha male who won't deceive her about your intentions then you are doing her a huge favor by introducing yourself into her life. All of the women I date know that I see other women and they don't mind because they would still rather be with me than pretending to be happy with some beta boyfriend.

Sign up for our courses right now and learn what it take to be a true alpha male. For more information check out website www.datingskilset.com


With love,
Gate

Presence, the secret attraction tool.

Everyone looks the same. Everyone acts the same. Even if you are dress really well, you still look the same...which of course varies to the individual 3rd party view. How do you differentiate yourself? I do not advocate teaching people powerful routines to carry off a complete pick up. Develop your personality first, then add in those routines. Take it right here, if you are a empty vessel, routines are just gonna be useless. Yes, you can be completely flawless by throwing routines after rountines..great..if that's what you are doing..then I'm happy for you. However, I know...that deep down...deep down when you are alone, in your room...you mind starts running. Just like the same old feelings that hurts so much, that pierce your heart, that breathless moment...that point of time during your childhood that you felt your parents love your sibling more then they love you. Nothing helps. More routines can never take the permanent scar away. You have to love yourself. Accept the presence given to you. You, like me is going to start from scratch, spend time and effort building the life you, like me love. You, like me enjoy.

Be it wherever you are, your presence is the strongest being in the world. You presence is what creates your reality. Presence is directly proportionate to consciousness, and consciousness is directly proportionate to forming your own world, which is also directly proportionate to forming the bubble around you that protects you from the shit test by the cougars out there. The fact that they are all interlink, only proves that in whatever you do, you have to start from scratch and start with the root. Think about it...we'll talk soon when I'm back from my trip to Taiwan.

Your Friend,
Gate

The Angina Opener!

Here a conversation piece you guys can use to start a conversation with the girls. It called the Angina opener.

Me: Hey guys, help me out here. I'm supposedly the best in English amongst my friends.
Girls:Uh....
Me: What an angina?

That's all

It piques their curiosity and there are endless opportunities for playful teasing when they answer. Due to the nature of how it is pronounce and spell but in actual fact angina is a severe chest pain. Most girls will tend to associate it with some sort of a dirty meaning to the word and that is when you tease them.

Loving Women. An Artform

You probably have encounter them. You probably have had your balls shattered by them. You probably feared them. Or you may be the lucky one, to love them and be loved by them in return.

Seriously...girls are humans after all. Besides the fact that most of them have been brainwashed by agony gurus...they are loving creatures. Before I even continue...

First things first: Never take things personally.

Girls are beautiful creatures beaming with emotional energy. They are cute. They make your life pretty and bouncy. Picture barney and the purple dinosaur. Yes...this is the exactly feeling that you should get when you interact with a girl. Appreciate their emotional ups and downs, accept the fact that they are who they are. And what they are, EMOTIONAL creatures. Don't ever try to change them. Without them, you are never alive. Love them with all you can.

With so much talk about loving them. How do we actually go about doing it? You might be experienced uptight girls, suspicious ones who go: "get a better pickup line!" When you genuinely want directions to the nearest gents...you might even have experience with fickle minded ones who go: "I feel so confused, I think I am just not ready for you love", when you shower her with all the affection she said she wanted Confused ? Don't be.

Accept the way things are. Matter of fact, men and women are build differently. Women can never understand men, and men can never understand women...unless they both decide to take on the journey of learning about the opposite sex, and dwell deeply into evolution psychology. Women don't want what they say they want. You have to be able to the codes. When i talk about love, I am not talking about obsession, needing , or even an outcome. Loving girls is non-judgemental and patient. It's about appreciation of her famine being, and whatever she feels like being right now. Whatever her mood is. Look at women for who they really are. Symphatise on a deep level with what they have to go through. Understand that they have to deal with wild and random emotions and mood swings, and they can't just trust any guy that comes up to them. Appreciate their imperfection and funny antics. When they sit down with you and spit out random illogical stuff stuffs, listen to them...understand that it is part of their emotional circuitry.

Women are fun people. Tickle them. Play with them. Go crazy. Nobody says you have to be all so serious faced with them...and talk serious subjects. After all, life is a fun process.

For guys out there...to sum it all, girls want a men who is able to lead and live life with purpose.

