Ego?

Its something we all have.

For some of us, its something that we barely manage. For others, its something that points them in the direction they head towards in life. For very rare few, they manage to completely (and correctly) handle it so they never get too affected by it.

The wiki explanation goes like this"In modern-day society, ego has many meanings. It could mean one’s self-esteem; an inflated sense of self-worth; or in philosophical terms, one’s self. However, according to Freud, the ego is the part of the mind which contains the consciousness. Originally, Freud had associated the word ego to meaning a sense of self; however, he later revised it to mean a set of psychic functions such as judgment, tolerance, reality-testing, control, planning, defense, synthesis of information, intellectual functioning, and memory."To me, it is just the part in us that is permanently seeking validation. Now, to have self worth is definitely a good thing. In fact, I'd say it is necessary for any successful individual to have a strong sense of self worth. The ones who don't understand the true meaning of self worth, however, will have a warped view of reality. In their reality, the only way they can validate themselves, the only way way they can have self worth, is to constantly and infinitely prove explicitly that they are better than others in one way or another.

To those that belong to the latter, I have to say this.HOW FUCKING PATHETIC ARE YOU IDIOTS?

We all have a different way of viewing this skill set and the places we want it to take us. Some of us learned it to improve upon ourself as a person, some of us treat it as just a skill set and nothing more, some of us are in it for women, and only women.

I'm not gonna say who's right and who's wrong, but if you ask me, anyone with a decent bit of social intelligence and self respect will presumably be intelligent enough to see that there is a whole lot more to life than women. Knowing how to communicate and having success with women is definitely an essential skill all human males should have. The society we are put into doesn't exactly help us with it. As beings of the human race with a penis, we all need to , in the words of mystery, survive and replicate.

Thats the reason this community existed. THAT, is the reason this community and the subsequent coaches existed. This community was made to allow men to help each other with the problem that they were never taught to solve in school or in life. The rare few who 'got it' started this so they can help the other guys out and eventually help the person to fix this aspect of their life so they can move and fix the others.

Fixing this aspect, fixing the problem of women (or lack of), coincidentally, would help a whole load in fixing the other aspects too!

I am saddened by the fact that some have took this community as a way to prove that they are better than the others. Yeah, its an empowering thought, for a while. Its good to be competitive and all, but when you let it consume you, you end up a hollow shell. There's no substance in you, the only thing that keeps you going is the insatiable desire in you to constantly outdo others.

If anyone is really as good as they perceive themselves to be, they would never have that need to explicitly tell the whole world that they are the best.

That, to me, is just plain and simple pathetic.

PS: Are you tired of not being able to attract the women you want to attract or you’re stuck in the friendzone? If you’re and you want to change all of that, attend the Transformation Bootcamp we’re holding this coming month. We’ll show you how you can naturally attract women towards you 24/7.

http://www.modernman.sg/courses-2/transformational-bootcamp/Transformation Bootcamp

Attend our Transformation Bootcamp, you won’t regret it. It will be the best thing you ever.

Love,
Gate

4 Guys and 1 Girl

I was in the train today, on my way to an awesome day out. The weather was great. No newpaper, no magazine...i allowed my vision to wander about the freezing cabin, hoping to spot something interesting. No luck.

On to my games in my cell phone..i went on enjoying my little time alone. I was a little distracted when a group of students boarded the train. As usual, loud and seemingly "cool", with tapered pants and huge earphones. .

4 guys, 1 girl. I could easily understand the dynamics of this small little group, just from one glance. 1 attention seeking girl, 4 needy guys. OUCH. Not really healthy. lol. It wasn't until one hokey pokey cool guy made his move..that i felt utterly nauseous. No offence..but i really did. With overcompensating non-verbal cues, and ridiculously meaningless questions...he went on a live firing rampage. Yea...i could see what was goin on.

Guy: Hey, why do you only wear one earphone?
Girl: So im able to listen to my music and know what you guys talk about at the same time.
Guy: Oh, is that nice?
Girl: i duno. hehehehee.

I mean..seriously... as much as i tried to mind my own business, i have this huge inclination to just watch behind my shades and anticipate their next moves. And i'm pretty darn good at that. ROFL. It ended up with the guys fighting to be a hero and bashing one another down and the girl acting weirdly..doing overly compensating actions to ask for attention. It was utterly unsightly.

