4 Guys and 1 Girl

I was in the train today, on my way to an awesome day out. The weather was great. No newpaper, no magazine...i allowed my vision to wander about the freezing cabin, hoping to spot something interesting. No luck.

On to my games in my cell phone..i went on enjoying my little time alone. I was a little distracted when a group of students boarded the train. As usual, loud and seemingly "cool", with tapered pants and huge earphones. .

4 guys, 1 girl. I could easily understand the dynamics of this small little group, just from one glance. 1 attention seeking girl, 4 needy guys. OUCH. Not really healthy. lol. It wasn't until one hokey pokey cool guy made his move..that i felt utterly nauseous. No offence..but i really did. With overcompensating non-verbal cues, and ridiculously meaningless questions...he went on a live firing rampage. Yea...i could see what was goin on.

Guy: Hey, why do you only wear one earphone?
Girl: So im able to listen to my music and know what you guys talk about at the same time.
Guy: Oh, is that nice?
Girl: i duno. hehehehee.

I mean..seriously... as much as i tried to mind my own business, i have this huge inclination to just watch behind my shades and anticipate their next moves. And i'm pretty darn good at that. ROFL. It ended up with the guys fighting to be a hero and bashing one another down and the girl acting weirdly..doing overly compensating actions to ask for attention. It was utterly unsightly.

Can't blame them though. We all came from the same piece of cloth..but until you are unplugged...like "neo" in the matrix..you will forever be like that.

Look, when you are talking to a girl, your mind is moving rapidly...just like a loop. You're always thinking of what to say. If your standards of interaction relates to what you read in romance novels...or even television programmes...there's a very high chance that you will never get the results you want. Televisions are simply...fictional. And most of us who are constantly watching tv programmes, drama etc, are in fact being socially conditioned in a way that society is telling us what we should be doing or should look like.

There will always be a difference in the reality of a scientist and an average joe. What's the difference? It's the information that is constantly being fed into the mind. The scientist analyses..the scientist debates...the scientist experiments..and the results from all these creates his reality of how he views things. However, an average joe is constantly being programmed by the media..by his boss..and bla bla bla....step out of the rat race, step out of conditioning...

Explore various portal of thoughts...you will find it intriguing..

Love,
Gate

Presence, the secret attraction tool.

Everyone looks the same. Everyone acts the same. Even if you are dress really well, you still look the same...which of course varies to the individual 3rd party view. How do you differentiate yourself? I do not advocate teaching people powerful routines to carry off a complete pick up. Develop your personality first, then add in those routines. Take it right here, if you are a empty vessel, routines are just gonna be useless. Yes, you can be completely flawless by throwing routines after rountines..great..if that's what you are doing..then I'm happy for you. However, I know...that deep down...deep down when you are alone, in your room...you mind starts running. Just like the same old feelings that hurts so much, that pierce your heart, that breathless moment...that point of time during your childhood that you felt your parents love your sibling more then they love you. Nothing helps. More routines can never take the permanent scar away. You have to love yourself. Accept the presence given to you. You, like me is going to start from scratch, spend time and effort building the life you, like me love. You, like me enjoy.

Be it wherever you are, your presence is the strongest being in the world. You presence is what creates your reality. Presence is directly proportionate to consciousness, and consciousness is directly proportionate to forming your own world, which is also directly proportionate to forming the bubble around you that protects you from the shit test by the cougars out there. The fact that they are all interlink, only proves that in whatever you do, you have to start from scratch and start with the root. Think about it...we'll talk soon when I'm back from my trip to Taiwan.

Your Friend,
Gate

Growth.

Each purpose, each mission, is meant to be fully lived to the point where it becomes empty, boring, useless. Then it should be discarded. This is a sign of growth, but you may mistake it for a sign of failure.

I am not going to post any stuff on routines or regular material that can be easily researched. Any aspiring PUA wannabe can learn tons and tons of routines...as you may know...they are just training wheels..to lead you to the door of calibration. I want you guys to ponder over those words above..for those who get it...a small little sentence could well become a spark plug for your evolution.

