Our new singapore dating service website!

Our new Singapore dating service website!

Hey guys,

Just a head up for you all out there, we have move to a new website and it's called www.modernman.sg.

Do check out free coaching session on our website on how you can get a 1 on 1 coaching session with me. Where I'll go through with you step by step on how you can improve your dating life and get more dates.

Love,
Gate.

Ego?

Its something we all have.

For some of us, its something that we barely manage. For others, its something that points them in the direction they head towards in life. For very rare few, they manage to completely (and correctly) handle it so they never get too affected by it.

The wiki explanation goes like this"In modern-day society, ego has many meanings. It could mean one’s self-esteem; an inflated sense of self-worth; or in philosophical terms, one’s self. However, according to Freud, the ego is the part of the mind which contains the consciousness. Originally, Freud had associated the word ego to meaning a sense of self; however, he later revised it to mean a set of psychic functions such as judgment, tolerance, reality-testing, control, planning, defense, synthesis of information, intellectual functioning, and memory."To me, it is just the part in us that is permanently seeking validation. Now, to have self worth is definitely a good thing. In fact, I'd say it is necessary for any successful individual to have a strong sense of self worth. The ones who don't understand the true meaning of self worth, however, will have a warped view of reality. In their reality, the only way they can validate themselves, the only way way they can have self worth, is to constantly and infinitely prove explicitly that they are better than others in one way or another.

To those that belong to the latter, I have to say this.HOW FUCKING PATHETIC ARE YOU IDIOTS?

We all have a different way of viewing this skill set and the places we want it to take us. Some of us learned it to improve upon ourself as a person, some of us treat it as just a skill set and nothing more, some of us are in it for women, and only women.

I'm not gonna say who's right and who's wrong, but if you ask me, anyone with a decent bit of social intelligence and self respect will presumably be intelligent enough to see that there is a whole lot more to life than women. Knowing how to communicate and having success with women is definitely an essential skill all human males should have. The society we are put into doesn't exactly help us with it. As beings of the human race with a penis, we all need to , in the words of mystery, survive and replicate.

Thats the reason this community existed. THAT, is the reason this community and the subsequent coaches existed. This community was made to allow men to help each other with the problem that they were never taught to solve in school or in life. The rare few who 'got it' started this so they can help the other guys out and eventually help the person to fix this aspect of their life so they can move and fix the others.

Fixing this aspect, fixing the problem of women (or lack of), coincidentally, would help a whole load in fixing the other aspects too!

I am saddened by the fact that some have took this community as a way to prove that they are better than the others. Yeah, its an empowering thought, for a while. Its good to be competitive and all, but when you let it consume you, you end up a hollow shell. There's no substance in you, the only thing that keeps you going is the insatiable desire in you to constantly outdo others.

If anyone is really as good as they perceive themselves to be, they would never have that need to explicitly tell the whole world that they are the best.

That, to me, is just plain and simple pathetic.

PS: Are you tired of not being able to attract the women you want to attract or you’re stuck in the friendzone? If you’re and you want to change all of that, attend the Transformation Bootcamp we’re holding this coming month. We’ll show you how you can naturally attract women towards you 24/7.

http://www.modernman.sg/courses-2/transformational-bootcamp/Transformation Bootcamp

Attend our Transformation Bootcamp, you won’t regret it. It will be the best thing you ever.

Love,
Gate

Using your powers to date and attract women wisely.

I was watching the tyra banks show on tv. It was a pretty damn drama situation. They put a loving couple to a test on their relationship..by allowing both of them to go on a date with another person for 24 hours. Can you believe they had the whole camera crew shooting the whole date? Gee.

It was pretty nerve wrecking just watching it. The girl was displaying terrible integrity while on a date with another dude. Spouting stuffs that were painful to even listen. Even if i'm not her boyfriend...man...it was painful.

"Never had a date before while with my boyfriend"... - bullshit? I think so.

And on the other side of the picture, the guy too...did some no-no stuffs. Holdiong hands, smelling his date's neck...well.

But what the hell is that about in the first place? 2 insecure people in a relationship? It's good publicity and good tv show by the way...given that people love drama..but that was just plain stupid. It was horrible conditioning. Hidden messages that people have a lack of honesty was all over the place. Planting negative thoughts into people's minds? Damn.

I forced myself to follow through with the show...

Everything looked pretty damn bad. It was tv show ..true... but the message that audiences received just by watching it was damaging enough.

80% of the audiences were females.

Rebuttal time.

Female lead had massive validation on her excuses on why she did this and that..although it obviously looked and was not right. Male lead was brutally slashed when he escalated physical contact on his date. Female lead was given ample time to explain her actions while male lead was immediately interrupted and cut off by tyra banks on his explainations.

Equality? I think not.

I felt bad for him. He had no other way to justify his actions. He had nowhere to go. And before you know it...oil was added onto the fire.

Interview time!

Audiences were invited upfront to give their comments on whether the female lead should continue her relationship with the male lead.

Audiences invited were all females. NO males.

All said "He doesn't deserve you".

OUCH. The male lead was slammed mercilessly. Poor dude.

In the very first place..nobody should have any say or any authority to comment or justify a relationship. BUT YOU.

YOU ARE IN CONTROL. Do not let other people tell you what you should do. Whether you should break up with him or her. If you ain't even sure of it yourself, what makes you think an outsider is?

It is very sad to see people letting others control their life situations. Let me tell you. That is not wise at all.

It is as if a negative molecules wants to see a neutral molecule turn negative...so they can form an atom.

The scary part about that show was really this...................

"Female audiences rooting for female lead to breakup with boyfriend. Audiences were cheering with wide smiles drawn across their faces"

What a terrible dysfunction!

It was really this....People placing their happiness on other peoples sadness.

OUCH. Stop that. They don't know what is good for you. You know.

And having such dating skills being so mainstream....many people have misused their ability.

With great power comes greater responsibilities.


I've seen people who misused their powers and go around breaking up relationships. And ultimately stroking their ego so that they feel so much more better after doing a bad deed...by saying to themselves....

"I know i am a better man for her. Her current boyfriend is a chump. She won't be happy. Let me show her what she is missing"


YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO DO SO.