The next time you decide to get all upset and affected when faced with shit that girls throw at you...don't be. The only person who has the power to affect your emotions is YOU. The next time you decide to get involved in an argument with a women, STOP. You can never win.

We at datingskillset have always taken on the mindset that girls are awesome. You should too! They are lovely people with a myriad of emotions. Even to the point where we happen to meet an unstable and uptight one...who do not hesitate to "castrate" us mentally and emotionally...we just shrug it off. Never will you become overly protective of yourself, become violent or verbally aggressive. I have seen tons of guys acting this way. Sadly...some were grown adults. We man, have a part to play in every interaction with girls. It is obviously a balance of the sex. It is what I call value ping.

Always be friendly. Uptight people will lead an uptight life. Well, if you find this post intriguing...yes, thanks...after all, men like us are rare.

A Sneak Peek On Our Dating Courses!

Here's a sneak peek into exactly what kind of stuff we talk about in our Approach Courses ( The Day Approach & Night Approach).

What exactly is attractive to women? what is it about certain man that makes them so irresistible to women? Have you ever had a friend who walks into a party, socializes with everyone, and then later you hear " oh my god he's so charming, he's so attractive, he's so funny".

It all boils down to one thing communication. It all about how you package your values, ideals, qualities, and communicate it across to others. If your values, ideals are strong enough, they will want it. It's a lot like sales, but nothing like sales. You do not want to appear like you're trying when you are. You do not want to appear like you want their attention when you do.

Make sense? It shouldn't. What you are about to learn is the answer to everything here that i just posed. Be prepared for change. HUGE changes. You will get some of your beliefs shattered, and make damn sure you will be taken aback by some of the radical ideals that are directly against the societal norm.

You are not here for a quick fix solutions. You are not here to look for some simple solution to problems you have faced all your life. You are not here, for only learning how to pick up women. You are here for learning how to build a new life. A new way of leading life. A new way of getting your thoughts across and having them accepted.

PS: Do Check our website www.modernman.sg for more information on the Approach Courses.

A New You.

Get Ready.

Directionless.

I recently had a conversation with a chump friend who approached me for dating advice. After giving him the crash course, i got this.

"aite... aiyah...if it happens it happens... I not that gian for a relationship now."

THAT, is completely retarded.

Having directions in life is so crucial, no would get anywhere with out it. The process is the juice, we all know it, but we at least have to know what are the results.

Emphasizing it too much or too little is another question all together.

If you do not know what you want to achieve at work, you'll will never achieve anything.
If you do not know what you want out of school, you'll will leave school with nothing.
If you do not know where you want to be as a human, you're as good as dead.
If you 're gonna leave it to chance, you chance will never come.

Luck is achieved by those who create and actively seek out opportunities for LUCK to be present.

A directionless person is even worse than the chumps at a club's dance floor hoping to get lucky. At least the chumps are doing something, albeit doing it the wrong way.

Before anyone wants to take on the journey of learning the arts, think this is hard and think it through. Do you have what it takes?

We all do as a matter of fact , but how far are you willing to go to get your desired results?

How much efforts are you going to put in? Are you going to be another one of those who only wants to read about others males, other SUPERIORS MALES, knowing damn well that it is achievable, but NOT DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT?

If you belong to the category of people I just mentioned. I have two golden words for you.

FUCK

OFF

But if you want to sincerely change, like some of the clients I've have an immense amount of pleasure working with , approach us by all means.

I will help you to be successful with the girls, if you're willing to be helped.

I can only give you the tools and guidance necessary, we can't force you to do it at gunpoint.

Not that I'd waste the time doing that, really.

Growth.

Each purpose, each mission, is meant to be fully lived to the point where it becomes empty, boring, useless. Then it should be discarded. This is a sign of growth, but you may mistake it for a sign of failure.

I am not going to post any stuff on routines or regular material that can be easily researched. Any aspiring PUA wannabe can learn tons and tons of routines...as you may know...they are just training wheels..to lead you to the door of calibration. I want you guys to ponder over those words above..for those who get it...a small little sentence could well become a spark plug for your evolution.

