Anxiety and a new perspective towards taking care of it.

Many of us prolly might have experienced anxiety before. What kinda anxiety? You know. That tingling-heart pumping-breathless feeling you get when you fancy a cute girl, and found it so darn hard to just go up and say hi. It is normal. If anyone would tell me straight in my face : "Oh i never have anxiety", i prolly wouldn't take him seriously. I had, and still have. Yes, i'm pretty darn honest. And im fine with it. What's different is prolly the different ways we tackle this issue. Some experienced it, and crawled back to their shells and start comforting themselves....some, the better ones..tend to recognise it, and just go through the motions. Walk up. "Hi, how are you?" Some guys even have anxiety while talking to a fellow male. Before you even call him a chump and start laughing hysterically at him...think. What rights do you have to make this judgement about him? You have no rights. It is normal. Throughout these years, i have experienced several incredible growth spurts. I wouldn't say all of them are good or bad..but i prolly wouldn't change anyone of them if i were given a chance. And i proly wouldn't consider myself any different from many guys out there. In terms of individual thinking, yes. But that is just it. Sometimes, i am impressed by my past clients for example Ryan. I learnt alot from just watching him transformed. Lesson i got out of this?

PEOPLE ARE ALWAYS IN THEIR OWN HEADS.

People allow themselves limitations. And you can never be too sure of anything. Because things change..as experience comes in. Be sure of yourself now, in this present moment. Because this is the time you have complete control. This article i am churning out now isn't a complete "cure". No..it is simply just a new perspective ...a signpost...to lead us to our individual purpose in life. What guy A gets out of this material is different from what guy B does. The first time i saw him, he was quiet and reserved. What people might call an "afc". But not in the eyes of mine. He had reservations about his life situations. Progress is tough. But guess what..i look at him now, he is a complete changed man. Maybe not all that sanely...but at least he had made very impressive progress. Go to him for humour lessons. I can vouch for that. =) So much for stories..lol..lets go on to the meat of this article.I do not know how you view anxiety..and i am not going to put a price on it. However, this is how i currently see it..as it is.....

Anxiety isn't a bad thing afterall. Some people say to view it as adrenaline..and "just know it is a good feeling" ..then you are able to remove negative thoughts and just do it. Well, good idea..but doesn't work for me. Have to find out what works for YOU. Not everybody. I view anxiety as spark pugs for growth. Take this analogy...anxiety is like bodybuilding. Each and everytime you lift weights, you are in actual fact breaking down your muscles, and matter of fact, they are going through a stage of atrophy. They are getting smaller. But guess what? It starts growing almost compoundingly..as you start eating right, sleeping enough...and training more...and the cycle goes on. It gets bigger and bigger. So anxiety can be viewed similarly. With anxiety..it is giving you a "push" to go do an approach..and who cares if you crash and burn? Who cares if you got rejected. It doesn't matter. What is in fact happening is this. Each and everytime you get your reality shattered, you grow. YES.EACH AND EVERYTIME YOU GET YOUR REALITY SHATTERED, YOU GROW.

I hope this article provides some kinda value to you guys out there.

Baiting.

What exactly is baiting? Baiting is, to me, throwing in a very subtle sort of communication 'lure' so that the girl will eventually eat it up and respond. I take it one step further, and plant in the curiosity before moving it away so it doesn't seem as obvious.

A few examples.

I like girls who like kissing. Damn what's that song?
I love it when something meant to be eaten can taste so sensual. Nice ring btw.
Its amazing how we can go to a club and talk to complete strangers. Oh my god would you date someone like that? *points*

The usefulness of this conversational strategy cannot be overstated. It can be applied in so many ways, and more often than not even if the girl doesn't bite the bait it will still leave a certain imprint in her mind. That can only be a good thing.

You can use this to say anything, express anything, let her know whatever you want her to know.

What If?

What if she reject me?
What if she doesn't respond?
What if she say fuck off?
What if she slap me?
What if her friends drag her away?
What if she have a boyfriend?
What if she's lesbian?

Sounds familiar? Yes, the above thoughts, not exhaustive by any means, is what is usually going through guys when they are approaching women in Singapore. The fear of the approach and is known as approach anxiety.

Approach Anxiety.