What makes you think you have? You don't know. True enough, the girl's boyfriend may not be as influential or outgoing as you. True enough, on comparison if i place you both on a weighing scale..you will come out top. But that still does not give you any power to break up a relationship.

Don't get me wrong here. It is ultimately fine to have a healthy self esteem by knowing that you are a great guy that can give any woman a great time. But it is not right to use this affirmation as a reason to allow you to spring into action by being the "Haha-Im -Going-To-Snatch-The-Girl-From-The-Boyfriend guy". Because you don't know. You have no rights.

If you look at it from a bigger picture..why do you even need to get the girl who is already in a relationship? Deep down...is it just another ego boost to your mental concept of yourself as a "sexworthy guy"? If she really hates being in the relationship she's in...and is dying to get out of it....she will tell you. But it is of no proper moral tothe situatio even escalate n just because you know you are a great guy.. and can "give her a great time that her current boyfriend can't". \

Don't tell me things about "If the relationship if going well, she wont cheat". That is simply a lame excuse again for your stupid ego to escalate and get the girl.

What i'm talking about here is...you have no rights to determine her happiness..and his happiness. If you are even in the process...or utilising any single "tactics" to try to get the girl...you know you have crossed the line.



Again....YOU HAVE NO RIGHTS.


My stand has always been the same. I'll never touch a girl who is attached. And i know when to draw the line. And i have another new found friend.

The distribution of power has since become a get-the-girl kind thing...and not about self-improvement and communication skills anymore..


I am deeply saddened...


Power has to be balanced....It will only serve to ruin you one day...if you ain't know how to use it.

4 Guys and 1 Girl

I was in the train today, on my way to an awesome day out. The weather was great. No newpaper, no magazine...i allowed my vision to wander about the freezing cabin, hoping to spot something interesting. No luck.

On to my games in my cell phone..i went on enjoying my little time alone. I was a little distracted when a group of students boarded the train. As usual, loud and seemingly "cool", with tapered pants and huge earphones. .

4 guys, 1 girl. I could easily understand the dynamics of this small little group, just from one glance. 1 attention seeking girl, 4 needy guys. OUCH. Not really healthy. lol. It wasn't until one hokey pokey cool guy made his move..that i felt utterly nauseous. No offence..but i really did. With overcompensating non-verbal cues, and ridiculously meaningless questions...he went on a live firing rampage. Yea...i could see what was goin on.

Guy: Hey, why do you only wear one earphone?
Girl: So im able to listen to my music and know what you guys talk about at the same time.
Guy: Oh, is that nice?
Girl: i duno. hehehehee.

I mean..seriously... as much as i tried to mind my own business, i have this huge inclination to just watch behind my shades and anticipate their next moves. And i'm pretty darn good at that. ROFL. It ended up with the guys fighting to be a hero and bashing one another down and the girl acting weirdly..doing overly compensating actions to ask for attention. It was utterly unsightly.

Can't blame them though. We all came from the same piece of cloth..but until you are unplugged...like "neo" in the matrix..you will forever be like that.

Look, when you are talking to a girl, your mind is moving rapidly...just like a loop. You're always thinking of what to say. If your standards of interaction relates to what you read in romance novels...or even television programmes...there's a very high chance that you will never get the results you want. Televisions are simply...fictional. And most of us who are constantly watching tv programmes, drama etc, are in fact being socially conditioned in a way that society is telling us what we should be doing or should look like.

There will always be a difference in the reality of a scientist and an average joe. What's the difference? It's the information that is constantly being fed into the mind. The scientist analyses..the scientist debates...the scientist experiments..and the results from all these creates his reality of how he views things. However, an average joe is constantly being programmed by the media..by his boss..and bla bla bla....step out of the rat race, step out of conditioning...

Explore various portal of thoughts...you will find it intriguing..

Love,
Gate

Learning how to date girls in Singapore?

Learning how to date girls in Singapore?

I've always been open to various viewpoints on subjects, and i've always been pretty philosophical about stuffs. It's fun and it challenges and stretches our mind-rubberband. And out of curiosity, i went to wiki philosophy.

Damn, am i appalled at the branches of it. Aesthetics, logic, epistemology, metaphysics...etc. I shook my head, but i continued reading and discovering. It was scary. Scary to know that there are so so so so much more out there. And we can never stop discovering.

And i started to question. I started to question this "buzzing thought" i've always seems to have in my head.


*I don't wana know. I don't wana listen anymore. I know what i know. That is enough. Stop giving me anymore excess information. I am so tired*


Somehow, at every junction of learning something new, it never fails to pop out and wish me a good day. I question the reason. I question the reason why it seems to go away after i bust through all the brick walls and master a certain new skill.

As if saying : Oh now i ain't have any control over holding you back now..bye bye! And poof! Off it goes...

Ironic huh? Weird huh? But it happened. It happened and is still happening to me. Humans are effing lazy by nature. ROFL. That's just my personal take on it. =p

And so...it prolly might be directly proportionate to being complacent. Highly i would say. Imagine how incongruent it would feel to step out of your house and build a tent out there and sleep in it for a few days. You'll prolly feel eeky on the 2nd day onwards. You aint used to that condition yet. Not yet. Bear with it for a few more days.. and your tolerance level may well move up a notch...and it starts to feel better..it starts to feel pretty much normal and relaxing...you're starting to adapt.

And so...below is an abstract from wiki.. take note of the ones i highlighted in red.


Learning
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Learning is one of the most important mental function of humans, animals and artificial cognitive systems. It relies on the acquisition of different types of knowledge supported by perceived information. It leads to the development of new capacities, skills, values, understanding, and preferences. Its goal is the increasing of individual and group experience Learning functions can be performed by different brain learning processes, which depend on the mental capacities of learning subject, the type of knowledge which has to be acquitted, as well as on socio-cognitive and environmental circumstances.
Learning ranges from simple forms of learning such as habituation and classical conditioning seen in many animal species, to more complex activities such as play, seen only in relatively intelligent animals and humans. Therefore, in general, a learning can be conscious and not conscious.