Many guys will often encounter a phase in their journey towards getting successful with women. And this phrase, whether you acknowledge or not...it gonna look you in the eye..one fine day..when you least expects..and tell you.."Hey, you are getting tired ..and you have been approaching so much..yes..you may have some mediocre successes..some number closes...and you're now able to open sets easily and carry off an interesting conversation..so, what now? It's so freaking boring and you know it..to keep doing it again and again...It's useless.." And when you start to feel this sense of emptiness and boredom in you..you say to yourself..."This journey is tough as shit...I wouldn't be like the best guys... and all i can do is number close..and then expect flakes from the women. I'm useless...maybe I should do something else." Man, guys...now go back up and look at that phrase again.....do you see it? It's telling you...you've basted through you limits.. it time to move on...learn something new...add some new values to your life...I'm gonna tell you to be really selfish here....DO IMPROVE YOURSELF NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS. FUCK EVERYTHING THAT STOPS YOU. LEARN THE WAY OF ACCEPTING WHAT IS..AND LEARN TO SURRENDER TO THE CURRENT MOMENT...(i know it tough, but you have to do it. YOU HAVE TO BE A MAN ABOUT THIS ) AND GIVE LOVE TO THE PEOPLE WHO CROSSES PATH IN YOUR LIFE GENEROUSLY. There will be a time when you will be dealing with emotions face on. You will look emotions in the eye...and you will feel terrible....it is ok... it is ok to feel this way...it is ok to feel afc at times..but..what differate a man from a wimp.. " A real man feel terrible over a specific situation.. and he feel emotional about it...he feel afc-ish but he is able to identify this dysfunction..and start being aware of it..and fight it back..to break out of all this mind fuck he is giving himself and stand up again. He knows that when he do that..he is another level closer to his superiority. A wimp, feel terrible and drowns his sorrow in tears...constantly telling himself how painfully it feels and fails to identify the dysfunction...and carry on being a wimp. You do not need to be a superhero, you do need to cordon off all your fears and afc feeling away from you ....be aware that it is normal...but do stand up again...that's how you bust through plateaus.

How Do I Find The Energy To Approach?

Yeah, it's one the biggest problems guys are facing. We are have a life, we all have a day job, we all have to WORK (or study).

Lots of people would go " how am I am supposed to approach and meet new people when I've just work 8 hours?" or the likes.

Well, how do we go about getting that energy and positive vibe back after a gruelling 8 hours of enduring irritating colleagues, over demanding bosses, and down right retarded customers?

My answer to this: You don't. Quoted from an awesome PUA whose name I don't remember ( sorry bro, lol. Let me know if you see this, I'll credit you),

"Pickup doesn't start the moment you enter the club, It's start the moment you open your eyes."
You want to feel good all the time and not just when you are approaching women but on a daily basis. Get that postive energy and vibe everyday!

Here a simple exercise you can do to make yourself feel better. Here how it done.

The moment you wake up , close your eyes and clear your thoughts.
Keep telling yourself: I'm positive, full of life, fun and interesting.
Now picture that sentence in you, in the middle of you.
Once you feel the vibe, locate it's centre, it's gonna be right in the middle of the words.
Imagine the words expanding , filling your insides, filling your whole body.
See the words in you, feel the vibe in you, feel it expanding , feel it taking over and influencing every little micro-organism in you.
Now that it's at it peak, imagine it EXPLODING. Like BAM!

Open your eyes and you'll feel like you've clinched a million dollar deal, bang a hot chick, and in the process got a promotion to the position your most hated boss used to hold on to.

If you do this everyday, you'll begin the day in an extremely positive manner. Talk to everyone, be nice to them, say hi to your neighbours in the lift, say hi to that poor ugly colleague whom nobody talk to.

You rule, it's your world.

Take it over.

Building A Life.

Have you ever wondered how some people have really awesome life, and some just do the same old boring thing day after day...until they get old? It doesn't take a fool to know that you have totally control over your own life. And it doesn't take a fool to know that the results you get are determined by your responses. As a matter of fact, view your life as a movie. You are the actor of the movie. If you are make it past 70 years old , you are basically living only 28,000 days at max. You have to do something about it. One life one chance and this your chance to decide how you would want to live your live.

Do not get me wrong here, I'm not telling you to go hit somebody or even kill someone. You might be damn kidding right? Start doing the things you really wanted to do, but have always held you back due to the excuses you have given yourself like " I don't have the time". " What would others think of me". " My parents won't allow" ect. The more excuses you have, the more fear you have and only return to "NOTHING".