Can't blame them though. We all came from the same piece of cloth..but until you are unplugged...like "neo" in the matrix..you will forever be like that.

Look, when you are talking to a girl, your mind is moving rapidly...just like a loop. You're always thinking of what to say. If your standards of interaction relates to what you read in romance novels...or even television programmes...there's a very high chance that you will never get the results you want. Televisions are simply...fictional. And most of us who are constantly watching tv programmes, drama etc, are in fact being socially conditioned in a way that society is telling us what we should be doing or should look like.

There will always be a difference in the reality of a scientist and an average joe. What's the difference? It's the information that is constantly being fed into the mind. The scientist analyses..the scientist debates...the scientist experiments..and the results from all these creates his reality of how he views things. However, an average joe is constantly being programmed by the media..by his boss..and bla bla bla....step out of the rat race, step out of conditioning...

Explore various portal of thoughts...you will find it intriguing..

Love,
Gate

Fear of success with women in Singapore

It's a brand new experience for me today, i did the unthinkable. Well..at least it felt fresh.

I was talking to someone today, and throughout the conversation i could feel an intense energy i can't really explain or decipher. It was somewhat defensive and rigid. Like trying an impossible feat of moving a brick wall with your bare hands.

It got me thinking. And after some painful mind screwing i was giving myself...this is what i came to conclusion with...

People often create an idea of what their life is going to be like, or will eventually be like..And almost auto-pilot-ly..they identify themselves with it. This whole concept eventually becomes their reality. Their reality of who they are, what they are worth, and how they are going to live their life. Which is obviously what makes human beings unique individuals...to a certain extent maybe. Lets face it..let's just dwell into the deeper of it all. Do we really have a strong sense of who we are, and our purpose in life? Or are we simply just following what we think another person is doing right and foolishly model their sense of reality?

Have you ever had any experience talking to a friend whom you think needs help, but just for god's sake sticks to what he thinks he's doing right...even though reality says otherwise? I did. I remember talking to a friend about self improvement, hoping i could add some constructive value to his life...only to end up being mercilessly mocked at by him. Believe me, when you truly want to help, and end up being insulted and laughed at..that will never feel good.

"Do you really think that by going out socialising, and talking to strangers will help assist you in developing your communication skills with the opposite sex? Are you really that desperate to have a girlfriend? Oh com'on, don't be silly. I don't even need to learn all these. I am so blardy good looking. I have an awesome career. Girls will come. All will fall in place. Relax!! Remember how betty used to go head over heels over me? Remember how 5 years ago that girl went crazy over me?" --- Yea..5 years ago? What about the present moment? Stop living in the past will you?

All of the above...might sound familiar to you. Or maybe that person is you. I don't know. But i have friends like that, definitely. I used to come from that state of mind too. LOL. Pretty funny huh..especially now i'm thinking about it. And it brought me to ponder deeper. What is all this bullshit thinking all about? Matter of fact, it's probably derived from FEAR. Fear of having your already constructed reality shattered. Simply because you are being so comfortable in it that you felt there is no need for anything better, anything closer to getting to know your higher self. That similar anxiety you felt when you are unsure of whether you should take on that promotion opportunity or not. YES! That anxiety. That fear of success. That uncertainty.

Or maybe i should just stay put at where i am..at least i kinda feel safe? And then i die and realised how short my journey towards self improvement was? That is sad.

That is probably the reason why most people are unable to take the first step, the first plunge even though they know it eventually will be fruitful for them. The inability to accept that their mentally constructed reality will be destroyed, along with their identity...i mean..it is true...been there, done that. GROWN. =)

It is so paradoxical isn't it? I know i want it, but there is this unexplainable force holding me back. Just what the hell is it? I know by self improvement is good for me, but i just don't feel i need it right now.

WHY?

Maybe i'm just too afraid to leave this comfortable zone in my life to explore new arenas. Or maybe when i step out of comfort, i might die. Or maybe.. or maybe..or maybe...

It never ends. The question keeps coming. What if i surrender my ego, and just take the plunge?

Uncertainty?