For example, for small children, not conscious learning processes are as natural as breathing. In fact, there is evidence for behavioral learning prenatally, in which habituation has been observed as early as 32 weeks into gestation, indicating that the central nervous system is sufficiently developed and primed for learning and memory to occur very early on in development.
From the social perspective, learning is the goal of teaching and education.
Conscious learning is a capacity requested by students, therefore is usually goal-oriented and requires a motivation.

Learning has also been mathematically modeled using a differential equation related to an arbitrarily defined knowledge indicator with respect to time, and dependent on a number of interacting factors (constants and variables) such as initial knowledge, motivation, intelligence, knowledge anchorage or resistance, etc.[5][6] Thus, learning does not occur if there is no change in the amount of knowledge even for a long time, and learning is negative if the amount of knowledge is decreasing in time. Inspection of the solution to the differential equation also shows the sigmoid and logarithmic decay learning curves, as well as the knowledge carrying capacity for a given learner.


Physiology of learning

"Thought," in a general sense, is commonly conceived as something arising from the stimulation of neurons in the brain. Current understanding of neurons and the central nervous system implies that the process of learning corresponds to changes in the relationship between certain neurons in the brain.
It is generally recognized that memory is more easily retained when multiple parts of the brain are stimulated, such as through combinations of hearing, seeing, smelling, motor skills, touch sense, and logical thinking.
Repeating thoughts and actions is an essential part of learning. Thinking about a specific memory will make it easy to recall. This is the reason why reviews are such an integral part of education. On first performing a task, it is difficult as according to current theory synaptic modification is necessary for the task to be acquired. After several repetitions it is believed that structural changes occur in relevant synapses, thus rendering the task easier. When the task becomes so easy that you can perform it at any time, these structural changes have likely ceased.


Yep, and so it proves one thing, It may be that the unconscious is afraid of leaving the comfort zone and entering a new area where the previous skills it has since acquired will not be the essential moving piece in the new situation. It will highly be neglected. You ain't gona talk about your knowledge of stocks and shares on a date.. and just by omitting the already acquired knowledge..it prolly threatens the ego to let go. To release the tension is has been holding on to..and jump into a new environment to pick up something new and unlearnt.

And it pretty much proved my experiences. There can never be a ceasation of human learning process. When it ceases...you fall onto the negative side of the graph. Pretty scary.

Learning is an everyday thing. For anybody who thinks they hit a plateau in self improvement...back to basics.. You probably in some point of your life resisted new information. You resisted change. You resisted the learning curve. Thus, you prolly plunge way back down. The deeper down you go, the more effort it's gonna take you to climb.

Past students reading this....there isn't any magic pill anymore....the only magic pill is to climb. Stretch your mind-rubber...and keep stretching....for that's what life is about. If you aint stretching...be damn sure you are already dead. Every effort to stretch requires energy and motivation.....and every energy and motivation present represents every second of life. If you are still alive and kicking....ain't no excuse for you not to learn new skills.

Till then, love.

PS: Are you tired of not being able to attract the women you want to attract or you’re stuck in the friendzone? If you’re and you want to change all of that register for your free 1 on 1 coaching session with us.

http://www.modernman.sg/courses/free-coaching-session/

Love,
Gate. 

Fear of success with women in Singapore

It's a brand new experience for me today, i did the unthinkable. Well..at least it felt fresh.

I was talking to someone today, and throughout the conversation i could feel an intense energy i can't really explain or decipher. It was somewhat defensive and rigid. Like trying an impossible feat of moving a brick wall with your bare hands.

It got me thinking. And after some painful mind screwing i was giving myself...this is what i came to conclusion with...

People often create an idea of what their life is going to be like, or will eventually be like..And almost auto-pilot-ly..they identify themselves with it. This whole concept eventually becomes their reality. Their reality of who they are, what they are worth, and how they are going to live their life. Which is obviously what makes human beings unique individuals...to a certain extent maybe. Lets face it..let's just dwell into the deeper of it all. Do we really have a strong sense of who we are, and our purpose in life? Or are we simply just following what we think another person is doing right and foolishly model their sense of reality?

Have you ever had any experience talking to a friend whom you think needs help, but just for god's sake sticks to what he thinks he's doing right...even though reality says otherwise? I did. I remember talking to a friend about self improvement, hoping i could add some constructive value to his life...only to end up being mercilessly mocked at by him. Believe me, when you truly want to help, and end up being insulted and laughed at..that will never feel good.

"Do you really think that by going out socialising, and talking to strangers will help assist you in developing your communication skills with the opposite sex? Are you really that desperate to have a girlfriend? Oh com'on, don't be silly. I don't even need to learn all these. I am so blardy good looking. I have an awesome career. Girls will come. All will fall in place. Relax!! Remember how betty used to go head over heels over me? Remember how 5 years ago that girl went crazy over me?" --- Yea..5 years ago? What about the present moment? Stop living in the past will you?

All of the above...might sound familiar to you. Or maybe that person is you. I don't know. But i have friends like that, definitely. I used to come from that state of mind too. LOL. Pretty funny huh..especially now i'm thinking about it. And it brought me to ponder deeper. What is all this bullshit thinking all about? Matter of fact, it's probably derived from FEAR. Fear of having your already constructed reality shattered. Simply because you are being so comfortable in it that you felt there is no need for anything better, anything closer to getting to know your higher self. That similar anxiety you felt when you are unsure of whether you should take on that promotion opportunity or not. YES! That anxiety. That fear of success. That uncertainty.

Or maybe i should just stay put at where i am..at least i kinda feel safe? And then i die and realised how short my journey towards self improvement was? That is sad.

That is probably the reason why most people are unable to take the first step, the first plunge even though they know it eventually will be fruitful for them. The inability to accept that their mentally constructed reality will be destroyed, along with their identity...i mean..it is true...been there, done that. GROWN. =)

It is so paradoxical isn't it? I know i want it, but there is this unexplainable force holding me back. Just what the hell is it? I know by self improvement is good for me, but i just don't feel i need it right now.

WHY?

Maybe i'm just too afraid to leave this comfortable zone in my life to explore new arenas. Or maybe when i step out of comfort, i might die. Or maybe.. or maybe..or maybe...