Did the above 2 words just freak you out? If it did, don't worry, it normal.

Everyone get approach anxiety. EVERY LIVING BREATHING HUMAN. GIRLS INCLUDED

See, even guys who are successful with women get approach anxiety.

Whats the difference between the guy who is successful and the guys who not?

A guy who not successful with women let approach anxiety overcome him and stay in his little corner in a club, do nothing all night, and feel like shit.

A ladies men can think to himself "Fuck this shit, I'm going in". and get rejected, and subsequently get the number of the next 5 approaches he open.

Think about it.

Approach without thinking and the Alpha Male.

One of the things why guys in Singapore fail to be successful with women is they think too much sometime. They plan, go out, approach women, sit down, breakdown the approach they did, then? Well, sad to say, I am guilty of that too. I've been through that phrase and at time it still happen, but I've since hone the ability to detect any signs of this bad habit popping up and have learn and still is learning how to control it. It is scary how the human mind can screw you up so badly, even before any action is taken. "Oh , she's gonna be a bitch, and shoot me down, and I'm gonna feel so terrible and embarrassed, and then people around me will notice and start gossiping, I can't do this...no!" I've been there in fact countless of time...so I can feel you. The fact is...you will meet people like that...and the solution is, not to take it personally. She might had a pretty bad day at work...or might just be another low self esteem girl.

Be social! This is NOT the 'evil art of seduction', you are going out in the field to have fun, be yourself, hang out and add value to the people around you. Whether you bang a girl or get a number is secondary. If it happen, it happen but it WILL NOT affect your state of being. You still gonna enjoy yourself even if you don't get laid. But if you are going out purely to get numbers or get laid, Women will detect that attitude from a mile away and it's an instant turn off.

I hate to hang out with guys who can't stop it. "Hey, there's 3 girls..open! Sarge!" "Why didn't you approach?" "What time are we going to start sarging, and until what time?" DUDE, WAKE UP. Just freaking hang out and have fun. When you reiterate stuff like that, you are killing yourself. Approach anxiety starts flowing like water. You now have the skills...use it to interact with people. If you've done it smoothly...the number will come. Process over outcome. You will never get blown out. You are just a friendly guy, talking to people and if uptight people shut you off...they are socially retarded. Why give meaning to blow outs like that?

When learning this skill set, many will try to be what they call the alpha. But guess what? Many do not know what a true alpha really is. True alpha males are rare. True alpha males are perhaps those 5 percent of male in the club with girls around them all the time. Alpha males give without expecting anything in return, they are just plain 'cool', they don't go around buying girls drinks or beg for their phone number. Alpha males create comfortable vibes, they create a warm happy playpen for the women to wander around in. Alpha male don't supplicate, but they treat women as equals and get the same in return. Women will compete for those men, women will work for these men. They are emotionally wired to do so. They will even leave their boyfriend just to hang out with them. They will dump him or hide him or do whatever it takes to align with the alpha male. Aren't they horrible evil sluts for doing so? The answer is NO. Look...they don't have a choice, women are programmed to align with alpha males just like men are programmed to sleep with women. Women love the true alpha males and want to be 'Pick Up'. If you pull this off right, then literally every women you approach will love your presence and your energy. They feel honored to be hanging out with you. The direction of your interaction is up to you and her. It will take some time for you to cease being surprised when you find women want far different things than what you formerly thought they wanted. Remember, that most women are with beta men because that is all they can get. If you are an alpha male who won't deceive her about your intentions then you are doing her a huge favor by introducing yourself into her life. All of the women I date know that I see other women and they don't mind because they would still rather be with me than pretending to be happy with some beta boyfriend.

Sign up for our courses right now and learn what it take to be a true alpha male. For more information check out website www.datingskilset.com


With love,
Gate

Presence, the secret attraction tool.

Everyone looks the same. Everyone acts the same. Even if you are dress really well, you still look the same...which of course varies to the individual 3rd party view. How do you differentiate yourself? I do not advocate teaching people powerful routines to carry off a complete pick up. Develop your personality first, then add in those routines. Take it right here, if you are a empty vessel, routines are just gonna be useless. Yes, you can be completely flawless by throwing routines after rountines..great..if that's what you are doing..then I'm happy for you. However, I know...that deep down...deep down when you are alone, in your room...you mind starts running. Just like the same old feelings that hurts so much, that pierce your heart, that breathless moment...that point of time during your childhood that you felt your parents love your sibling more then they love you. Nothing helps. More routines can never take the permanent scar away. You have to love yourself. Accept the presence given to you. You, like me is going to start from scratch, spend time and effort building the life you, like me love. You, like me enjoy.