Many guys will often encounter a phase in their journey towards getting successful with women. And this phrase, whether you acknowledge or not...it gonna look you in the eye..one fine day..when you least expects..and tell you.."Hey, you are getting tired ..and you have been approaching so much..yes..you may have some mediocre successes..some number closes...and you're now able to open sets easily and carry off an interesting conversation..so, what now? It's so freaking boring and you know it..to keep doing it again and again...It's useless.." And when you start to feel this sense of emptiness and boredom in you..you say to yourself..."This journey is tough as shit...I wouldn't be like the best guys... and all i can do is number close..and then expect flakes from the women. I'm useless...maybe I should do something else." Man, guys...now go back up and look at that phrase again.....do you see it? It's telling you...you've basted through you limits.. it time to move on...learn something new...add some new values to your life...I'm gonna tell you to be really selfish here....DO IMPROVE YOURSELF NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS. FUCK EVERYTHING THAT STOPS YOU. LEARN THE WAY OF ACCEPTING WHAT IS..AND LEARN TO SURRENDER TO THE CURRENT MOMENT...(i know it tough, but you have to do it. YOU HAVE TO BE A MAN ABOUT THIS ) AND GIVE LOVE TO THE PEOPLE WHO CROSSES PATH IN YOUR LIFE GENEROUSLY. There will be a time when you will be dealing with emotions face on. You will look emotions in the eye...and you will feel terrible....it is ok... it is ok to feel this way...it is ok to feel afc at times..but..what differate a man from a wimp.. " A real man feel terrible over a specific situation.. and he feel emotional about it...he feel afc-ish but he is able to identify this dysfunction..and start being aware of it..and fight it back..to break out of all this mind fuck he is giving himself and stand up again. He knows that when he do that..he is another level closer to his superiority. A wimp, feel terrible and drowns his sorrow in tears...constantly telling himself how painfully it feels and fails to identify the dysfunction...and carry on being a wimp. You do not need to be a superhero, you do need to cordon off all your fears and afc feeling away from you ....be aware that it is normal...but do stand up again...that's how you bust through plateaus.

How Do I Start A Conversation?

Yes, the number one question for all the guys that is just starting out.

The moment you think about how to open (start a conversation), the women SMELLS it. The moment you look in their direction like you're churning your brain juices thinking of how to open, they SMELLS it. The moment you ASK the mentor/PUA/Instructor beside you how to open, they SMELLS it.

A lot of guys starting out put way too much thought into an opener, An opener is not meant to attract, it is not meant to seduce, it is not meant to build value ( although i usually have value via, pre-selection, body language and tonality).

It is used, to open. It doesn't and shouldn't last more than a minute.

More often than not , the opener DOES NOT MATTER. It is how your handle the responses.

I do not go " OMG WHAT A HOT GIRL HOW DO I OPEN". I go " Hi guys , do you happen to know what is an angina?

It could also be as simple as "Hi, how are you" or as cheeky as "Hey you are kinda cute but I'm cuter."

The point is , stop thinking about how to open. OPEN FOR GOD'S SAKE. Women move, they are human, they might wanna dance, they might wanna leave, they might even get picked up by a PUA who doesn't waste 15 minute thinking about opening and getting rejected in the process. He just be in moment and have a great time.

If you really, really need help, open another women. Open the girls right beside you, right beside them, whatever. Take note though, this can, and will waste 15 minute of the time where you got could've been building major rapport and attraction with your target.

Process Over Outcome, Do you really understand?

Well, So much has been said about process over outcome. It seems like another philosophy that is being passed down from old age sages, and further pre-packaged into new found enlightenment and thus being passed down again to individuals. However, how does all this intertwine with one another? It is all so easy to just go on and reiterate this powerful belief, hoping that it would skyrocket a person's progress towards succeeding with women in Singapore. Well, not exactly.

Am i messing with your head now?

Most people would go, "I don't get what you mean. How do you enjoy the process when you know the outcome might be an ugly one?" There's a lot of unwiring that needs to be done. And attempting to understand without experiencing is a definite no-brainer.

Enjoying the process, in this case communicating with the opposite sex is directly proportionate to your inner purpose. Your primary purpose is not concrete enough, you cannot enjoy the process. With a lot of guys out there who hit the clubs and the streets, i would say that they think their primary purpose is to polish their skills. I'm generalising here, so do bear with me. It is alright and nothing wrong. It probably is a social conditioning in the "PUA" kingdom". And most times, social conditioning creeps into you without you even knowing, If you are truly enjoying the process, you would not feel an inch of incongruency. Think aobut it. If in any case you feel incongruent in the field, uncomfy...or whatever...it is not your skills, or what you did, or what you said. It is your purpose. YOU GOT IT ALL MESS UP.

