Ego?

Its something we all have.

For some of us, its something that we barely manage. For others, its something that points them in the direction they head towards in life. For very rare few, they manage to completely (and correctly) handle it so they never get too affected by it.

The wiki explanation goes like this"In modern-day society, ego has many meanings. It could mean one’s self-esteem; an inflated sense of self-worth; or in philosophical terms, one’s self. However, according to Freud, the ego is the part of the mind which contains the consciousness. Originally, Freud had associated the word ego to meaning a sense of self; however, he later revised it to mean a set of psychic functions such as judgment, tolerance, reality-testing, control, planning, defense, synthesis of information, intellectual functioning, and memory."To me, it is just the part in us that is permanently seeking validation. Now, to have self worth is definitely a good thing. In fact, I'd say it is necessary for any successful individual to have a strong sense of self worth. The ones who don't understand the true meaning of self worth, however, will have a warped view of reality. In their reality, the only way they can validate themselves, the only way way they can have self worth, is to constantly and infinitely prove explicitly that they are better than others in one way or another.

To those that belong to the latter, I have to say this.HOW FUCKING PATHETIC ARE YOU IDIOTS?

We all have a different way of viewing this skill set and the places we want it to take us. Some of us learned it to improve upon ourself as a person, some of us treat it as just a skill set and nothing more, some of us are in it for women, and only women.

I'm not gonna say who's right and who's wrong, but if you ask me, anyone with a decent bit of social intelligence and self respect will presumably be intelligent enough to see that there is a whole lot more to life than women. Knowing how to communicate and having success with women is definitely an essential skill all human males should have. The society we are put into doesn't exactly help us with it. As beings of the human race with a penis, we all need to , in the words of mystery, survive and replicate.

Thats the reason this community existed. THAT, is the reason this community and the subsequent coaches existed. This community was made to allow men to help each other with the problem that they were never taught to solve in school or in life. The rare few who 'got it' started this so they can help the other guys out and eventually help the person to fix this aspect of their life so they can move and fix the others.

Fixing this aspect, fixing the problem of women (or lack of), coincidentally, would help a whole load in fixing the other aspects too!

I am saddened by the fact that some have took this community as a way to prove that they are better than the others. Yeah, its an empowering thought, for a while. Its good to be competitive and all, but when you let it consume you, you end up a hollow shell. There's no substance in you, the only thing that keeps you going is the insatiable desire in you to constantly outdo others.

If anyone is really as good as they perceive themselves to be, they would never have that need to explicitly tell the whole world that they are the best.

That, to me, is just plain and simple pathetic.

PS: Are you tired of not being able to attract the women you want to attract or you’re stuck in the friendzone? If you’re and you want to change all of that, attend the Transformation Bootcamp we’re holding this coming month. We’ll show you how you can naturally attract women towards you 24/7.

http://www.modernman.sg/courses-2/transformational-bootcamp/Transformation Bootcamp

Attend our Transformation Bootcamp, you won’t regret it. It will be the best thing you ever.

Love,
Gate

The Basics of Attraction (Free workshop)

What up guys, I wanna let you all know that we people over at datingskillset.com will be holding a free workshop. Here the details for it and YES it completely free. You don't need to pay a single cent for it.

The Basics of Attraction (Free Workshop)

Learn what it takes to be an attractive guy that consistently attract girls and get dates in Singapore

The basics of attraction workshop is to equip YOU with the basic essentials of being an attractive guy that consistently attract girls and get more dates in your dating life. If you want to be more successful in the field of dating in Singapore, this workshop is definitely a must attend for you.

In this FREE workshop, you’ll learn:

· The four main traits that 90% of guys in Singapore do that lead them to no success with women.

· The  secrets towards being an attractive guy and we’ll also show you why looks and money don’t play a part in being successful with women.

· Conversation starters: Learn rejection proof on how to start conversation with a women in any situation. Example, MRT, Bus Stop, coffee shop, shopping malls, Orchard Road, clubs & bars and many more places.  You’ll never have to worry again of NOT knowing what to say.

· Tonality, specific tactics to speaking louder and how to speak more sexually.

· Singapore proven to work techniques to getting a women phone number.

· Body language, a basic guide to getting all your body language down for good. No longer having to look needy and low in confidence.

· Powerful ways to use humor playful and teasing in your interactions with all women.

· Meeting women should be FUN! Ways to keep you engage and focused on your long termed dating goals without having to viewed this like a work. Not to forget being able to get the results you wanted too.