Be it wherever you are, your presence is the strongest being in the world. You presence is what creates your reality. Presence is directly proportionate to consciousness, and consciousness is directly proportionate to forming your own world, which is also directly proportionate to forming the bubble around you that protects you from the shit test by the cougars out there. The fact that they are all interlink, only proves that in whatever you do, you have to start from scratch and start with the root. Think about it...we'll talk soon when I'm back from my trip to Taiwan.

Your Friend,
Gate

The Angina Opener!

Here a conversation piece you guys can use to start a conversation with the girls. It called the Angina opener.

Me: Hey guys, help me out here. I'm supposedly the best in English amongst my friends.
Girls:Uh....
Me: What an angina?

That's all

It piques their curiosity and there are endless opportunities for playful teasing when they answer. Due to the nature of how it is pronounce and spell but in actual fact angina is a severe chest pain. Most girls will tend to associate it with some sort of a dirty meaning to the word and that is when you tease them.

Loving Women. An Artform

You probably have encounter them. You probably have had your balls shattered by them. You probably feared them. Or you may be the lucky one, to love them and be loved by them in return.

Seriously...girls are humans after all. Besides the fact that most of them have been brainwashed by agony gurus...they are loving creatures. Before I even continue...

First things first: Never take things personally.

Girls are beautiful creatures beaming with emotional energy. They are cute. They make your life pretty and bouncy. Picture barney and the purple dinosaur. Yes...this is the exactly feeling that you should get when you interact with a girl. Appreciate their emotional ups and downs, accept the fact that they are who they are. And what they are, EMOTIONAL creatures. Don't ever try to change them. Without them, you are never alive. Love them with all you can.

With so much talk about loving them. How do we actually go about doing it? You might be experienced uptight girls, suspicious ones who go: "get a better pickup line!" When you genuinely want directions to the nearest gents...you might even have experience with fickle minded ones who go: "I feel so confused, I think I am just not ready for you love", when you shower her with all the affection she said she wanted Confused ? Don't be.

Accept the way things are. Matter of fact, men and women are build differently. Women can never understand men, and men can never understand women...unless they both decide to take on the journey of learning about the opposite sex, and dwell deeply into evolution psychology. Women don't want what they say they want. You have to be able to the codes. When i talk about love, I am not talking about obsession, needing , or even an outcome. Loving girls is non-judgemental and patient. It's about appreciation of her famine being, and whatever she feels like being right now. Whatever her mood is. Look at women for who they really are. Symphatise on a deep level with what they have to go through. Understand that they have to deal with wild and random emotions and mood swings, and they can't just trust any guy that comes up to them. Appreciate their imperfection and funny antics. When they sit down with you and spit out random illogical stuff stuffs, listen to them...understand that it is part of their emotional circuitry.

Women are fun people. Tickle them. Play with them. Go crazy. Nobody says you have to be all so serious faced with them...and talk serious subjects. After all, life is a fun process.

For guys out there...to sum it all, girls want a men who is able to lead and live life with purpose.

The next time you decide to get all upset and affected when faced with shit that girls throw at you...don't be. The only person who has the power to affect your emotions is YOU. The next time you decide to get involved in an argument with a women, STOP. You can never win.

We at datingskillset have always taken on the mindset that girls are awesome. You should too! They are lovely people with a myriad of emotions. Even to the point where we happen to meet an unstable and uptight one...who do not hesitate to "castrate" us mentally and emotionally...we just shrug it off. Never will you become overly protective of yourself, become violent or verbally aggressive. I have seen tons of guys acting this way. Sadly...some were grown adults. We man, have a part to play in every interaction with girls. It is obviously a balance of the sex. It is what I call value ping.

Always be friendly. Uptight people will lead an uptight life. Well, if you find this post intriguing...yes, thanks...after all, men like us are rare.