Look, when you are born you are uncertain if you are going to survive. When you take an exam, you
are uncertain if you are going to pass with flying grades. When you take on your first job, you are uncertain where it will eventually bring you. And when you die..you are uncertain where you will be going.

YOU ARE LIVING IN UNCERTAINTY ALL YOU LIFE.

So when are you going to get out of your head? Maybe never? What is so scary about uncertainty, now that you realize you have been living your life in uncertainty all this while?

I was conversing with someone who commented on my hair. Reality wise..yes, it probably didn't turn out the way she thought it to be. It simply cannot fit in. So instead of accepting it, she rejected. She became dictative of how my hair should have looked like.....she wanted it to be fitted into her perceived reality. So as to feel comfortable..to feel "at peace". Notice how sometimes you kinda feel icky when you see something you just cannot accept?

LEARN TO ACCEPT IT.

Learn to face your fears. Learn to gravitate around them. Learn to take action.

Till then,

Do something

Love.

Amazing how things change.

It's amazing.

I was walking back from supper and I spotted a cute girl with her boyfriend (apparently) from a distance away.

The first thought that crossed my mind was: "She may not be happy in that relationship."

The next was: "Wow.. 8 years ago I would have thought otherwise."

Now, I'm not saying that it's a good way to think, but it's literally universes apart from how most people would see things, given the same situation, isn't it?

Typical thought-pattern of convention thinking:

"Oh she's attached.. .too bad."
"She has a boyfriend.. forget it, what's the use of even trying?"

And so it ends there... or does it?

Let's just say my point-of-view opens up a whole new world of possibilities. In that instance I could decide to find out if she's happy with her current situation.

Instead of "too bad", I wondered "what if she isn't happy?".

So it came to the conclusion that people do and can change. It just takes time, effort and the willingness to.

Inner game takes a long time for most people. Guys in this community often encourage the development of both outer and inner game. They compliment each other.

Sitting at home reading 10 hours of self-improvement books won't help if you don't get out there and experience it first hand.

Going out there with no technique, adequate skills nor the appropriate mindset for 10 hours will only teach you what not to do the next time, and perhaps if you're lucky, you find something that works. Worse if you never learn from your mistakes.

Do both. Join our theory classes and our In field classes where we meet women together in real life situations.

Life is always good. Be a great guy.

How to deal with rejections from women. The misfire approach.

Rejections from a women during a approach or a date is what i call the misfire approach. Face it, no matter how attractive or seductive you are, there will be a particular girl who hates you, and one who loves you to bits.

There is really nothing you can do about it. No amount of routine is able to rectify that.

However, if you are lovable in the first place, people will eventually like you. You go out with the fire in your eyes, execute your intentions with pure honesty and integrity. That's how you experience congruency. And if you can't look at yourself right in the mirror without flinching a bit, you ain't strong enough.

I'm telling you right now to work on yourself. I'm telling you to practice the misfire approach, rather than the usual planning, aiming of targets.

Leave the lines and dynamics alone for now.

Some guy told me that doing the above is not productive, and it doesn't guarantee results.

Bullshit. This guy who said the above is, and will not be happy internally...for a long long time.

This brings us back to why many guys decided to chart this journey of learning how to communicate better with women.

They ain't get no dates. And they ain't comfortable living alone.

Who sets the rule that if you ain't have any girl, you are a loser? No one.

This skill set addresses the issue that has been, and still is biting at everyone of our inner self. We ain't comfortable spending time alone. Misunderstanding the need for a partner as the answer for our happiness, i was guilty of it.

What are you lacking? You answer it yourself. A relationship is a vehicle to bring out the light in both human beings. To propel both people to higher grounds of consciousness. Nothing more. If you are currently in a long term relationship, ask yourself if you are growing. Growing intellectually, emotionally and spiritually. Ask yourself if you constantly challenge your partner to grow. I bet not huh?

The impossible is often untried. Before you say something is impossible, try it. Try it until it works.

Don't limit yourself to structures. Don't burn bridges. I've lost great friends to the human ego. I've lost friends who suddenly realized they have evolved to be a super pick up artist, and lost themselves in delusion. The moment you start viewing yourself as a master, you short change your learning curve.