It never ends. The question keeps coming. What if i surrender my ego, and just take the plunge?

Uncertainty?

Look, when you are born you are uncertain if you are going to survive. When you take an exam, you
are uncertain if you are going to pass with flying grades. When you take on your first job, you are uncertain where it will eventually bring you. And when you die..you are uncertain where you will be going.

YOU ARE LIVING IN UNCERTAINTY ALL YOU LIFE.

So when are you going to get out of your head? Maybe never? What is so scary about uncertainty, now that you realize you have been living your life in uncertainty all this while?

I was conversing with someone who commented on my hair. Reality wise..yes, it probably didn't turn out the way she thought it to be. It simply cannot fit in. So instead of accepting it, she rejected. She became dictative of how my hair should have looked like.....she wanted it to be fitted into her perceived reality. So as to feel comfortable..to feel "at peace". Notice how sometimes you kinda feel icky when you see something you just cannot accept?

LEARN TO ACCEPT IT.

Learn to face your fears. Learn to gravitate around them. Learn to take action.

Till then,

Do something

Love.

Why phone numbers don't mean a thing.

Most guys feel that getting a phone number is equivalent to scoring a goal.

They place far too much importance in it.

Reason is simple. It could be fake, or she may not even answer unknown calls.

Girls give out numbers for all kinds of reasons.

1. She may need some kinda ego boost at that moment
2. She likes u but decided against investing more as there was no/ not enough qualification/attraction done during the interaction
3. She wants to have guys calling/ msg-ing her just to 'kill-time' and show to her friends for social proof
4. She felt embarassed not to give it to you even though she wasn't attracted to you e.g. introduced by common friend

However, a ladies man understands that a phone number is a natural occurence in a successful set. A successful set prior to a phone number is defined as:

1. Attraction created
2. Qualified her ("push-pull")
3. Rapport and connection built (sharing of dreams, vulnerabilities,)

My girlfriend's a natural at doing that (mostly giving out due to common friends, then complaining about chumps bothering her).

Oh, I'm shouldn't be talking about her in public. Lol.

So guys.. getting a phone number means nothing if you haven't done the above 3 steps. Unless she's bored and wants to kill time, she probably won't entertain you for long or at all. If you've done the 3 steps well or ran tight game, she will offer the number to you.

Refer to the post on the phone calls on "how not to mess it up". First 8 lines of your phone dialogue will probably make or kill you as well.

This shit is tough, but nobody ever said it was easy.

Your Friend,
Gate

Amazing how things change.

It's amazing.

I was walking back from supper and I spotted a cute girl with her boyfriend (apparently) from a distance away.

The first thought that crossed my mind was: "She may not be happy in that relationship."

The next was: "Wow.. 8 years ago I would have thought otherwise."

Now, I'm not saying that it's a good way to think, but it's literally universes apart from how most people would see things, given the same situation, isn't it?

Typical thought-pattern of convention thinking:

"Oh she's attached.. .too bad."
"She has a boyfriend.. forget it, what's the use of even trying?"

And so it ends there... or does it?

Let's just say my point-of-view opens up a whole new world of possibilities. In that instance I could decide to find out if she's happy with her current situation.

Instead of "too bad", I wondered "what if she isn't happy?".

So it came to the conclusion that people do and can change. It just takes time, effort and the willingness to.

Inner game takes a long time for most people. Guys in this community often encourage the development of both outer and inner game. They compliment each other.

Sitting at home reading 10 hours of self-improvement books won't help if you don't get out there and experience it first hand.

Going out there with no technique, adequate skills nor the appropriate mindset for 10 hours will only teach you what not to do the next time, and perhaps if you're lucky, you find something that works. Worse if you never learn from your mistakes.

Do both. Join our theory classes and our In field classes where we meet women together in real life situations.

Life is always good. Be a great guy.

Your environment reflects YOU and your success with women.

Busy busy busy. I hate the early morning squeezing, and late evening pushing. I think singapore is getting too over populated. ROFL. People start standing across the "Yellow Line", when the train is passing by at lightning speed. Crazy muthafukas.

Anyway, if you think i'm gona chant and rant on any recent girl experiences...you might wana look elsewhere. lol.

I'm heavily burnt out right now, but i'm pushing myself to blog. Reason being..?

*READ THE TITLE*

For every effort you employ to push yourself to greater heights and to breaking your limits, you grow. Simple yet true.

I'm in fact pushing my mental capacity right now...just like my every morning to work. While people are busy catching their precious "i finally got a seat in the train and now im going to sleep" BEAUTY SLEEP...i'm reading a 500 page book.

I get weird stares and funny looks, i don't know why.

Look, you can easily stand out from the crowd and know you are unique when you see a majority of the population behaving the same way every morning.

"Droopy eyes..walking zombie with no effing sparkle of energy"

Some people say that you can create your environment. You can decide what kind of life you want to lead. True enough. However, please do not mistake this for "The environment mean no shit to me".

It took me sometime to fully understand this concept. and at some point in my life, when i least expects...it went "click". Somehow it seems like we humans are meant to be simple. We humans are meant to adapt. We humans are meant to merge. We humans are meant to be in our comfort zone.

Your environment and you correlate. They both work hand in hand. There is no "one stronger force". There essentially should be balance.

You are the mirror of your environment.

Through personal experience, i realised that it is close to impossible to change this fact. Well, my opinions here..so..yeah. You can control though. The fact that we become complacent. That we adapt, almost too quickly.

Say you have superb social skills, superb social abilities around women. You party all day, you enjoy life to its fullest.

Take a month or two, get into the bandwagon, and join the rat race.

And tell me..how much more of a ladies man are you? How much more of a social butterfly can you then be? Social conditiong is taking place. Social routines are making you a robot.

You can never be "something" forever. If you even see yourself as a POOAA..then good for you. Cos you know what? You can never be one forever. Cos there isn't forever. There is no constant.
The only constant is change. And if you cant accpet this fact..then you will lose out. Lose out big time. Everything is changing. The environment changes. New buildings are built. New gadgets are invented. What can you do? You can only change.

