Our new singapore dating service website!

Our new Singapore dating service website!

Hey guys,

Just a head up for you all out there, we have move to a new website and it's called www.modernman.sg.

Do check out free coaching session on our website on how you can get a 1 on 1 coaching session with me. Where I'll go through with you step by step on how you can improve your dating life and get more dates.

Love,
Gate.

Using your powers to date and attract women wisely.

I was watching the tyra banks show on tv. It was a pretty damn drama situation. They put a loving couple to a test on their relationship..by allowing both of them to go on a date with another person for 24 hours. Can you believe they had the whole camera crew shooting the whole date? Gee.

It was pretty nerve wrecking just watching it. The girl was displaying terrible integrity while on a date with another dude. Spouting stuffs that were painful to even listen. Even if i'm not her boyfriend...man...it was painful.

"Never had a date before while with my boyfriend"... - bullshit? I think so.

And on the other side of the picture, the guy too...did some no-no stuffs. Holdiong hands, smelling his date's neck...well.

But what the hell is that about in the first place? 2 insecure people in a relationship? It's good publicity and good tv show by the way...given that people love drama..but that was just plain stupid. It was horrible conditioning. Hidden messages that people have a lack of honesty was all over the place. Planting negative thoughts into people's minds? Damn.

I forced myself to follow through with the show...

Everything looked pretty damn bad. It was tv show ..true... but the message that audiences received just by watching it was damaging enough.

80% of the audiences were females.

Rebuttal time.

Female lead had massive validation on her excuses on why she did this and that..although it obviously looked and was not right. Male lead was brutally slashed when he escalated physical contact on his date. Female lead was given ample time to explain her actions while male lead was immediately interrupted and cut off by tyra banks on his explainations.

Equality? I think not.

I felt bad for him. He had no other way to justify his actions. He had nowhere to go. And before you know it...oil was added onto the fire.

Interview time!

Audiences were invited upfront to give their comments on whether the female lead should continue her relationship with the male lead.

Audiences invited were all females. NO males.

All said "He doesn't deserve you".

OUCH. The male lead was slammed mercilessly. Poor dude.

In the very first place..nobody should have any say or any authority to comment or justify a relationship. BUT YOU.

YOU ARE IN CONTROL. Do not let other people tell you what you should do. Whether you should break up with him or her. If you ain't even sure of it yourself, what makes you think an outsider is?

It is very sad to see people letting others control their life situations. Let me tell you. That is not wise at all.

It is as if a negative molecules wants to see a neutral molecule turn negative...so they can form an atom.

The scary part about that show was really this...................

"Female audiences rooting for female lead to breakup with boyfriend. Audiences were cheering with wide smiles drawn across their faces"

What a terrible dysfunction!

It was really this....People placing their happiness on other peoples sadness.

OUCH. Stop that. They don't know what is good for you. You know.

And having such dating skills being so mainstream....many people have misused their ability.

With great power comes greater responsibilities.


I've seen people who misused their powers and go around breaking up relationships. And ultimately stroking their ego so that they feel so much more better after doing a bad deed...by saying to themselves....

"I know i am a better man for her. Her current boyfriend is a chump. She won't be happy. Let me show her what she is missing"


YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO DO SO.

What makes you think you have? You don't know. True enough, the girl's boyfriend may not be as influential or outgoing as you. True enough, on comparison if i place you both on a weighing scale..you will come out top. But that still does not give you any power to break up a relationship.

Don't get me wrong here. It is ultimately fine to have a healthy self esteem by knowing that you are a great guy that can give any woman a great time. But it is not right to use this affirmation as a reason to allow you to spring into action by being the "Haha-Im -Going-To-Snatch-The-Girl-From-The-Boyfriend guy". Because you don't know. You have no rights.

If you look at it from a bigger picture..why do you even need to get the girl who is already in a relationship? Deep down...is it just another ego boost to your mental concept of yourself as a "sexworthy guy"? If she really hates being in the relationship she's in...and is dying to get out of it....she will tell you. But it is of no proper moral tothe situatio even escalate n just because you know you are a great guy.. and can "give her a great time that her current boyfriend can't". \

Don't tell me things about "If the relationship if going well, she wont cheat". That is simply a lame excuse again for your stupid ego to escalate and get the girl.

What i'm talking about here is...you have no rights to determine her happiness..and his happiness. If you are even in the process...or utilising any single "tactics" to try to get the girl...you know you have crossed the line.



Again....YOU HAVE NO RIGHTS.


My stand has always been the same. I'll never touch a girl who is attached. And i know when to draw the line. And i have another new found friend.

The distribution of power has since become a get-the-girl kind thing...and not about self-improvement and communication skills anymore..


I am deeply saddened...


Power has to be balanced....It will only serve to ruin you one day...if you ain't know how to use it.