I never compete against the competition. The only one i compete against is myself, because one day i will beat the competition and then who will i compete against?

There is really nothing more powerful than love in this world. Nothing.

Forgive and have compassion, for that is the operant which brings in the results.

Operants transcend both the observable and non observable. We might picture them as a rainbow bridging the deterministic and the nondeterministic realm.

In dating terms, whatever you feel she feel.

The operant in this case is your body language and the energy you are giving off. With operant as the vehicle to transcend thoughts into actions, you basically will require a strong attractor pattern. In this case, your inner self.

If you are starting of a conversation with a playful teasing, hoping to generate some great responses, hoping she will tease you back..so you can determine her level of interest in order to secure your next move....your attractor pattern is WEAK.

You should rather be allowing your true self to shine, not caring about any rejections or successes you will get throughout the night. Gracefully gliding and mingling around the club and genuinely enjoying yourself. Just how many people can do that?

Before you disagree, think for a moment..are you really enjoying yourself when you are faking an approach?

There you have your answer. You want her. And as a man, how wimpy it is that you need a reason to express your interest in her? That being said, to deliver such a power pact opening by blatantly showing interest..you need some preparations.

You need to smell good
You need to look sharp and well groomed
You need to show your sparking teeth and deliver an ass whooping wide smile
You need to be talking to everyone and assume rapport
You need to be able to hold eye contact (unwavering that is)
You need to be GENUINELY HAPPY and having FUN

The above will take care of many many things. It is the stuff that you should be thinking about when you enter a club, and everywhere you deem fit. It is your attractor pattern. And with these attractor patterns, it directly affects the kind of operants you use, aka bodylanguage / speech / words. And this manifests itself into the observable event. Whether or not she reciprocates solely depends on your internal view of yourself.

Misfire approach? You bet. Who cares if she hates your guts? Does it affect you? End of the day, if you were to die tomorrow, are you going to be happy?

You know the answer my man.

Spend some time, think about it. If the universe is so easily figured out, if dynamics are so easily manipulated, we'll all be gods. Things are always changing. External events intercorrelate. The only control we have is over our emotions and thoughts.

That should be the only unwavering thingy you should care about. Not logistics, not whether she gives you ten iois or not.

Should you be able to be true to your intentions, things will unfold..things will take care of themselves.

Afterall, that's the exciting part of life isn't it? You never know what you get..

Stay true. Try it

Happiness and your dating structure.

People view happiness differently. Some see it as having what they want, some see it as achieving personal goals, some see it as watching others appreciate their lives...so on and so forth.

Are you happy? Are you really happy?

If you even need any time to think about it..you are not happy. Face it. How congruent are we..how sure are we..to say we are totally happy? Don't tell me..don't ask me...ask yourself. Just like how i asked myself.

Happiness is not about what you have, or how much you have. Rather, it is about how much you give. And this road of giving is not for the faint hearted. This road of giving, will show you the way to human open-ness. But you will have to go through alot of pain, alot of wiring on your already socially programmed mindset..to give selflessly. It will show you the way to unconditional love. Love that requires no expectations of returns. Well, if there are any..those are simply bonuses and by-products of your human aawesome-ness. Until you are able to do that...you will always be finding that one special secret recipe. Deep down in you, in the middle of the night, just before sleeping, you will reflect...you will talk to yourself...you will ask....how do i find it?

In any case, whenever you expect a reward of your giving...you will feel terrible. Anytime you place any importance on rewards..any importance to feed your ego..you will feel terrible. As much as i thought this whole thing was about learning how to speak with women, and attract them on a primal level...i quickly knew that there was more. More than meets the eye.

You want to know how to attract a woman you fancy?

Improve

Improve yourself as a whole. Not only on superficial levels such as conversational skills, humor, or whatsoever that you will learn in bootcamp. Rather....it is really about building a solid set of moral values, character, beliefs, etc. To summarise, be someone of standard. Be a really good person. Be a person who gives value. Be a person who sings praises of people who deserve it. Let it go.

A car with engine and petrol will move, but if it is an old and faulty engine...some crappy petrol...the car ain't gonna go far.Your value as a man is your capacity as a man.