This is what most guys do:

Primary purpose ----> Polish up skillset

Secondary purpose ----> Enjoying a genuine interaction/making new friends
I'm not saying this is what you should do, or "do not". It's basically my interpretation of this issues. Beliefs change they are never a constant. If they were a constant, evolution probably can never take place. The face that the primary purpose of most guys is to polish their skills, creates a gaping hole in them which allows critisisms to take place. Criticisms can be rejections etc. And not many guys can learn from it the smart way.

Enjoying the process simply means enjoying the process. Nothing else. In order to do that, your attention and purpose has to be ONE. Your primary purpose allows your full attention to flow into your doing...and your secondary purpose is whatever you want to achieve through the doing. Which obviously is the outcome.

This is what i do:

Primary purose ----> Enjoying a genuine interaction/making new friends

Secondary Purpose ----> Polish up skill set

When you take a step, it is your primary purpose. And the destination is your secondary purpose. In many cases, me being guilty of it in the past, i was not really enjoying my interactions with people in the clubs and on the streets. I was desperately sourcing out for indicators of interest and what not. So i could further calibrate myself what a dumb ass i am and it does not mean you neglect what needs to be done on a practical level. It does not mean ignorance. In fact, the doing and process becomes much easier, when the dimensions of attention is acknowledges and so becomes primary . Quality requires attention. Sometimes when I'm whacked, i get shitty results in field. And its great that i have the ability to identify the dysfunction in me at that moment and immediately rectify the whole interaction. Every time was genuine. Nothing was memorized. And often guys asked "what did you say?" "How many indicator of interest did she give?". My answer I DON'T KNOW. It was fun. That's it. I figured a long time ago, that there are probably two ways for me to evolve my game.

1) Be an ass about dynamics, break it down like a robot and get good results, but in me i feel nauseous and burn out.

2) Follow my senses, purpose and enjoy the freaking process of getting to know another human being, sacrificing a little percentage of success rates. But feel congruent and genuine deep down. And even if the approach did not work out, it doesn't affect me.

I chose the second one. It was touch choice. The mental masturbation was terrible. But i recognise a fact. I am human.

Enjoying the processes, over destinations. After all aren't we all searching for that one thing? Happiness? Physical relationships are simply awesome by products of great interaction. It is not an end. By realizing that your entire life journey consists of the step you are taking at this moment. There is only this one step and so you will give your fullest attention to it. This doesn't mean you don't know where you are going. It just means this step is primary, the destination is secondary. What you encounter at your destination once you get there depends on the quality of this one step.

Grooming and Fashion

Grooming and fashion play an important part in being successful with women in Singapore and in other parts of Asia. Women notice your appearance. They judge it in a couple of seconds and they can tell if something is out place or just plain ugly. And because your dress sense and grooming convey an identity to women, in this post we will be talking about a few general guidelines for grooming and fashion.

Nails:
Keep your finger and toenails trimmed and neat. It's necessary to keep them trimmed, neat and free of dirt as women will notice it immediately. It communicates what kind of a person you are. Whether are you someone that is neat and is ale to take good care of himself.

Hair Style:
Get your hair cut at least once a month unless you are planning to keep your hair long. Always have your hair trimmed and neat. It important to get a good hair style that fits you. I'd suggest going to a expensive salon to get a free consultation, find out what would be the best hair style for your face shape and your hair type. And if your pockets are not blessed with deep pockets go to a cheaper salon to get it done.

Clothes:
Get a girl to go shopping with you, it one of the best things you can do. Women tend to have a better fashion sense compared to guys. Get their opinion and advice on what type of clothes look best on you and what kind of style will fit you. Get clothes that fit your frame and look. Read Fashion magazines on how to dress awesome and the latest trend in Singapore.

Shoes:
Women interpret how you will treat her by the condition of your shoes, believe it or not. So go out there and get some awesome shoes. I recommend getting shoes that are the same color as your belt. Unless you know what you are doing it better to get them the same color. Also bearing in mind you want to keep your shoes in good condition at all times and always polish it and get it cleaned up.

Accessories:
By putting on a few accessories that communicate who you are differentiates you out from every other guy in Singapore. Note: You don't want to put on too many accessories. You will be classified as a weird dude, that doesn't know what he's doing. Find accessories like rings, bracelet, watch, necklace that fits the style you are going for.