Above are just one of the many things you’ll will be taught in this 3 hour workshop. Timing and venue for the workshop will be reveal to you once you sign up for it.  Simply send us an email with your name and phone number and you will be given a slot to the workshop. Sign up right now for our free workshop to avoid any disappointment as seat are very limited. The Basics Of Attraction will commence on the 7 of April 2012.

If you any enquires regarding the workshop feel free to end us a email at Gate@modernman.sg

Your friend,
Gate.

Why most Singaporean men do not smile.

This post is gonna be a really short one. But it identifies the main screw up
most Singapore guys have, and will always have if they have no friggin consciousness to
know what they are doing wrong.

SMILE

Too many technical analysis in your head, and you find yourself not smiling. And even if you're smiling, it looks fake and weak.

Given the many crazy adventures we have had during our night out with clients, this has been proven many a time to be TRUE.

The successful ones smile a lot. I mean hey, let's get down to the basic fundamentals man. No amount of theoretical knowledge is gonna help you if you ain't know how to smile nicely.

Just how potent can a smile be, with regards to adding any value to the whole interaction with women?

You lead, they follow. It's an unconscious thing man. Picture yourself talking to
someone with screwed up energy level, restless and shits. Man, i'm sure you'll
feel screwed up as well. Like, "yucks...wtf is this? I need to get away ..fast!"
It's the same for smiling man. You smile, you're happy, and soon enough she'll
be smiling too. I can't guarantee that she's gonna respond immediately...that
really depends on whether you're as cute as me. ROFL. I'm attached. So ..yea. =)

It really depends on your delivery and bodylanguage though. Lead the
emotions, and she will feel it, and in turn follow.

And of course, you smile with limits. You don't start smiling like a weirdo. A casual non threatening, chill, have fun kinda smile. And in the event that you do meet any uptight women who probably might threaten to rip your manly balls of you when you smile at them, walk away. It happens. Give them the benefit of the doubt. They probably ahd a bad bad day. Smile at other people who looks less threatening. Strike up a conversation. "Hey, i saw you and i thought you look friendly. My name is.." You get the drift. Have some value in who you approach and talk to. And in turn, you'll realise you're building a very respectful bunch of friends.

SMILE SMILE SMILE.

Experiment with it.

Truth is, many people don't smile.

Baiting.

What exactly is baiting? Baiting is, to me, throwing in a very subtle sort of communication 'lure' so that the girl will eventually eat it up and respond. I take it one step further, and plant in the curiosity before moving it away so it doesn't seem as obvious.

A few examples.

I like girls who like kissing. Damn what's that song?
I love it when something meant to be eaten can taste so sensual. Nice ring btw.
Its amazing how we can go to a club and talk to complete strangers. Oh my god would you date someone like that? *points*

The usefulness of this conversational strategy cannot be overstated. It can be applied in so many ways, and more often than not even if the girl doesn't bite the bait it will still leave a certain imprint in her mind. That can only be a good thing.

You can use this to say anything, express anything, let her know whatever you want her to know.

Approach without thinking and the Alpha Male.

One of the things why guys in Singapore fail to be successful with women is they think too much sometime. They plan, go out, approach women, sit down, breakdown the approach they did, then? Well, sad to say, I am guilty of that too. I've been through that phrase and at time it still happen, but I've since hone the ability to detect any signs of this bad habit popping up and have learn and still is learning how to control it. It is scary how the human mind can screw you up so badly, even before any action is taken. "Oh , she's gonna be a bitch, and shoot me down, and I'm gonna feel so terrible and embarrassed, and then people around me will notice and start gossiping, I can't do this...no!" I've been there in fact countless of time...so I can feel you. The fact is...you will meet people like that...and the solution is, not to take it personally. She might had a pretty bad day at work...or might just be another low self esteem girl.

Be social! This is NOT the 'evil art of seduction', you are going out in the field to have fun, be yourself, hang out and add value to the people around you. Whether you bang a girl or get a number is secondary. If it happen, it happen but it WILL NOT affect your state of being. You still gonna enjoy yourself even if you don't get laid. But if you are going out purely to get numbers or get laid, Women will detect that attitude from a mile away and it's an instant turn off.

I hate to hang out with guys who can't stop it. "Hey, there's 3 girls..open! Sarge!" "Why didn't you approach?" "What time are we going to start sarging, and until what time?" DUDE, WAKE UP. Just freaking hang out and have fun. When you reiterate stuff like that, you are killing yourself. Approach anxiety starts flowing like water. You now have the skills...use it to interact with people. If you've done it smoothly...the number will come. Process over outcome. You will never get blown out. You are just a friendly guy, talking to people and if uptight people shut you off...they are socially retarded. Why give meaning to blow outs like that?