With extra resources on building confidence, learning to be creatively humorous, ability to continue and escalate conversations, the road to finding your purpose and building your structure as a man will be much more easier.

Afterall, these are just my opinions and my thoughts on this subject.

But really think about it.

Your ability to be a value giver..is really a beautiful attribute. It is a gorgeous thing to have.

Realistically speaking..what is so good about being able to meet women..and being really good at it? The physical pleasure? Or the beautiful energy when both humans connect on an emotional level?

If this is your warped reality...

You go out one night, you meet a beautiful woman..you spent time with her...you bring her home...and you made sweet physical love...and then she leaves..the next night..you meet another beautiful girl...and the cycle goes on..and it happens for years..and then you die. Lets say...you die 3 years down the road...and you have spent your last 3 years doing what you were doing...successfully...constantly dating gorgeous women...and now you're on your deathbed...you look back...apart from having those pretty girls ..of who many probably don't even remember you.....are you happy? Is this the life you want? Have you really allowed your core as a man to shine? To face your fears of pain? To be a giver rather than a taker?

Hey, this obviously is not the life i wanna lead though. I know i will not be happy. This kind of life is not fulfilled to me at all. When i'm on my deathbed, i want to know..that i had lived a full life. A life that i know i gave my best. I know i gave my everything, i gave what i want and i experienced what served as beautiful lessons...to discover myself on a deeper level. I want to know that i made an impact on the lives of the people who came into my life.

To die knowing that i have given my true gift..or knowing that i have done my every best in my everyday life...like what an anonymous self help guru said...is very empowering.

When i started my journey learning how to be good with women..i was working on quantity. Never did i expect it was a pretty warped reality. But it brought me to where i am now. It provided me with a direction for self improvement. I now focus on quality. Women of depth.

Opening someone up and leaving them with no concrete reason is a very cruel act. Why would anybody wana do that? It really is not about how many women you hook up with...it is really not about the quantity...but rather..the quality.

Your values and motive that you have is directly proportionate to the kind of woman you attract.

If you ain't have the right motive..you ain't have the right woman.

If you are of no quality yourself...you ain't gonna attract a quality woman.

Women can smell you from afar. The moment you speak...they know where you are coming from. They know if you are a man who knows his purpose in life, or just another shallow man who simply wants some physical love.

A smile attracts a smile

A punch receives a punch

You want to attract a good woman....?

BE A GOOD MAN YOURSELF FIRST

Your Friend,
Gate

Why most Singaporean men do not smile.

This post is gonna be a really short one. But it identifies the main screw up
most Singapore guys have, and will always have if they have no friggin consciousness to
know what they are doing wrong.

SMILE

Too many technical analysis in your head, and you find yourself not smiling. And even if you're smiling, it looks fake and weak.

Given the many crazy adventures we have had during our night out with clients, this has been proven many a time to be TRUE.

The successful ones smile a lot. I mean hey, let's get down to the basic fundamentals man. No amount of theoretical knowledge is gonna help you if you ain't know how to smile nicely.

Just how potent can a smile be, with regards to adding any value to the whole interaction with women?

You lead, they follow. It's an unconscious thing man. Picture yourself talking to
someone with screwed up energy level, restless and shits. Man, i'm sure you'll
feel screwed up as well. Like, "yucks...wtf is this? I need to get away ..fast!"
It's the same for smiling man. You smile, you're happy, and soon enough she'll
be smiling too. I can't guarantee that she's gonna respond immediately...that
really depends on whether you're as cute as me. ROFL. I'm attached. So ..yea. =)

It really depends on your delivery and bodylanguage though. Lead the
emotions, and she will feel it, and in turn follow.

And of course, you smile with limits. You don't start smiling like a weirdo. A casual non threatening, chill, have fun kinda smile. And in the event that you do meet any uptight women who probably might threaten to rip your manly balls of you when you smile at them, walk away. It happens. Give them the benefit of the doubt. They probably ahd a bad bad day. Smile at other people who looks less threatening. Strike up a conversation. "Hey, i saw you and i thought you look friendly. My name is.." You get the drift. Have some value in who you approach and talk to. And in turn, you'll realise you're building a very respectful bunch of friends.

SMILE SMILE SMILE.

Experiment with it.

Truth is, many people don't smile.