4 Guys and 1 Girl

I was in the train today, on my way to an awesome day out. The weather was great. No newpaper, no magazine...i allowed my vision to wander about the freezing cabin, hoping to spot something interesting. No luck.

On to my games in my cell phone..i went on enjoying my little time alone. I was a little distracted when a group of students boarded the train. As usual, loud and seemingly "cool", with tapered pants and huge earphones. .

4 guys, 1 girl. I could easily understand the dynamics of this small little group, just from one glance. 1 attention seeking girl, 4 needy guys. OUCH. Not really healthy. lol. It wasn't until one hokey pokey cool guy made his move..that i felt utterly nauseous. No offence..but i really did. With overcompensating non-verbal cues, and ridiculously meaningless questions...he went on a live firing rampage. Yea...i could see what was goin on.

Guy: Hey, why do you only wear one earphone?
Girl: So im able to listen to my music and know what you guys talk about at the same time.
Guy: Oh, is that nice?
Girl: i duno. hehehehee.

I mean..seriously... as much as i tried to mind my own business, i have this huge inclination to just watch behind my shades and anticipate their next moves. And i'm pretty darn good at that. ROFL. It ended up with the guys fighting to be a hero and bashing one another down and the girl acting weirdly..doing overly compensating actions to ask for attention. It was utterly unsightly.

Can't blame them though. We all came from the same piece of cloth..but until you are unplugged...like "neo" in the matrix..you will forever be like that.

Look, when you are talking to a girl, your mind is moving rapidly...just like a loop. You're always thinking of what to say. If your standards of interaction relates to what you read in romance novels...or even television programmes...there's a very high chance that you will never get the results you want. Televisions are simply...fictional. And most of us who are constantly watching tv programmes, drama etc, are in fact being socially conditioned in a way that society is telling us what we should be doing or should look like.

There will always be a difference in the reality of a scientist and an average joe. What's the difference? It's the information that is constantly being fed into the mind. The scientist analyses..the scientist debates...the scientist experiments..and the results from all these creates his reality of how he views things. However, an average joe is constantly being programmed by the media..by his boss..and bla bla bla....step out of the rat race, step out of conditioning...

Explore various portal of thoughts...you will find it intriguing..

Love,
Gate

Amazing how things change.

It's amazing.

I was walking back from supper and I spotted a cute girl with her boyfriend (apparently) from a distance away.

The first thought that crossed my mind was: "She may not be happy in that relationship."

The next was: "Wow.. 8 years ago I would have thought otherwise."

Now, I'm not saying that it's a good way to think, but it's literally universes apart from how most people would see things, given the same situation, isn't it?

Typical thought-pattern of convention thinking:

"Oh she's attached.. .too bad."
"She has a boyfriend.. forget it, what's the use of even trying?"

And so it ends there... or does it?

Let's just say my point-of-view opens up a whole new world of possibilities. In that instance I could decide to find out if she's happy with her current situation.

Instead of "too bad", I wondered "what if she isn't happy?".

So it came to the conclusion that people do and can change. It just takes time, effort and the willingness to.

Inner game takes a long time for most people. Guys in this community often encourage the development of both outer and inner game. They compliment each other.

Sitting at home reading 10 hours of self-improvement books won't help if you don't get out there and experience it first hand.

Going out there with no technique, adequate skills nor the appropriate mindset for 10 hours will only teach you what not to do the next time, and perhaps if you're lucky, you find something that works. Worse if you never learn from your mistakes.

Do both. Join our theory classes and our In field classes where we meet women together in real life situations.

Life is always good. Be a great guy.

Success with Women, are you ready for it?

Are you ready for this?
Are you ready to take the plunge?
Are you ready to go on this awesome self improvement journey?
Are you ready to kill your former self and completely remould your character?

ARE YOU READY?

Well, I've heard all sorts of replies ranging from the most enthusiastic "YES" to the most apprehensive "Uh... I dunno"

Nobody ever said this is going to be easy, neither did anyone say that it will be smooth sailing. It happens for a good reason. This journey, is going to be TOUGH.

Your mettle is gonna be tested time and again.
Your ego is gonna be smashed into pieces so brittle you'll lose sight of it.
Your friends, some of them, are going to scorn you for actually taking the step they have been running away from.
Your confidence will be brought down to levels and depths of an all time low.
Your discipline to keep going will be ruthlessly questioned.
YOU, are going to be smacked and bashed so many times, you will give it up if you are any lesser of a man than this demands.

Now before you take on this journey, I want you to ask yourself this question, with the above statements thrown in. If you are ready, if you are willing, then let me welcome you to this world, and the kind of things you can achieve.

You will be able to experience life and see things through eyes you never knew you possessed.
You will be able to walk through life with so smooth a swagger you will command the world.
You will have the ability to make heads turn just by simply walking into a room.
You will have so many more options in life you'll be spoilt for choice.
You'll never have to worry about the lack of female company in your life.
You will be the man women want.
You will be the man other men want to be.
You, will be, THE MAN.