And in fact. this is exactly how your environment will affect you and how you live your life to a certain extent. However, you are able to tap on this issue and maximise the positivity that you want in your life. And that is your choice. And when you make that choice, be it for the good of mankind ..or you...it will affect the environment. And thus...change will take place again.

This whole process can be known as....EVOLUTION.

And if you choose to party all day and night, boozing here and there..enjoying life... then that probably might be what you will do in a small part of your life. And if you inject any more life into it, it might become a large part of your life..and in turn..might be the only thing that you have in your life. And you have literally transform yourself from a "not bad" person to a loser who only plays and plays...and ends up having problems paying the bills.

And if you choose to be a guy who only revolves his life purpose in meeting and dating many girls..then you probably can see yourself ten years down the road......whatever you deem fit.

There is much more to life than constantly dating girls. True enough, love is great. However, take some time to just hang out with friends..just chill and have fun. You don't always need to turn things sexual whenever a lady is around.

So, start thinking about what you want in your life..and go find it!

cheers!

Simple is what get the girls.

Met some awesome guys last night, really cool and sincere people. Shared some ideas on dating throughout the night, and voila.!!. Laughter and smiles all over the place. It's as if people around us were non-existent.

Had a simple but mind blowing epiphany today.


Simply put, it's this simple and stupid system in which people learn new stuff. Especially in the dating industry...which makes them so darn robotic, and fake..yea.


Oblivious ---> Exposed to new technique ---> Test out new technique ---> Trial and error ---> sift out what works and what doesn't ---> Explore new technique ---> Test out technique --->Trial and error ---> sift our what works and what doesn't

Awesome flow chart right? I mean trial and error is great right? NO? From being totally oblivious to any dating advices to having an upper hand, to trying out these new found knowledge, to testing it out, to keeping what works and what doesnt, and finally to explore NEW techniques again...and on...and on..and on...

Great you say? Yes..that's what most guys in the dating community thinks...and eventually behave.

Great..i digress.

That's what's gonna kill you in the long run. From building up an egoistic self, to making yourself feel miserable by always having the need to think of new tactics to get the girl.

As i always say...keep it short and simple. and POTENT.

My mentality..

Oblivious ---> Exposed to new technique ---> Test out new technique ---> Trial and error ---> sift out what works and what doesn't ---> Understanding why it works and why it doesn't --->
Freeflow time!

PERIOD.

The difference between both mentality?

The first one gets you stuck in the "What should i Say, Do, Behave NEXT?" to get the girl bubble of stupidity. And turns you into an analytical FREAKSHOW who doesnt know how to have real fun.

The latter enables you to expand your perspective, while understanding key concepts..in essence allows you to showcase your natural attractiveness, while not compensating on the attraction department.

Fair?

Is this the key to destroying weird freak shows ??

I dun know..

I just love myself.

=)

How to deal with rejections from women. The misfire approach.

Rejections from a women during a approach or a date is what i call the misfire approach. Face it, no matter how attractive or seductive you are, there will be a particular girl who hates you, and one who loves you to bits.

There is really nothing you can do about it. No amount of routine is able to rectify that.

However, if you are lovable in the first place, people will eventually like you. You go out with the fire in your eyes, execute your intentions with pure honesty and integrity. That's how you experience congruency. And if you can't look at yourself right in the mirror without flinching a bit, you ain't strong enough.

I'm telling you right now to work on yourself. I'm telling you to practice the misfire approach, rather than the usual planning, aiming of targets.

Leave the lines and dynamics alone for now.

Some guy told me that doing the above is not productive, and it doesn't guarantee results.

Bullshit. This guy who said the above is, and will not be happy internally...for a long long time.

This brings us back to why many guys decided to chart this journey of learning how to communicate better with women.

They ain't get no dates. And they ain't comfortable living alone.

Who sets the rule that if you ain't have any girl, you are a loser? No one.

This skill set addresses the issue that has been, and still is biting at everyone of our inner self. We ain't comfortable spending time alone. Misunderstanding the need for a partner as the answer for our happiness, i was guilty of it.

What are you lacking? You answer it yourself. A relationship is a vehicle to bring out the light in both human beings. To propel both people to higher grounds of consciousness. Nothing more. If you are currently in a long term relationship, ask yourself if you are growing. Growing intellectually, emotionally and spiritually. Ask yourself if you constantly challenge your partner to grow. I bet not huh?

The impossible is often untried. Before you say something is impossible, try it. Try it until it works.

Don't limit yourself to structures. Don't burn bridges. I've lost great friends to the human ego. I've lost friends who suddenly realized they have evolved to be a super pick up artist, and lost themselves in delusion. The moment you start viewing yourself as a master, you short change your learning curve.

I never compete against the competition. The only one i compete against is myself, because one day i will beat the competition and then who will i compete against?

There is really nothing more powerful than love in this world. Nothing.

Forgive and have compassion, for that is the operant which brings in the results.

Operants transcend both the observable and non observable. We might picture them as a rainbow bridging the deterministic and the nondeterministic realm.

In dating terms, whatever you feel she feel.

The operant in this case is your body language and the energy you are giving off. With operant as the vehicle to transcend thoughts into actions, you basically will require a strong attractor pattern. In this case, your inner self.

If you are starting of a conversation with a playful teasing, hoping to generate some great responses, hoping she will tease you back..so you can determine her level of interest in order to secure your next move....your attractor pattern is WEAK.

You should rather be allowing your true self to shine, not caring about any rejections or successes you will get throughout the night. Gracefully gliding and mingling around the club and genuinely enjoying yourself. Just how many people can do that?

Before you disagree, think for a moment..are you really enjoying yourself when you are faking an approach?

There you have your answer. You want her. And as a man, how wimpy it is that you need a reason to express your interest in her? That being said, to deliver such a power pact opening by blatantly showing interest..you need some preparations.

You need to smell good
You need to look sharp and well groomed
You need to show your sparking teeth and deliver an ass whooping wide smile
You need to be talking to everyone and assume rapport
You need to be able to hold eye contact (unwavering that is)
You need to be GENUINELY HAPPY and having FUN

The above will take care of many many things. It is the stuff that you should be thinking about when you enter a club, and everywhere you deem fit. It is your attractor pattern. And with these attractor patterns, it directly affects the kind of operants you use, aka bodylanguage / speech / words. And this manifests itself into the observable event. Whether or not she reciprocates solely depends on your internal view of yourself.