One of the things life boils down to are SURVIVE and REPLICATE. You obviously do not survive, unless you are a immortal. Which of course is not possible. What you can do, is to survive tough and rocky life situations. There are no problems in life. Only situations. And how we deal with situations reflects directly on how it will turn out. A rule of the alpha, BE UNREACTIVE. Simply means, be unaffected by external factors. It's tough to do, but yes it can happen. If you practice, if you are conscious enough. Be present and in the moment. If somethings terrible happens, you do not fall into the unconsciousness and allow your emotions to control you. You simply acknowledge the presence of the situation and know it there. It doesn't affect affect you on a deep level. I'm not telling you to be emotionless. It about controlling your emotions. If you let it run wild, you start falling into an irrational state of mind, and you're like a crazy bull running around the place, not towards a red cloth, but a black one. Start taking charge of your emotions, when you are able to do that, you will and i promise...be able to feel so much in control.

Replication, of course comes in when you start building families. I'm not gonna touch on this too much. if you cannot even survive, how would you replicate? Start building a life. Join a dance class, go take up martial arts classes, go do some water sports, go travelling...talk to strangers...make new friends. If you can start doing this right now, you will start to feel that time is limited. And you will start to realise the importance of every being in the world. You have to be happy with what you do. What I'm revealling here isn't rocket science, but basic logic. BASIC IS GOLD. talk about stories of value , you will have millions of them without even thinking of them, or trying to come out with one. Because you have such a awesome life. Start now and live the life you want to live.

How Do I Start A Conversation?

Yes, the number one question for all the guys that is just starting out.

The moment you think about how to open (start a conversation), the women SMELLS it. The moment you look in their direction like you're churning your brain juices thinking of how to open, they SMELLS it. The moment you ASK the mentor/PUA/Instructor beside you how to open, they SMELLS it.

A lot of guys starting out put way too much thought into an opener, An opener is not meant to attract, it is not meant to seduce, it is not meant to build value ( although i usually have value via, pre-selection, body language and tonality).

It is used, to open. It doesn't and shouldn't last more than a minute.

More often than not , the opener DOES NOT MATTER. It is how your handle the responses.

I do not go " OMG WHAT A HOT GIRL HOW DO I OPEN". I go " Hi guys , do you happen to know what is an angina?

It could also be as simple as "Hi, how are you" or as cheeky as "Hey you are kinda cute but I'm cuter."

The point is , stop thinking about how to open. OPEN FOR GOD'S SAKE. Women move, they are human, they might wanna dance, they might wanna leave, they might even get picked up by a PUA who doesn't waste 15 minute thinking about opening and getting rejected in the process. He just be in moment and have a great time.

If you really, really need help, open another women. Open the girls right beside you, right beside them, whatever. Take note though, this can, and will waste 15 minute of the time where you got could've been building major rapport and attraction with your target.

Process Over Outcome, Do you really understand?

Well, So much has been said about process over outcome. It seems like another philosophy that is being passed down from old age sages, and further pre-packaged into new found enlightenment and thus being passed down again to individuals. However, how does all this intertwine with one another? It is all so easy to just go on and reiterate this powerful belief, hoping that it would skyrocket a person's progress towards succeeding with women in Singapore. Well, not exactly.

Am i messing with your head now?

Most people would go, "I don't get what you mean. How do you enjoy the process when you know the outcome might be an ugly one?" There's a lot of unwiring that needs to be done. And attempting to understand without experiencing is a definite no-brainer.

Enjoying the process, in this case communicating with the opposite sex is directly proportionate to your inner purpose. Your primary purpose is not concrete enough, you cannot enjoy the process. With a lot of guys out there who hit the clubs and the streets, i would say that they think their primary purpose is to polish their skills. I'm generalising here, so do bear with me. It is alright and nothing wrong. It probably is a social conditioning in the "PUA" kingdom". And most times, social conditioning creeps into you without you even knowing, If you are truly enjoying the process, you would not feel an inch of incongruency. Think aobut it. If in any case you feel incongruent in the field, uncomfy...or whatever...it is not your skills, or what you did, or what you said. It is your purpose. YOU GOT IT ALL MESS UP.