Anxiety and a new perspective towards taking care of it.

Many of us prolly might have experienced anxiety before. What kinda anxiety? You know. That tingling-heart pumping-breathless feeling you get when you fancy a cute girl, and found it so darn hard to just go up and say hi. It is normal. If anyone would tell me straight in my face : "Oh i never have anxiety", i prolly wouldn't take him seriously. I had, and still have. Yes, i'm pretty darn honest. And im fine with it. What's different is prolly the different ways we tackle this issue. Some experienced it, and crawled back to their shells and start comforting themselves....some, the better ones..tend to recognise it, and just go through the motions. Walk up. "Hi, how are you?" Some guys even have anxiety while talking to a fellow male. Before you even call him a chump and start laughing hysterically at him...think. What rights do you have to make this judgement about him? You have no rights. It is normal. Throughout these years, i have experienced several incredible growth spurts. I wouldn't say all of them are good or bad..but i prolly wouldn't change anyone of them if i were given a chance. And i proly wouldn't consider myself any different from many guys out there. In terms of individual thinking, yes. But that is just it. Sometimes, i am impressed by my past clients for example Ryan. I learnt alot from just watching him transformed. Lesson i got out of this?

PEOPLE ARE ALWAYS IN THEIR OWN HEADS.

People allow themselves limitations. And you can never be too sure of anything. Because things change..as experience comes in. Be sure of yourself now, in this present moment. Because this is the time you have complete control. This article i am churning out now isn't a complete "cure". No..it is simply just a new perspective ...a signpost...to lead us to our individual purpose in life. What guy A gets out of this material is different from what guy B does. The first time i saw him, he was quiet and reserved. What people might call an "afc". But not in the eyes of mine. He had reservations about his life situations. Progress is tough. But guess what..i look at him now, he is a complete changed man. Maybe not all that sanely...but at least he had made very impressive progress. Go to him for humour lessons. I can vouch for that. =) So much for stories..lol..lets go on to the meat of this article.I do not know how you view anxiety..and i am not going to put a price on it. However, this is how i currently see it..as it is.....

Anxiety isn't a bad thing afterall. Some people say to view it as adrenaline..and "just know it is a good feeling" ..then you are able to remove negative thoughts and just do it. Well, good idea..but doesn't work for me. Have to find out what works for YOU. Not everybody. I view anxiety as spark pugs for growth. Take this analogy...anxiety is like bodybuilding. Each and everytime you lift weights, you are in actual fact breaking down your muscles, and matter of fact, they are going through a stage of atrophy. They are getting smaller. But guess what? It starts growing almost compoundingly..as you start eating right, sleeping enough...and training more...and the cycle goes on. It gets bigger and bigger. So anxiety can be viewed similarly. With anxiety..it is giving you a "push" to go do an approach..and who cares if you crash and burn? Who cares if you got rejected. It doesn't matter. What is in fact happening is this. Each and everytime you get your reality shattered, you grow. YES.EACH AND EVERYTIME YOU GET YOUR REALITY SHATTERED, YOU GROW.

I hope this article provides some kinda value to you guys out there.

Baiting.

What exactly is baiting? Baiting is, to me, throwing in a very subtle sort of communication 'lure' so that the girl will eventually eat it up and respond. I take it one step further, and plant in the curiosity before moving it away so it doesn't seem as obvious.

A few examples.

I like girls who like kissing. Damn what's that song?
I love it when something meant to be eaten can taste so sensual. Nice ring btw.
Its amazing how we can go to a club and talk to complete strangers. Oh my god would you date someone like that? *points*

The usefulness of this conversational strategy cannot be overstated. It can be applied in so many ways, and more often than not even if the girl doesn't bite the bait it will still leave a certain imprint in her mind. That can only be a good thing.

You can use this to say anything, express anything, let her know whatever you want her to know.

What If?

What if she reject me?
What if she doesn't respond?
What if she say fuck off?
What if she slap me?
What if her friends drag her away?
What if she have a boyfriend?
What if she's lesbian?

Sounds familiar? Yes, the above thoughts, not exhaustive by any means, is what is usually going through guys when they are approaching women in Singapore. The fear of the approach and is known as approach anxiety.