Misfire approach? You bet. Who cares if she hates your guts? Does it affect you? End of the day, if you were to die tomorrow, are you going to be happy?

You know the answer my man.

Spend some time, think about it. If the universe is so easily figured out, if dynamics are so easily manipulated, we'll all be gods. Things are always changing. External events intercorrelate. The only control we have is over our emotions and thoughts.

That should be the only unwavering thingy you should care about. Not logistics, not whether she gives you ten iois or not.

Should you be able to be true to your intentions, things will unfold..things will take care of themselves.

Afterall, that's the exciting part of life isn't it? You never know what you get..

Stay true. Try it

Happiness and your dating structure.

People view happiness differently. Some see it as having what they want, some see it as achieving personal goals, some see it as watching others appreciate their lives...so on and so forth.

Are you happy? Are you really happy?

If you even need any time to think about it..you are not happy. Face it. How congruent are we..how sure are we..to say we are totally happy? Don't tell me..don't ask me...ask yourself. Just like how i asked myself.

Happiness is not about what you have, or how much you have. Rather, it is about how much you give. And this road of giving is not for the faint hearted. This road of giving, will show you the way to human open-ness. But you will have to go through alot of pain, alot of wiring on your already socially programmed mindset..to give selflessly. It will show you the way to unconditional love. Love that requires no expectations of returns. Well, if there are any..those are simply bonuses and by-products of your human aawesome-ness. Until you are able to do that...you will always be finding that one special secret recipe. Deep down in you, in the middle of the night, just before sleeping, you will reflect...you will talk to yourself...you will ask....how do i find it?

In any case, whenever you expect a reward of your giving...you will feel terrible. Anytime you place any importance on rewards..any importance to feed your ego..you will feel terrible. As much as i thought this whole thing was about learning how to speak with women, and attract them on a primal level...i quickly knew that there was more. More than meets the eye.

You want to know how to attract a woman you fancy?

Improve

Improve yourself as a whole. Not only on superficial levels such as conversational skills, humor, or whatsoever that you will learn in bootcamp. Rather....it is really about building a solid set of moral values, character, beliefs, etc. To summarise, be someone of standard. Be a really good person. Be a person who gives value. Be a person who sings praises of people who deserve it. Let it go.

A car with engine and petrol will move, but if it is an old and faulty engine...some crappy petrol...the car ain't gonna go far.Your value as a man is your capacity as a man.

With extra resources on building confidence, learning to be creatively humorous, ability to continue and escalate conversations, the road to finding your purpose and building your structure as a man will be much more easier.

Afterall, these are just my opinions and my thoughts on this subject.

But really think about it.

Your ability to be a value giver..is really a beautiful attribute. It is a gorgeous thing to have.

Realistically speaking..what is so good about being able to meet women..and being really good at it? The physical pleasure? Or the beautiful energy when both humans connect on an emotional level?

If this is your warped reality...

You go out one night, you meet a beautiful woman..you spent time with her...you bring her home...and you made sweet physical love...and then she leaves..the next night..you meet another beautiful girl...and the cycle goes on..and it happens for years..and then you die. Lets say...you die 3 years down the road...and you have spent your last 3 years doing what you were doing...successfully...constantly dating gorgeous women...and now you're on your deathbed...you look back...apart from having those pretty girls ..of who many probably don't even remember you.....are you happy? Is this the life you want? Have you really allowed your core as a man to shine? To face your fears of pain? To be a giver rather than a taker?

Hey, this obviously is not the life i wanna lead though. I know i will not be happy. This kind of life is not fulfilled to me at all. When i'm on my deathbed, i want to know..that i had lived a full life. A life that i know i gave my best. I know i gave my everything, i gave what i want and i experienced what served as beautiful lessons...to discover myself on a deeper level. I want to know that i made an impact on the lives of the people who came into my life.

To die knowing that i have given my true gift..or knowing that i have done my every best in my everyday life...like what an anonymous self help guru said...is very empowering.

When i started my journey learning how to be good with women..i was working on quantity. Never did i expect it was a pretty warped reality. But it brought me to where i am now. It provided me with a direction for self improvement. I now focus on quality. Women of depth.

Opening someone up and leaving them with no concrete reason is a very cruel act. Why would anybody wana do that? It really is not about how many women you hook up with...it is really not about the quantity...but rather..the quality.

Your values and motive that you have is directly proportionate to the kind of woman you attract.

If you ain't have the right motive..you ain't have the right woman.

If you are of no quality yourself...you ain't gonna attract a quality woman.

Women can smell you from afar. The moment you speak...they know where you are coming from. They know if you are a man who knows his purpose in life, or just another shallow man who simply wants some physical love.

A smile attracts a smile

A punch receives a punch

You want to attract a good woman....?

BE A GOOD MAN YOURSELF FIRST

Your Friend,
Gate

Success with Women, are you ready for it?

Are you ready for this?
Are you ready to take the plunge?
Are you ready to go on this awesome self improvement journey?
Are you ready to kill your former self and completely remould your character?

ARE YOU READY?

Well, I've heard all sorts of replies ranging from the most enthusiastic "YES" to the most apprehensive "Uh... I dunno"

Nobody ever said this is going to be easy, neither did anyone say that it will be smooth sailing. It happens for a good reason. This journey, is going to be TOUGH.

Your mettle is gonna be tested time and again.
Your ego is gonna be smashed into pieces so brittle you'll lose sight of it.
Your friends, some of them, are going to scorn you for actually taking the step they have been running away from.
Your confidence will be brought down to levels and depths of an all time low.
Your discipline to keep going will be ruthlessly questioned.
YOU, are going to be smacked and bashed so many times, you will give it up if you are any lesser of a man than this demands.

Now before you take on this journey, I want you to ask yourself this question, with the above statements thrown in. If you are ready, if you are willing, then let me welcome you to this world, and the kind of things you can achieve.