Will you be afraid of the sacrifices you have to make and back out of it?
Will you take the first step but cower in fear of the things you have to break out of?
Will you refuse to budge from your comfort zone, knowing you have that bit of success and remain ever so desperate to cling onto it?
Will you take the step, take the plunge, and emerge a new man?

Which of the above 4 would be the question that pertains to you?

Think it through.

Why most Singaporean men do not smile.

This post is gonna be a really short one. But it identifies the main screw up
most Singapore guys have, and will always have if they have no friggin consciousness to
know what they are doing wrong.

SMILE

Too many technical analysis in your head, and you find yourself not smiling. And even if you're smiling, it looks fake and weak.

Given the many crazy adventures we have had during our night out with clients, this has been proven many a time to be TRUE.

The successful ones smile a lot. I mean hey, let's get down to the basic fundamentals man. No amount of theoretical knowledge is gonna help you if you ain't know how to smile nicely.

Just how potent can a smile be, with regards to adding any value to the whole interaction with women?

You lead, they follow. It's an unconscious thing man. Picture yourself talking to
someone with screwed up energy level, restless and shits. Man, i'm sure you'll
feel screwed up as well. Like, "yucks...wtf is this? I need to get away ..fast!"
It's the same for smiling man. You smile, you're happy, and soon enough she'll
be smiling too. I can't guarantee that she's gonna respond immediately...that
really depends on whether you're as cute as me. ROFL. I'm attached. So ..yea. =)

It really depends on your delivery and bodylanguage though. Lead the
emotions, and she will feel it, and in turn follow.

And of course, you smile with limits. You don't start smiling like a weirdo. A casual non threatening, chill, have fun kinda smile. And in the event that you do meet any uptight women who probably might threaten to rip your manly balls of you when you smile at them, walk away. It happens. Give them the benefit of the doubt. They probably ahd a bad bad day. Smile at other people who looks less threatening. Strike up a conversation. "Hey, i saw you and i thought you look friendly. My name is.." You get the drift. Have some value in who you approach and talk to. And in turn, you'll realise you're building a very respectful bunch of friends.

SMILE SMILE SMILE.

Experiment with it.

Truth is, many people don't smile.

Anxiety and a new perspective towards taking care of it.

Many of us prolly might have experienced anxiety before. What kinda anxiety? You know. That tingling-heart pumping-breathless feeling you get when you fancy a cute girl, and found it so darn hard to just go up and say hi. It is normal. If anyone would tell me straight in my face : "Oh i never have anxiety", i prolly wouldn't take him seriously. I had, and still have. Yes, i'm pretty darn honest. And im fine with it. What's different is prolly the different ways we tackle this issue. Some experienced it, and crawled back to their shells and start comforting themselves....some, the better ones..tend to recognise it, and just go through the motions. Walk up. "Hi, how are you?" Some guys even have anxiety while talking to a fellow male. Before you even call him a chump and start laughing hysterically at him...think. What rights do you have to make this judgement about him? You have no rights. It is normal. Throughout these years, i have experienced several incredible growth spurts. I wouldn't say all of them are good or bad..but i prolly wouldn't change anyone of them if i were given a chance. And i proly wouldn't consider myself any different from many guys out there. In terms of individual thinking, yes. But that is just it. Sometimes, i am impressed by my past clients for example Ryan. I learnt alot from just watching him transformed. Lesson i got out of this?

PEOPLE ARE ALWAYS IN THEIR OWN HEADS.

People allow themselves limitations. And you can never be too sure of anything. Because things change..as experience comes in. Be sure of yourself now, in this present moment. Because this is the time you have complete control. This article i am churning out now isn't a complete "cure". No..it is simply just a new perspective ...a signpost...to lead us to our individual purpose in life. What guy A gets out of this material is different from what guy B does. The first time i saw him, he was quiet and reserved. What people might call an "afc". But not in the eyes of mine. He had reservations about his life situations. Progress is tough. But guess what..i look at him now, he is a complete changed man. Maybe not all that sanely...but at least he had made very impressive progress. Go to him for humour lessons. I can vouch for that. =) So much for stories..lol..lets go on to the meat of this article.I do not know how you view anxiety..and i am not going to put a price on it. However, this is how i currently see it..as it is.....