When learning this skill set, many will try to be what they call the alpha. But guess what? Many do not know what a true alpha really is. True alpha males are rare. True alpha males are perhaps those 5 percent of male in the club with girls around them all the time. Alpha males give without expecting anything in return, they are just plain 'cool', they don't go around buying girls drinks or beg for their phone number. Alpha males create comfortable vibes, they create a warm happy playpen for the women to wander around in. Alpha male don't supplicate, but they treat women as equals and get the same in return. Women will compete for those men, women will work for these men. They are emotionally wired to do so. They will even leave their boyfriend just to hang out with them. They will dump him or hide him or do whatever it takes to align with the alpha male. Aren't they horrible evil sluts for doing so? The answer is NO. Look...they don't have a choice, women are programmed to align with alpha males just like men are programmed to sleep with women. Women love the true alpha males and want to be 'Pick Up'. If you pull this off right, then literally every women you approach will love your presence and your energy. They feel honored to be hanging out with you. The direction of your interaction is up to you and her. It will take some time for you to cease being surprised when you find women want far different things than what you formerly thought they wanted. Remember, that most women are with beta men because that is all they can get. If you are an alpha male who won't deceive her about your intentions then you are doing her a huge favor by introducing yourself into her life. All of the women I date know that I see other women and they don't mind because they would still rather be with me than pretending to be happy with some beta boyfriend.

Sign up for our courses right now and learn what it take to be a true alpha male. For more information check out website www.datingskilset.com


With love,
Gate

Loving Women. An Artform

You probably have encounter them. You probably have had your balls shattered by them. You probably feared them. Or you may be the lucky one, to love them and be loved by them in return.

Seriously...girls are humans after all. Besides the fact that most of them have been brainwashed by agony gurus...they are loving creatures. Before I even continue...

First things first: Never take things personally.

Girls are beautiful creatures beaming with emotional energy. They are cute. They make your life pretty and bouncy. Picture barney and the purple dinosaur. Yes...this is the exactly feeling that you should get when you interact with a girl. Appreciate their emotional ups and downs, accept the fact that they are who they are. And what they are, EMOTIONAL creatures. Don't ever try to change them. Without them, you are never alive. Love them with all you can.

With so much talk about loving them. How do we actually go about doing it? You might be experienced uptight girls, suspicious ones who go: "get a better pickup line!" When you genuinely want directions to the nearest gents...you might even have experience with fickle minded ones who go: "I feel so confused, I think I am just not ready for you love", when you shower her with all the affection she said she wanted Confused ? Don't be.

Accept the way things are. Matter of fact, men and women are build differently. Women can never understand men, and men can never understand women...unless they both decide to take on the journey of learning about the opposite sex, and dwell deeply into evolution psychology. Women don't want what they say they want. You have to be able to the codes. When i talk about love, I am not talking about obsession, needing , or even an outcome. Loving girls is non-judgemental and patient. It's about appreciation of her famine being, and whatever she feels like being right now. Whatever her mood is. Look at women for who they really are. Symphatise on a deep level with what they have to go through. Understand that they have to deal with wild and random emotions and mood swings, and they can't just trust any guy that comes up to them. Appreciate their imperfection and funny antics. When they sit down with you and spit out random illogical stuff stuffs, listen to them...understand that it is part of their emotional circuitry.

Women are fun people. Tickle them. Play with them. Go crazy. Nobody says you have to be all so serious faced with them...and talk serious subjects. After all, life is a fun process.

For guys out there...to sum it all, girls want a men who is able to lead and live life with purpose.

The next time you decide to get all upset and affected when faced with shit that girls throw at you...don't be. The only person who has the power to affect your emotions is YOU. The next time you decide to get involved in an argument with a women, STOP. You can never win.

We at datingskillset have always taken on the mindset that girls are awesome. You should too! They are lovely people with a myriad of emotions. Even to the point where we happen to meet an unstable and uptight one...who do not hesitate to "castrate" us mentally and emotionally...we just shrug it off. Never will you become overly protective of yourself, become violent or verbally aggressive. I have seen tons of guys acting this way. Sadly...some were grown adults. We man, have a part to play in every interaction with girls. It is obviously a balance of the sex. It is what I call value ping.

Always be friendly. Uptight people will lead an uptight life. Well, if you find this post intriguing...yes, thanks...after all, men like us are rare.

A Sneak Peek On Our Dating Courses!