You will be able to experience life and see things through eyes you never knew you possessed.
You will be able to walk through life with so smooth a swagger you will command the world.
You will have the ability to make heads turn just by simply walking into a room.
You will have so many more options in life you'll be spoilt for choice.
You'll never have to worry about the lack of female company in your life.
You will be the man women want.
You will be the man other men want to be.
You, will be, THE MAN.

Will you be afraid of the sacrifices you have to make and back out of it?
Will you take the first step but cower in fear of the things you have to break out of?
Will you refuse to budge from your comfort zone, knowing you have that bit of success and remain ever so desperate to cling onto it?
Will you take the step, take the plunge, and emerge a new man?

Which of the above 4 would be the question that pertains to you?

Think it through.

The Basics of Attraction (Free workshop)

What up guys, I wanna let you all know that we people over at datingskillset.com will be holding a free workshop. Here the details for it and YES it completely free. You don't need to pay a single cent for it.

The Basics of Attraction (Free Workshop)

Learn what it takes to be an attractive guy that consistently attract girls and get dates in Singapore

The basics of attraction workshop is to equip YOU with the basic essentials of being an attractive guy that consistently attract girls and get more dates in your dating life. If you want to be more successful in the field of dating in Singapore, this workshop is definitely a must attend for you.

In this FREE workshop, you’ll learn:

· The four main traits that 90% of guys in Singapore do that lead them to no success with women.

· The  secrets towards being an attractive guy and we’ll also show you why looks and money don’t play a part in being successful with women.

· Conversation starters: Learn rejection proof on how to start conversation with a women in any situation. Example, MRT, Bus Stop, coffee shop, shopping malls, Orchard Road, clubs & bars and many more places.  You’ll never have to worry again of NOT knowing what to say.

· Tonality, specific tactics to speaking louder and how to speak more sexually.

· Singapore proven to work techniques to getting a women phone number.

· Body language, a basic guide to getting all your body language down for good. No longer having to look needy and low in confidence.

· Powerful ways to use humor playful and teasing in your interactions with all women.

· Meeting women should be FUN! Ways to keep you engage and focused on your long termed dating goals without having to viewed this like a work. Not to forget being able to get the results you wanted too.

Above are just one of the many things you’ll will be taught in this 3 hour workshop. Timing and venue for the workshop will be reveal to you once you sign up for it.  Simply send us an email with your name and phone number and you will be given a slot to the workshop. Sign up right now for our free workshop to avoid any disappointment as seat are very limited. The Basics Of Attraction will commence on the 7 of April 2012.

If you any enquires regarding the workshop feel free to end us a email at Gate@modernman.sg

Your friend,
Gate.

The Power Of Attraction.

Have you ever felt exhausted, burnt out from all these attraction stuff that you've read, learn, or even consciously act out?

You are not alone.It isn't new anymore. Every successfully transformed Singapore alpha male will tell you the same old theory.

Sometimes less is more.

Moving on is something, but understanding why you should and why it is the ultimate truth is another. If it isn't already clear to you, the reason people pick up new skills is directly proportionate to their motive which drives their purpose. Individual purpose takes time to discover. Nobody can tell you what you should be responsible in your life. It is the universal truth that we all have to tread this journey ourselves. Often times, it is the question that makes the cut, not the answer.

And the human ego is sly as it is, often times slipping in from the back of the mind without you consciously knowing. " The world is your mirror " - a common quote you hear all the time. Your comments and criticisms are simply a reflection of your perception of yourself.

That of which you resent, you lack.

The ultimate truth is often misunderstood, or even misrepresented.In this time and age when freedom of speech is widely practiced, we begin to doubt our own values, and beliefs. Oftentimes, unconsciously taking on values from an external source, in which the values came from another external source. It is a never ending cycle that serves to only make the unconscious more unconscious, and the conscious more conscious.

Well, just like how the rich gets richer and the poor gets poorer.

When will it stop?

The invisible force is constantly working its magic, all with the majority of our human population
being unaware. What invisible force you may ask? Go read "The secret", and you shall have a better understanding of what i'm saying. It's weird whenever you talk to someone about this "invisible force", and they give you that weirded out stare, given the fact that the "weirdo" is well aware of the presence of other invisible forces like x-rays and gamma rays. I don't know. It seems like the human ego is trying to resist allowing the truth to set in.

Running away serves as a temporary relieve of pain.

Matter of fact, most of us are constantly living our lives through force, instead of power.

Just like how you would conduct a textbook style pickup. If you come down to the bare minimum, you are simply acting through force. Pushing your values and wants onto another person. Yes, you may have some initial successes, but it is just temporary. Understand that a force will return an opposing force. A force moves something from here to there, and it's limited by definition. A force requires constant stimuli. And yes, you may not be able to handle the returning force..you never know. And yes, it is obviously coming from a point of artificial stimuli.

On the other hand, you would do so much better if you are coming from a point of power. By definition, power is still, stable and it requires no external stimuli. An example, gravity. Power affects the things around it, it generates energy in itself.

Why wouldn't we want to look at attraction in this perspective instead?

Wouldn it be much more beneficial to the degenerating human condition?

True and unbelievable at first, there really is a rotating vortice in every one of us. We are all human generators. And how do we kick start this generator? We need to learn how to be compassionate. We need to learn how to not judge, how to act from power and purpose, instead of lack and fear.

One can then truly grasps the meaning of "unreactiveness" when one is being exposed to this ultimate truth. As i always like to reiterate, we come to this world with nothing, and we shall leave with nothing. It simply is a myriad of experiences that we truly have, throughout our time on earth. And knowing this ultimate yet simply truth, shouldn't we all do all we can to enhance our life experiences? It is true that what is good for you will be good for me. Disregarding context. Eg: Vitamin C is good for you, and it will be for me. Laughter is good for you, and it will be for me. For all good that you return to the society, it affects the others, and in turn affects the others again.

When equipped with the true essence of power, one can feel unwavered. Needless to say passing congruence tests. And by basing all interactions into a feedback loop which ends up in you asking yourself if it is beneficial to your emotional wellbeing, and aligning it to your true purpose and priority in your life..you get to see the "bigger picture".