Anxiety isn't a bad thing afterall. Some people say to view it as adrenaline..and "just know it is a good feeling" ..then you are able to remove negative thoughts and just do it. Well, good idea..but doesn't work for me. Have to find out what works for YOU. Not everybody. I view anxiety as spark pugs for growth. Take this analogy...anxiety is like bodybuilding. Each and everytime you lift weights, you are in actual fact breaking down your muscles, and matter of fact, they are going through a stage of atrophy. They are getting smaller. But guess what? It starts growing almost compoundingly..as you start eating right, sleeping enough...and training more...and the cycle goes on. It gets bigger and bigger. So anxiety can be viewed similarly. With anxiety..it is giving you a "push" to go do an approach..and who cares if you crash and burn? Who cares if you got rejected. It doesn't matter. What is in fact happening is this. Each and everytime you get your reality shattered, you grow. YES.EACH AND EVERYTIME YOU GET YOUR REALITY SHATTERED, YOU GROW.

I hope this article provides some kinda value to you guys out there.

Baiting.

What exactly is baiting? Baiting is, to me, throwing in a very subtle sort of communication 'lure' so that the girl will eventually eat it up and respond. I take it one step further, and plant in the curiosity before moving it away so it doesn't seem as obvious.

A few examples.

I like girls who like kissing. Damn what's that song?
I love it when something meant to be eaten can taste so sensual. Nice ring btw.
Its amazing how we can go to a club and talk to complete strangers. Oh my god would you date someone like that? *points*

The usefulness of this conversational strategy cannot be overstated. It can be applied in so many ways, and more often than not even if the girl doesn't bite the bait it will still leave a certain imprint in her mind. That can only be a good thing.

You can use this to say anything, express anything, let her know whatever you want her to know.

What If?

What if she reject me?
What if she doesn't respond?
What if she say fuck off?
What if she slap me?
What if her friends drag her away?
What if she have a boyfriend?
What if she's lesbian?

Sounds familiar? Yes, the above thoughts, not exhaustive by any means, is what is usually going through guys when they are approaching women in Singapore. The fear of the approach and is known as approach anxiety.

Approach Anxiety.

Did the above 2 words just freak you out? If it did, don't worry, it normal.

Everyone get approach anxiety. EVERY LIVING BREATHING HUMAN. GIRLS INCLUDED

See, even guys who are successful with women get approach anxiety.

Whats the difference between the guy who is successful and the guys who not?

A guy who not successful with women let approach anxiety overcome him and stay in his little corner in a club, do nothing all night, and feel like shit.

A ladies men can think to himself "Fuck this shit, I'm going in". and get rejected, and subsequently get the number of the next 5 approaches he open.

Think about it.

Approach without thinking and the Alpha Male.

One of the things why guys in Singapore fail to be successful with women is they think too much sometime. They plan, go out, approach women, sit down, breakdown the approach they did, then? Well, sad to say, I am guilty of that too. I've been through that phrase and at time it still happen, but I've since hone the ability to detect any signs of this bad habit popping up and have learn and still is learning how to control it. It is scary how the human mind can screw you up so badly, even before any action is taken. "Oh , she's gonna be a bitch, and shoot me down, and I'm gonna feel so terrible and embarrassed, and then people around me will notice and start gossiping, I can't do this...no!" I've been there in fact countless of time...so I can feel you. The fact is...you will meet people like that...and the solution is, not to take it personally. She might had a pretty bad day at work...or might just be another low self esteem girl.

Be social! This is NOT the 'evil art of seduction', you are going out in the field to have fun, be yourself, hang out and add value to the people around you. Whether you bang a girl or get a number is secondary. If it happen, it happen but it WILL NOT affect your state of being. You still gonna enjoy yourself even if you don't get laid. But if you are going out purely to get numbers or get laid, Women will detect that attitude from a mile away and it's an instant turn off.

I hate to hang out with guys who can't stop it. "Hey, there's 3 girls..open! Sarge!" "Why didn't you approach?" "What time are we going to start sarging, and until what time?" DUDE, WAKE UP. Just freaking hang out and have fun. When you reiterate stuff like that, you are killing yourself. Approach anxiety starts flowing like water. You now have the skills...use it to interact with people. If you've done it smoothly...the number will come. Process over outcome. You will never get blown out. You are just a friendly guy, talking to people and if uptight people shut you off...they are socially retarded. Why give meaning to blow outs like that?

When learning this skill set, many will try to be what they call the alpha. But guess what? Many do not know what a true alpha really is. True alpha males are rare. True alpha males are perhaps those 5 percent of male in the club with girls around them all the time. Alpha males give without expecting anything in return, they are just plain 'cool', they don't go around buying girls drinks or beg for their phone number. Alpha males create comfortable vibes, they create a warm happy playpen for the women to wander around in. Alpha male don't supplicate, but they treat women as equals and get the same in return. Women will compete for those men, women will work for these men. They are emotionally wired to do so. They will even leave their boyfriend just to hang out with them. They will dump him or hide him or do whatever it takes to align with the alpha male. Aren't they horrible evil sluts for doing so? The answer is NO. Look...they don't have a choice, women are programmed to align with alpha males just like men are programmed to sleep with women. Women love the true alpha males and want to be 'Pick Up'. If you pull this off right, then literally every women you approach will love your presence and your energy. They feel honored to be hanging out with you. The direction of your interaction is up to you and her. It will take some time for you to cease being surprised when you find women want far different things than what you formerly thought they wanted. Remember, that most women are with beta men because that is all they can get. If you are an alpha male who won't deceive her about your intentions then you are doing her a huge favor by introducing yourself into her life. All of the women I date know that I see other women and they don't mind because they would still rather be with me than pretending to be happy with some beta boyfriend.