Approach Anxiety.

Did the above 2 words just freak you out? If it did, don't worry, it normal.

Everyone get approach anxiety. EVERY LIVING BREATHING HUMAN. GIRLS INCLUDED

See, even guys who are successful with women get approach anxiety.

Whats the difference between the guy who is successful and the guys who not?

A guy who not successful with women let approach anxiety overcome him and stay in his little corner in a club, do nothing all night, and feel like shit.

A ladies men can think to himself "Fuck this shit, I'm going in". and get rejected, and subsequently get the number of the next 5 approaches he open.

Think about it.

Approach without thinking and the Alpha Male.

One of the things why guys in Singapore fail to be successful with women is they think too much sometime. They plan, go out, approach women, sit down, breakdown the approach they did, then? Well, sad to say, I am guilty of that too. I've been through that phrase and at time it still happen, but I've since hone the ability to detect any signs of this bad habit popping up and have learn and still is learning how to control it. It is scary how the human mind can screw you up so badly, even before any action is taken. "Oh , she's gonna be a bitch, and shoot me down, and I'm gonna feel so terrible and embarrassed, and then people around me will notice and start gossiping, I can't do this...no!" I've been there in fact countless of time...so I can feel you. The fact is...you will meet people like that...and the solution is, not to take it personally. She might had a pretty bad day at work...or might just be another low self esteem girl.

Be social! This is NOT the 'evil art of seduction', you are going out in the field to have fun, be yourself, hang out and add value to the people around you. Whether you bang a girl or get a number is secondary. If it happen, it happen but it WILL NOT affect your state of being. You still gonna enjoy yourself even if you don't get laid. But if you are going out purely to get numbers or get laid, Women will detect that attitude from a mile away and it's an instant turn off.

I hate to hang out with guys who can't stop it. "Hey, there's 3 girls..open! Sarge!" "Why didn't you approach?" "What time are we going to start sarging, and until what time?" DUDE, WAKE UP. Just freaking hang out and have fun. When you reiterate stuff like that, you are killing yourself. Approach anxiety starts flowing like water. You now have the skills...use it to interact with people. If you've done it smoothly...the number will come. Process over outcome. You will never get blown out. You are just a friendly guy, talking to people and if uptight people shut you off...they are socially retarded. Why give meaning to blow outs like that?

When learning this skill set, many will try to be what they call the alpha. But guess what? Many do not know what a true alpha really is. True alpha males are rare. True alpha males are perhaps those 5 percent of male in the club with girls around them all the time. Alpha males give without expecting anything in return, they are just plain 'cool', they don't go around buying girls drinks or beg for their phone number. Alpha males create comfortable vibes, they create a warm happy playpen for the women to wander around in. Alpha male don't supplicate, but they treat women as equals and get the same in return. Women will compete for those men, women will work for these men. They are emotionally wired to do so. They will even leave their boyfriend just to hang out with them. They will dump him or hide him or do whatever it takes to align with the alpha male. Aren't they horrible evil sluts for doing so? The answer is NO. Look...they don't have a choice, women are programmed to align with alpha males just like men are programmed to sleep with women. Women love the true alpha males and want to be 'Pick Up'. If you pull this off right, then literally every women you approach will love your presence and your energy. They feel honored to be hanging out with you. The direction of your interaction is up to you and her. It will take some time for you to cease being surprised when you find women want far different things than what you formerly thought they wanted. Remember, that most women are with beta men because that is all they can get. If you are an alpha male who won't deceive her about your intentions then you are doing her a huge favor by introducing yourself into her life. All of the women I date know that I see other women and they don't mind because they would still rather be with me than pretending to be happy with some beta boyfriend.

Sign up for our courses right now and learn what it take to be a true alpha male. For more information check out website www.datingskilset.com


With love,
Gate

Presence, the secret attraction tool.