Girl : hey, that shirt looks weird on you!
You : Thanks, that's one of the worse compliments i've gotten. you are so cute, you dun really
give compliments eh? Let me buy you some chocolates! (You disregard her comments, cos you know it isn't congruent. And she is coming from a point of "force", to get to you return an opposing force (react). and you don't, instead you became real weirdly friendly..and it doesnt make sense. (you arent always able to handle the opposing force which comes your way).

The point isn't about the
exact words you use, but the idea and motive behind those words.

Think about it,

With love,
Gate

Why most Singaporean men do not smile.

This post is gonna be a really short one. But it identifies the main screw up
most Singapore guys have, and will always have if they have no friggin consciousness to
know what they are doing wrong.

SMILE

Too many technical analysis in your head, and you find yourself not smiling. And even if you're smiling, it looks fake and weak.

Given the many crazy adventures we have had during our night out with clients, this has been proven many a time to be TRUE.

The successful ones smile a lot. I mean hey, let's get down to the basic fundamentals man. No amount of theoretical knowledge is gonna help you if you ain't know how to smile nicely.

Just how potent can a smile be, with regards to adding any value to the whole interaction with women?

You lead, they follow. It's an unconscious thing man. Picture yourself talking to
someone with screwed up energy level, restless and shits. Man, i'm sure you'll
feel screwed up as well. Like, "yucks...wtf is this? I need to get away ..fast!"
It's the same for smiling man. You smile, you're happy, and soon enough she'll
be smiling too. I can't guarantee that she's gonna respond immediately...that
really depends on whether you're as cute as me. ROFL. I'm attached. So ..yea. =)

It really depends on your delivery and bodylanguage though. Lead the
emotions, and she will feel it, and in turn follow.

And of course, you smile with limits. You don't start smiling like a weirdo. A casual non threatening, chill, have fun kinda smile. And in the event that you do meet any uptight women who probably might threaten to rip your manly balls of you when you smile at them, walk away. It happens. Give them the benefit of the doubt. They probably ahd a bad bad day. Smile at other people who looks less threatening. Strike up a conversation. "Hey, i saw you and i thought you look friendly. My name is.." You get the drift. Have some value in who you approach and talk to. And in turn, you'll realise you're building a very respectful bunch of friends.

SMILE SMILE SMILE.

Experiment with it.

Truth is, many people don't smile.

Anxiety and a new perspective towards taking care of it.

Many of us prolly might have experienced anxiety before. What kinda anxiety? You know. That tingling-heart pumping-breathless feeling you get when you fancy a cute girl, and found it so darn hard to just go up and say hi. It is normal. If anyone would tell me straight in my face : "Oh i never have anxiety", i prolly wouldn't take him seriously. I had, and still have. Yes, i'm pretty darn honest. And im fine with it. What's different is prolly the different ways we tackle this issue. Some experienced it, and crawled back to their shells and start comforting themselves....some, the better ones..tend to recognise it, and just go through the motions. Walk up. "Hi, how are you?" Some guys even have anxiety while talking to a fellow male. Before you even call him a chump and start laughing hysterically at him...think. What rights do you have to make this judgement about him? You have no rights. It is normal. Throughout these years, i have experienced several incredible growth spurts. I wouldn't say all of them are good or bad..but i prolly wouldn't change anyone of them if i were given a chance. And i proly wouldn't consider myself any different from many guys out there. In terms of individual thinking, yes. But that is just it. Sometimes, i am impressed by my past clients for example Ryan. I learnt alot from just watching him transformed. Lesson i got out of this?

PEOPLE ARE ALWAYS IN THEIR OWN HEADS.

People allow themselves limitations. And you can never be too sure of anything. Because things change..as experience comes in. Be sure of yourself now, in this present moment. Because this is the time you have complete control. This article i am churning out now isn't a complete "cure". No..it is simply just a new perspective ...a signpost...to lead us to our individual purpose in life. What guy A gets out of this material is different from what guy B does. The first time i saw him, he was quiet and reserved. What people might call an "afc". But not in the eyes of mine. He had reservations about his life situations. Progress is tough. But guess what..i look at him now, he is a complete changed man. Maybe not all that sanely...but at least he had made very impressive progress. Go to him for humour lessons. I can vouch for that. =) So much for stories..lol..lets go on to the meat of this article.I do not know how you view anxiety..and i am not going to put a price on it. However, this is how i currently see it..as it is.....

Anxiety isn't a bad thing afterall. Some people say to view it as adrenaline..and "just know it is a good feeling" ..then you are able to remove negative thoughts and just do it. Well, good idea..but doesn't work for me. Have to find out what works for YOU. Not everybody. I view anxiety as spark pugs for growth. Take this analogy...anxiety is like bodybuilding. Each and everytime you lift weights, you are in actual fact breaking down your muscles, and matter of fact, they are going through a stage of atrophy. They are getting smaller. But guess what? It starts growing almost compoundingly..as you start eating right, sleeping enough...and training more...and the cycle goes on. It gets bigger and bigger. So anxiety can be viewed similarly. With anxiety..it is giving you a "push" to go do an approach..and who cares if you crash and burn? Who cares if you got rejected. It doesn't matter. What is in fact happening is this. Each and everytime you get your reality shattered, you grow. YES.EACH AND EVERYTIME YOU GET YOUR REALITY SHATTERED, YOU GROW.

I hope this article provides some kinda value to you guys out there.

Baiting.

What exactly is baiting? Baiting is, to me, throwing in a very subtle sort of communication 'lure' so that the girl will eventually eat it up and respond. I take it one step further, and plant in the curiosity before moving it away so it doesn't seem as obvious.

A few examples.

I like girls who like kissing. Damn what's that song?
I love it when something meant to be eaten can taste so sensual. Nice ring btw.
Its amazing how we can go to a club and talk to complete strangers. Oh my god would you date someone like that? *points*

The usefulness of this conversational strategy cannot be overstated. It can be applied in so many ways, and more often than not even if the girl doesn't bite the bait it will still leave a certain imprint in her mind. That can only be a good thing.

You can use this to say anything, express anything, let her know whatever you want her to know.