Sign up for our courses right now and learn what it take to be a true alpha male. For more information check out website www.datingskilset.com


With love,
Gate

Presence, the secret attraction tool.

Everyone looks the same. Everyone acts the same. Even if you are dress really well, you still look the same...which of course varies to the individual 3rd party view. How do you differentiate yourself? I do not advocate teaching people powerful routines to carry off a complete pick up. Develop your personality first, then add in those routines. Take it right here, if you are a empty vessel, routines are just gonna be useless. Yes, you can be completely flawless by throwing routines after rountines..great..if that's what you are doing..then I'm happy for you. However, I know...that deep down...deep down when you are alone, in your room...you mind starts running. Just like the same old feelings that hurts so much, that pierce your heart, that breathless moment...that point of time during your childhood that you felt your parents love your sibling more then they love you. Nothing helps. More routines can never take the permanent scar away. You have to love yourself. Accept the presence given to you. You, like me is going to start from scratch, spend time and effort building the life you, like me love. You, like me enjoy.

Be it wherever you are, your presence is the strongest being in the world. You presence is what creates your reality. Presence is directly proportionate to consciousness, and consciousness is directly proportionate to forming your own world, which is also directly proportionate to forming the bubble around you that protects you from the shit test by the cougars out there. The fact that they are all interlink, only proves that in whatever you do, you have to start from scratch and start with the root. Think about it...we'll talk soon when I'm back from my trip to Taiwan.

Your Friend,
Gate

The Angina Opener!

Here a conversation piece you guys can use to start a conversation with the girls. It called the Angina opener.

Me: Hey guys, help me out here. I'm supposedly the best in English amongst my friends.
Girls:Uh....
Me: What an angina?

That's all

It piques their curiosity and there are endless opportunities for playful teasing when they answer. Due to the nature of how it is pronounce and spell but in actual fact angina is a severe chest pain. Most girls will tend to associate it with some sort of a dirty meaning to the word and that is when you tease them.

Loving Women. An Artform

You probably have encounter them. You probably have had your balls shattered by them. You probably feared them. Or you may be the lucky one, to love them and be loved by them in return.

Seriously...girls are humans after all. Besides the fact that most of them have been brainwashed by agony gurus...they are loving creatures. Before I even continue...

First things first: Never take things personally.

Girls are beautiful creatures beaming with emotional energy. They are cute. They make your life pretty and bouncy. Picture barney and the purple dinosaur. Yes...this is the exactly feeling that you should get when you interact with a girl. Appreciate their emotional ups and downs, accept the fact that they are who they are. And what they are, EMOTIONAL creatures. Don't ever try to change them. Without them, you are never alive. Love them with all you can.

With so much talk about loving them. How do we actually go about doing it? You might be experienced uptight girls, suspicious ones who go: "get a better pickup line!" When you genuinely want directions to the nearest gents...you might even have experience with fickle minded ones who go: "I feel so confused, I think I am just not ready for you love", when you shower her with all the affection she said she wanted Confused ? Don't be.

Accept the way things are. Matter of fact, men and women are build differently. Women can never understand men, and men can never understand women...unless they both decide to take on the journey of learning about the opposite sex, and dwell deeply into evolution psychology. Women don't want what they say they want. You have to be able to the codes. When i talk about love, I am not talking about obsession, needing , or even an outcome. Loving girls is non-judgemental and patient. It's about appreciation of her famine being, and whatever she feels like being right now. Whatever her mood is. Look at women for who they really are. Symphatise on a deep level with what they have to go through. Understand that they have to deal with wild and random emotions and mood swings, and they can't just trust any guy that comes up to them. Appreciate their imperfection and funny antics. When they sit down with you and spit out random illogical stuff stuffs, listen to them...understand that it is part of their emotional circuitry.

Women are fun people. Tickle them. Play with them. Go crazy. Nobody says you have to be all so serious faced with them...and talk serious subjects. After all, life is a fun process.

For guys out there...to sum it all, girls want a men who is able to lead and live life with purpose.

The next time you decide to get all upset and affected when faced with shit that girls throw at you...don't be. The only person who has the power to affect your emotions is YOU. The next time you decide to get involved in an argument with a women, STOP. You can never win.