Here's a sneak peek into exactly what kind of stuff we talk about in our Approach Courses ( The Day Approach & Night Approach).

What exactly is attractive to women? what is it about certain man that makes them so irresistible to women? Have you ever had a friend who walks into a party, socializes with everyone, and then later you hear " oh my god he's so charming, he's so attractive, he's so funny".

It all boils down to one thing communication. It all about how you package your values, ideals, qualities, and communicate it across to others. If your values, ideals are strong enough, they will want it. It's a lot like sales, but nothing like sales. You do not want to appear like you're trying when you are. You do not want to appear like you want their attention when you do.

Make sense? It shouldn't. What you are about to learn is the answer to everything here that i just posed. Be prepared for change. HUGE changes. You will get some of your beliefs shattered, and make damn sure you will be taken aback by some of the radical ideals that are directly against the societal norm.

You are not here for a quick fix solutions. You are not here to look for some simple solution to problems you have faced all your life. You are not here, for only learning how to pick up women. You are here for learning how to build a new life. A new way of leading life. A new way of getting your thoughts across and having them accepted.

PS: Do Check our website www.modernman.sg for more information on the Approach Courses.

A New You.

Get Ready.

How Do I Start A Conversation?

Yes, the number one question for all the guys that is just starting out.

The moment you think about how to open (start a conversation), the women SMELLS it. The moment you look in their direction like you're churning your brain juices thinking of how to open, they SMELLS it. The moment you ASK the mentor/PUA/Instructor beside you how to open, they SMELLS it.

A lot of guys starting out put way too much thought into an opener, An opener is not meant to attract, it is not meant to seduce, it is not meant to build value ( although i usually have value via, pre-selection, body language and tonality).

It is used, to open. It doesn't and shouldn't last more than a minute.

More often than not , the opener DOES NOT MATTER. It is how your handle the responses.

I do not go " OMG WHAT A HOT GIRL HOW DO I OPEN". I go " Hi guys , do you happen to know what is an angina?

It could also be as simple as "Hi, how are you" or as cheeky as "Hey you are kinda cute but I'm cuter."

The point is , stop thinking about how to open. OPEN FOR GOD'S SAKE. Women move, they are human, they might wanna dance, they might wanna leave, they might even get picked up by a PUA who doesn't waste 15 minute thinking about opening and getting rejected in the process. He just be in moment and have a great time.

If you really, really need help, open another women. Open the girls right beside you, right beside them, whatever. Take note though, this can, and will waste 15 minute of the time where you got could've been building major rapport and attraction with your target.

Process Over Outcome, Do you really understand?

Well, So much has been said about process over outcome. It seems like another philosophy that is being passed down from old age sages, and further pre-packaged into new found enlightenment and thus being passed down again to individuals. However, how does all this intertwine with one another? It is all so easy to just go on and reiterate this powerful belief, hoping that it would skyrocket a person's progress towards succeeding with women in Singapore. Well, not exactly.

Am i messing with your head now?

Most people would go, "I don't get what you mean. How do you enjoy the process when you know the outcome might be an ugly one?" There's a lot of unwiring that needs to be done. And attempting to understand without experiencing is a definite no-brainer.

Enjoying the process, in this case communicating with the opposite sex is directly proportionate to your inner purpose. Your primary purpose is not concrete enough, you cannot enjoy the process. With a lot of guys out there who hit the clubs and the streets, i would say that they think their primary purpose is to polish their skills. I'm generalising here, so do bear with me. It is alright and nothing wrong. It probably is a social conditioning in the "PUA" kingdom". And most times, social conditioning creeps into you without you even knowing, If you are truly enjoying the process, you would not feel an inch of incongruency. Think aobut it. If in any case you feel incongruent in the field, uncomfy...or whatever...it is not your skills, or what you did, or what you said. It is your purpose. YOU GOT IT ALL MESS UP.

This is what most guys do:

Primary purpose ----> Polish up skillset

Secondary purpose ----> Enjoying a genuine interaction/making new friends
I'm not saying this is what you should do, or "do not". It's basically my interpretation of this issues. Beliefs change they are never a constant. If they were a constant, evolution probably can never take place. The face that the primary purpose of most guys is to polish their skills, creates a gaping hole in them which allows critisisms to take place. Criticisms can be rejections etc. And not many guys can learn from it the smart way.

Enjoying the process simply means enjoying the process. Nothing else. In order to do that, your attention and purpose has to be ONE. Your primary purpose allows your full attention to flow into your doing...and your secondary purpose is whatever you want to achieve through the doing. Which obviously is the outcome.