This is what most guys do:

Primary purpose ----> Polish up skillset

Secondary purpose ----> Enjoying a genuine interaction/making new friends
I'm not saying this is what you should do, or "do not". It's basically my interpretation of this issues. Beliefs change they are never a constant. If they were a constant, evolution probably can never take place. The face that the primary purpose of most guys is to polish their skills, creates a gaping hole in them which allows critisisms to take place. Criticisms can be rejections etc. And not many guys can learn from it the smart way.

Enjoying the process simply means enjoying the process. Nothing else. In order to do that, your attention and purpose has to be ONE. Your primary purpose allows your full attention to flow into your doing...and your secondary purpose is whatever you want to achieve through the doing. Which obviously is the outcome.

This is what i do:

Primary purose ----> Enjoying a genuine interaction/making new friends

Secondary Purpose ----> Polish up skill set

When you take a step, it is your primary purpose. And the destination is your secondary purpose. In many cases, me being guilty of it in the past, i was not really enjoying my interactions with people in the clubs and on the streets. I was desperately sourcing out for indicators of interest and what not. So i could further calibrate myself what a dumb ass i am and it does not mean you neglect what needs to be done on a practical level. It does not mean ignorance. In fact, the doing and process becomes much easier, when the dimensions of attention is acknowledges and so becomes primary . Quality requires attention. Sometimes when I'm whacked, i get shitty results in field. And its great that i have the ability to identify the dysfunction in me at that moment and immediately rectify the whole interaction. Every time was genuine. Nothing was memorized. And often guys asked "what did you say?" "How many indicator of interest did she give?". My answer I DON'T KNOW. It was fun. That's it. I figured a long time ago, that there are probably two ways for me to evolve my game.

1) Be an ass about dynamics, break it down like a robot and get good results, but in me i feel nauseous and burn out.

2) Follow my senses, purpose and enjoy the freaking process of getting to know another human being, sacrificing a little percentage of success rates. But feel congruent and genuine deep down. And even if the approach did not work out, it doesn't affect me.

I chose the second one. It was touch choice. The mental masturbation was terrible. But i recognise a fact. I am human.

Enjoying the processes, over destinations. After all aren't we all searching for that one thing? Happiness? Physical relationships are simply awesome by products of great interaction. It is not an end. By realizing that your entire life journey consists of the step you are taking at this moment. There is only this one step and so you will give your fullest attention to it. This doesn't mean you don't know where you are going. It just means this step is primary, the destination is secondary. What you encounter at your destination once you get there depends on the quality of this one step.

Grooming and Fashion

Grooming and fashion play an important part in being successful with women in Singapore and in other parts of Asia. Women notice your appearance. They judge it in a couple of seconds and they can tell if something is out place or just plain ugly. And because your dress sense and grooming convey an identity to women, in this post we will be talking about a few general guidelines for grooming and fashion.

Nails:
Keep your finger and toenails trimmed and neat. It's necessary to keep them trimmed, neat and free of dirt as women will notice it immediately. It communicates what kind of a person you are. Whether are you someone that is neat and is ale to take good care of himself.

Hair Style:
Get your hair cut at least once a month unless you are planning to keep your hair long. Always have your hair trimmed and neat. It important to get a good hair style that fits you. I'd suggest going to a expensive salon to get a free consultation, find out what would be the best hair style for your face shape and your hair type. And if your pockets are not blessed with deep pockets go to a cheaper salon to get it done.

Clothes:
Get a girl to go shopping with you, it one of the best things you can do. Women tend to have a better fashion sense compared to guys. Get their opinion and advice on what type of clothes look best on you and what kind of style will fit you. Get clothes that fit your frame and look. Read Fashion magazines on how to dress awesome and the latest trend in Singapore.

Shoes:
Women interpret how you will treat her by the condition of your shoes, believe it or not. So go out there and get some awesome shoes. I recommend getting shoes that are the same color as your belt. Unless you know what you are doing it better to get them the same color. Also bearing in mind you want to keep your shoes in good condition at all times and always polish it and get it cleaned up.

Accessories:
By putting on a few accessories that communicate who you are differentiates you out from every other guy in Singapore. Note: You don't want to put on too many accessories. You will be classified as a weird dude, that doesn't know what he's doing. Find accessories like rings, bracelet, watch, necklace that fits the style you are going for.