We at datingskillset have always taken on the mindset that girls are awesome. You should too! They are lovely people with a myriad of emotions. Even to the point where we happen to meet an unstable and uptight one...who do not hesitate to "castrate" us mentally and emotionally...we just shrug it off. Never will you become overly protective of yourself, become violent or verbally aggressive. I have seen tons of guys acting this way. Sadly...some were grown adults. We man, have a part to play in every interaction with girls. It is obviously a balance of the sex. It is what I call value ping.

Always be friendly. Uptight people will lead an uptight life. Well, if you find this post intriguing...yes, thanks...after all, men like us are rare.

A Sneak Peek On Our Dating Courses!

Here's a sneak peek into exactly what kind of stuff we talk about in our Approach Courses ( The Day Approach & Night Approach).

What exactly is attractive to women? what is it about certain man that makes them so irresistible to women? Have you ever had a friend who walks into a party, socializes with everyone, and then later you hear " oh my god he's so charming, he's so attractive, he's so funny".

It all boils down to one thing communication. It all about how you package your values, ideals, qualities, and communicate it across to others. If your values, ideals are strong enough, they will want it. It's a lot like sales, but nothing like sales. You do not want to appear like you're trying when you are. You do not want to appear like you want their attention when you do.

Make sense? It shouldn't. What you are about to learn is the answer to everything here that i just posed. Be prepared for change. HUGE changes. You will get some of your beliefs shattered, and make damn sure you will be taken aback by some of the radical ideals that are directly against the societal norm.

You are not here for a quick fix solutions. You are not here to look for some simple solution to problems you have faced all your life. You are not here, for only learning how to pick up women. You are here for learning how to build a new life. A new way of leading life. A new way of getting your thoughts across and having them accepted.

PS: Do Check our website www.modernman.sg for more information on the Approach Courses.

A New You.

Get Ready.

Directionless.

I recently had a conversation with a chump friend who approached me for dating advice. After giving him the crash course, i got this.

"aite... aiyah...if it happens it happens... I not that gian for a relationship now."

THAT, is completely retarded.

Having directions in life is so crucial, no would get anywhere with out it. The process is the juice, we all know it, but we at least have to know what are the results.

Emphasizing it too much or too little is another question all together.

If you do not know what you want to achieve at work, you'll will never achieve anything.
If you do not know what you want out of school, you'll will leave school with nothing.
If you do not know where you want to be as a human, you're as good as dead.
If you 're gonna leave it to chance, you chance will never come.

Luck is achieved by those who create and actively seek out opportunities for LUCK to be present.

A directionless person is even worse than the chumps at a club's dance floor hoping to get lucky. At least the chumps are doing something, albeit doing it the wrong way.

Before anyone wants to take on the journey of learning the arts, think this is hard and think it through. Do you have what it takes?

We all do as a matter of fact , but how far are you willing to go to get your desired results?

How much efforts are you going to put in? Are you going to be another one of those who only wants to read about others males, other SUPERIORS MALES, knowing damn well that it is achievable, but NOT DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT?

If you belong to the category of people I just mentioned. I have two golden words for you.

FUCK

OFF

But if you want to sincerely change, like some of the clients I've have an immense amount of pleasure working with , approach us by all means.

I will help you to be successful with the girls, if you're willing to be helped.

I can only give you the tools and guidance necessary, we can't force you to do it at gunpoint.

Not that I'd waste the time doing that, really.

Growth.

Each purpose, each mission, is meant to be fully lived to the point where it becomes empty, boring, useless. Then it should be discarded. This is a sign of growth, but you may mistake it for a sign of failure.

I am not going to post any stuff on routines or regular material that can be easily researched. Any aspiring PUA wannabe can learn tons and tons of routines...as you may know...they are just training wheels..to lead you to the door of calibration. I want you guys to ponder over those words above..for those who get it...a small little sentence could well become a spark plug for your evolution.

Many guys will often encounter a phase in their journey towards getting successful with women. And this phrase, whether you acknowledge or not...it gonna look you in the eye..one fine day..when you least expects..and tell you.."Hey, you are getting tired ..and you have been approaching so much..yes..you may have some mediocre successes..some number closes...and you're now able to open sets easily and carry off an interesting conversation..so, what now? It's so freaking boring and you know it..to keep doing it again and again...It's useless.." And when you start to feel this sense of emptiness and boredom in you..you say to yourself..."This journey is tough as shit...I wouldn't be like the best guys... and all i can do is number close..and then expect flakes from the women. I'm useless...maybe I should do something else." Man, guys...now go back up and look at that phrase again.....do you see it? It's telling you...you've basted through you limits.. it time to move on...learn something new...add some new values to your life...I'm gonna tell you to be really selfish here....DO IMPROVE YOURSELF NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS. FUCK EVERYTHING THAT STOPS YOU. LEARN THE WAY OF ACCEPTING WHAT IS..AND LEARN TO SURRENDER TO THE CURRENT MOMENT...(i know it tough, but you have to do it. YOU HAVE TO BE A MAN ABOUT THIS ) AND GIVE LOVE TO THE PEOPLE WHO CROSSES PATH IN YOUR LIFE GENEROUSLY. There will be a time when you will be dealing with emotions face on. You will look emotions in the eye...and you will feel terrible....it is ok... it is ok to feel this way...it is ok to feel afc at times..but..what differate a man from a wimp.. " A real man feel terrible over a specific situation.. and he feel emotional about it...he feel afc-ish but he is able to identify this dysfunction..and start being aware of it..and fight it back..to break out of all this mind fuck he is giving himself and stand up again. He knows that when he do that..he is another level closer to his superiority. A wimp, feel terrible and drowns his sorrow in tears...constantly telling himself how painfully it feels and fails to identify the dysfunction...and carry on being a wimp. You do not need to be a superhero, you do need to cordon off all your fears and afc feeling away from you ....be aware that it is normal...but do stand up again...that's how you bust through plateaus.