This is what i do:

Primary purose ----> Enjoying a genuine interaction/making new friends

Secondary Purpose ----> Polish up skill set

When you take a step, it is your primary purpose. And the destination is your secondary purpose. In many cases, me being guilty of it in the past, i was not really enjoying my interactions with people in the clubs and on the streets. I was desperately sourcing out for indicators of interest and what not. So i could further calibrate myself what a dumb ass i am and it does not mean you neglect what needs to be done on a practical level. It does not mean ignorance. In fact, the doing and process becomes much easier, when the dimensions of attention is acknowledges and so becomes primary . Quality requires attention. Sometimes when I'm whacked, i get shitty results in field. And its great that i have the ability to identify the dysfunction in me at that moment and immediately rectify the whole interaction. Every time was genuine. Nothing was memorized. And often guys asked "what did you say?" "How many indicator of interest did she give?". My answer I DON'T KNOW. It was fun. That's it. I figured a long time ago, that there are probably two ways for me to evolve my game.

1) Be an ass about dynamics, break it down like a robot and get good results, but in me i feel nauseous and burn out.

2) Follow my senses, purpose and enjoy the freaking process of getting to know another human being, sacrificing a little percentage of success rates. But feel congruent and genuine deep down. And even if the approach did not work out, it doesn't affect me.

I chose the second one. It was touch choice. The mental masturbation was terrible. But i recognise a fact. I am human.

Enjoying the processes, over destinations. After all aren't we all searching for that one thing? Happiness? Physical relationships are simply awesome by products of great interaction. It is not an end. By realizing that your entire life journey consists of the step you are taking at this moment. There is only this one step and so you will give your fullest attention to it. This doesn't mean you don't know where you are going. It just means this step is primary, the destination is secondary. What you encounter at your destination once you get there depends on the quality of this one step.

Grooming and Fashion

Grooming and fashion play an important part in being successful with women in Singapore and in other parts of Asia. Women notice your appearance. They judge it in a couple of seconds and they can tell if something is out place or just plain ugly. And because your dress sense and grooming convey an identity to women, in this post we will be talking about a few general guidelines for grooming and fashion.

Nails:
Keep your finger and toenails trimmed and neat. It's necessary to keep them trimmed, neat and free of dirt as women will notice it immediately. It communicates what kind of a person you are. Whether are you someone that is neat and is ale to take good care of himself.

Hair Style:
Get your hair cut at least once a month unless you are planning to keep your hair long. Always have your hair trimmed and neat. It important to get a good hair style that fits you. I'd suggest going to a expensive salon to get a free consultation, find out what would be the best hair style for your face shape and your hair type. And if your pockets are not blessed with deep pockets go to a cheaper salon to get it done.

Clothes:
Get a girl to go shopping with you, it one of the best things you can do. Women tend to have a better fashion sense compared to guys. Get their opinion and advice on what type of clothes look best on you and what kind of style will fit you. Get clothes that fit your frame and look. Read Fashion magazines on how to dress awesome and the latest trend in Singapore.

Shoes:
Women interpret how you will treat her by the condition of your shoes, believe it or not. So go out there and get some awesome shoes. I recommend getting shoes that are the same color as your belt. Unless you know what you are doing it better to get them the same color. Also bearing in mind you want to keep your shoes in good condition at all times and always polish it and get it cleaned up.

Accessories:
By putting on a few accessories that communicate who you are differentiates you out from every other guy in Singapore. Note: You don't want to put on too many accessories. You will be classified as a weird dude, that doesn't know what he's doing. Find accessories like rings, bracelet, watch, necklace that fits the style you are going for.

Welcome!

Welcome to the modernman.sg blog.

Most guys in Singapore lack the vital skill set to be successful with women. Pretty much what they know about women and attraction are completely wrong and not true, thus causing them to miss out on a lot of potential relationship and sexual opportunities one can have.

My name is Gate and I am a Dating Coach from Singapore. My aim is to educate you with proven strategies that will help you to be successful with women here in Singapore as well as most parts of Asia . Here, I will be sharing my honest thoughts, experience, tips and advice on how you can attract and date the women of your dreams. The blog will be updated on a weekly basis so do keep a look out for new articles. To receive the weekly updates on the newsletters, go to http://www.datingskillset.com/ and remember this guys. Success with women IS a choice. It's all possible only by making a decision as to whether you want to get this part of your life handled.

P.S Do check out our website http://www.modernman.sg/ regarding the courses available

Your Friend,
Gate