How Do I Find The Energy To Approach?

Yeah, it's one the biggest problems guys are facing. We are have a life, we all have a day job, we all have to WORK (or study).

Lots of people would go " how am I am supposed to approach and meet new people when I've just work 8 hours?" or the likes.

Well, how do we go about getting that energy and positive vibe back after a gruelling 8 hours of enduring irritating colleagues, over demanding bosses, and down right retarded customers?

My answer to this: You don't. Quoted from an awesome PUA whose name I don't remember ( sorry bro, lol. Let me know if you see this, I'll credit you),

"Pickup doesn't start the moment you enter the club, It's start the moment you open your eyes."
You want to feel good all the time and not just when you are approaching women but on a daily basis. Get that postive energy and vibe everyday!

Here a simple exercise you can do to make yourself feel better. Here how it done.

The moment you wake up , close your eyes and clear your thoughts.
Keep telling yourself: I'm positive, full of life, fun and interesting.
Now picture that sentence in you, in the middle of you.
Once you feel the vibe, locate it's centre, it's gonna be right in the middle of the words.
Imagine the words expanding , filling your insides, filling your whole body.
See the words in you, feel the vibe in you, feel it expanding , feel it taking over and influencing every little micro-organism in you.
Now that it's at it peak, imagine it EXPLODING. Like BAM!

Open your eyes and you'll feel like you've clinched a million dollar deal, bang a hot chick, and in the process got a promotion to the position your most hated boss used to hold on to.

If you do this everyday, you'll begin the day in an extremely positive manner. Talk to everyone, be nice to them, say hi to your neighbours in the lift, say hi to that poor ugly colleague whom nobody talk to.

You rule, it's your world.

Take it over.

How Do I Start A Conversation?

Yes, the number one question for all the guys that is just starting out.

The moment you think about how to open (start a conversation), the women SMELLS it. The moment you look in their direction like you're churning your brain juices thinking of how to open, they SMELLS it. The moment you ASK the mentor/PUA/Instructor beside you how to open, they SMELLS it.

A lot of guys starting out put way too much thought into an opener, An opener is not meant to attract, it is not meant to seduce, it is not meant to build value ( although i usually have value via, pre-selection, body language and tonality).

It is used, to open. It doesn't and shouldn't last more than a minute.

More often than not , the opener DOES NOT MATTER. It is how your handle the responses.

I do not go " OMG WHAT A HOT GIRL HOW DO I OPEN". I go " Hi guys , do you happen to know what is an angina?

It could also be as simple as "Hi, how are you" or as cheeky as "Hey you are kinda cute but I'm cuter."

The point is , stop thinking about how to open. OPEN FOR GOD'S SAKE. Women move, they are human, they might wanna dance, they might wanna leave, they might even get picked up by a PUA who doesn't waste 15 minute thinking about opening and getting rejected in the process. He just be in moment and have a great time.

If you really, really need help, open another women. Open the girls right beside you, right beside them, whatever. Take note though, this can, and will waste 15 minute of the time where you got could've been building major rapport and attraction with your target.

Process Over Outcome, Do you really understand?

Well, So much has been said about process over outcome. It seems like another philosophy that is being passed down from old age sages, and further pre-packaged into new found enlightenment and thus being passed down again to individuals. However, how does all this intertwine with one another? It is all so easy to just go on and reiterate this powerful belief, hoping that it would skyrocket a person's progress towards succeeding with women in Singapore. Well, not exactly.

Am i messing with your head now?

Most people would go, "I don't get what you mean. How do you enjoy the process when you know the outcome might be an ugly one?" There's a lot of unwiring that needs to be done. And attempting to understand without experiencing is a definite no-brainer.

Enjoying the process, in this case communicating with the opposite sex is directly proportionate to your inner purpose. Your primary purpose is not concrete enough, you cannot enjoy the process. With a lot of guys out there who hit the clubs and the streets, i would say that they think their primary purpose is to polish their skills. I'm generalising here, so do bear with me. It is alright and nothing wrong. It probably is a social conditioning in the "PUA" kingdom". And most times, social conditioning creeps into you without you even knowing, If you are truly enjoying the process, you would not feel an inch of incongruency. Think aobut it. If in any case you feel incongruent in the field, uncomfy...or whatever...it is not your skills, or what you did, or what you said. It is your purpose. YOU GOT IT ALL MESS UP.

This is what most guys do:

Primary purpose ----> Polish up skillset

Secondary purpose ----> Enjoying a genuine interaction/making new friends
I'm not saying this is what you should do, or "do not". It's basically my interpretation of this issues. Beliefs change they are never a constant. If they were a constant, evolution probably can never take place. The face that the primary purpose of most guys is to polish their skills, creates a gaping hole in them which allows critisisms to take place. Criticisms can be rejections etc. And not many guys can learn from it the smart way.

Enjoying the process simply means enjoying the process. Nothing else. In order to do that, your attention and purpose has to be ONE. Your primary purpose allows your full attention to flow into your doing...and your secondary purpose is whatever you want to achieve through the doing. Which obviously is the outcome.

This is what i do:

Primary purose ----> Enjoying a genuine interaction/making new friends

Secondary Purpose ----> Polish up skill set

When you take a step, it is your primary purpose. And the destination is your secondary purpose. In many cases, me being guilty of it in the past, i was not really enjoying my interactions with people in the clubs and on the streets. I was desperately sourcing out for indicators of interest and what not. So i could further calibrate myself what a dumb ass i am and it does not mean you neglect what needs to be done on a practical level. It does not mean ignorance. In fact, the doing and process becomes much easier, when the dimensions of attention is acknowledges and so becomes primary . Quality requires attention. Sometimes when I'm whacked, i get shitty results in field. And its great that i have the ability to identify the dysfunction in me at that moment and immediately rectify the whole interaction. Every time was genuine. Nothing was memorized. And often guys asked "what did you say?" "How many indicator of interest did she give?". My answer I DON'T KNOW. It was fun. That's it. I figured a long time ago, that there are probably two ways for me to evolve my game.

1) Be an ass about dynamics, break it down like a robot and get good results, but in me i feel nauseous and burn out.

2) Follow my senses, purpose and enjoy the freaking process of getting to know another human being, sacrificing a little percentage of success rates. But feel congruent and genuine deep down. And even if the approach did not work out, it doesn't affect me.

I chose the second one. It was touch choice. The mental masturbation was terrible. But i recognise a fact. I am human.

Enjoying the processes, over destinations. After all aren't we all searching for that one thing? Happiness? Physical relationships are simply awesome by products of great interaction. It is not an end. By realizing that your entire life journey consists of the step you are taking at this moment. There is only this one step and so you will give your fullest attention to it. This doesn't mean you don't know where you are going. It just means this step is primary, the destination is secondary. What you encounter at your destination once you get there depends on the quality of this one step.

Grooming and Fashion

Grooming and fashion play an important part in being successful with women in Singapore and in other parts of Asia. Women notice your appearance. They judge it in a couple of seconds and they can tell if something is out place or just plain ugly. And because your dress sense and grooming convey an identity to women, in this post we will be talking about a few general guidelines for grooming and fashion.

Nails:
Keep your finger and toenails trimmed and neat. It's necessary to keep them trimmed, neat and free of dirt as women will notice it immediately. It communicates what kind of a person you are. Whether are you someone that is neat and is ale to take good care of himself.

Hair Style:
Get your hair cut at least once a month unless you are planning to keep your hair long. Always have your hair trimmed and neat. It important to get a good hair style that fits you. I'd suggest going to a expensive salon to get a free consultation, find out what would be the best hair style for your face shape and your hair type. And if your pockets are not blessed with deep pockets go to a cheaper salon to get it done.

Clothes:
Get a girl to go shopping with you, it one of the best things you can do. Women tend to have a better fashion sense compared to guys. Get their opinion and advice on what type of clothes look best on you and what kind of style will fit you. Get clothes that fit your frame and look. Read Fashion magazines on how to dress awesome and the latest trend in Singapore.

Shoes:
Women interpret how you will treat her by the condition of your shoes, believe it or not. So go out there and get some awesome shoes. I recommend getting shoes that are the same color as your belt. Unless you know what you are doing it better to get them the same color. Also bearing in mind you want to keep your shoes in good condition at all times and always polish it and get it cleaned up.

Accessories:
By putting on a few accessories that communicate who you are differentiates you out from every other guy in Singapore. Note: You don't want to put on too many accessories. You will be classified as a weird dude, that doesn't know what he's doing. Find accessories like rings, bracelet, watch, necklace that fits the style you are going for.