Everyone looks the same. Everyone acts the same. Even if you are dress really well, you still look the same...which of course varies to the individual 3rd party view. How do you differentiate yourself? I do not advocate teaching people powerful routines to carry off a complete pick up. Develop your personality first, then add in those routines. Take it right here, if you are a empty vessel, routines are just gonna be useless. Yes, you can be completely flawless by throwing routines after rountines..great..if that's what you are doing..then I'm happy for you. However, I know...that deep down...deep down when you are alone, in your room...you mind starts running. Just like the same old feelings that hurts so much, that pierce your heart, that breathless moment...that point of time during your childhood that you felt your parents love your sibling more then they love you. Nothing helps. More routines can never take the permanent scar away. You have to love yourself. Accept the presence given to you. You, like me is going to start from scratch, spend time and effort building the life you, like me love. You, like me enjoy.

Be it wherever you are, your presence is the strongest being in the world. You presence is what creates your reality. Presence is directly proportionate to consciousness, and consciousness is directly proportionate to forming your own world, which is also directly proportionate to forming the bubble around you that protects you from the shit test by the cougars out there. The fact that they are all interlink, only proves that in whatever you do, you have to start from scratch and start with the root. Think about it...we'll talk soon when I'm back from my trip to Taiwan.

Your Friend,
Gate

The Angina Opener!

Here a conversation piece you guys can use to start a conversation with the girls. It called the Angina opener.

Me: Hey guys, help me out here. I'm supposedly the best in English amongst my friends.
Girls:Uh....
Me: What an angina?

That's all

It piques their curiosity and there are endless opportunities for playful teasing when they answer. Due to the nature of how it is pronounce and spell but in actual fact angina is a severe chest pain. Most girls will tend to associate it with some sort of a dirty meaning to the word and that is when you tease them.

Loving Women. An Artform

You probably have encounter them. You probably have had your balls shattered by them. You probably feared them. Or you may be the lucky one, to love them and be loved by them in return.

Seriously...girls are humans after all. Besides the fact that most of them have been brainwashed by agony gurus...they are loving creatures. Before I even continue...

First things first: Never take things personally.

Girls are beautiful creatures beaming with emotional energy. They are cute. They make your life pretty and bouncy. Picture barney and the purple dinosaur. Yes...this is the exactly feeling that you should get when you interact with a girl. Appreciate their emotional ups and downs, accept the fact that they are who they are. And what they are, EMOTIONAL creatures. Don't ever try to change them. Without them, you are never alive. Love them with all you can.

With so much talk about loving them. How do we actually go about doing it? You might be experienced uptight girls, suspicious ones who go: "get a better pickup line!" When you genuinely want directions to the nearest gents...you might even have experience with fickle minded ones who go: "I feel so confused, I think I am just not ready for you love", when you shower her with all the affection she said she wanted Confused ? Don't be.

Accept the way things are. Matter of fact, men and women are build differently. Women can never understand men, and men can never understand women...unless they both decide to take on the journey of learning about the opposite sex, and dwell deeply into evolution psychology. Women don't want what they say they want. You have to be able to the codes. When i talk about love, I am not talking about obsession, needing , or even an outcome. Loving girls is non-judgemental and patient. It's about appreciation of her famine being, and whatever she feels like being right now. Whatever her mood is. Look at women for who they really are. Symphatise on a deep level with what they have to go through. Understand that they have to deal with wild and random emotions and mood swings, and they can't just trust any guy that comes up to them. Appreciate their imperfection and funny antics. When they sit down with you and spit out random illogical stuff stuffs, listen to them...understand that it is part of their emotional circuitry.

Women are fun people. Tickle them. Play with them. Go crazy. Nobody says you have to be all so serious faced with them...and talk serious subjects. After all, life is a fun process.

For guys out there...to sum it all, girls want a men who is able to lead and live life with purpose.

The next time you decide to get all upset and affected when faced with shit that girls throw at you...don't be. The only person who has the power to affect your emotions is YOU. The next time you decide to get involved in an argument with a women, STOP. You can never win.

We at datingskillset have always taken on the mindset that girls are awesome. You should too! They are lovely people with a myriad of emotions. Even to the point where we happen to meet an unstable and uptight one...who do not hesitate to "castrate" us mentally and emotionally...we just shrug it off. Never will you become overly protective of yourself, become violent or verbally aggressive. I have seen tons of guys acting this way. Sadly...some were grown adults. We man, have a part to play in every interaction with girls. It is obviously a balance of the sex. It is what I call value ping.

Always be friendly. Uptight people will lead an uptight life. Well, if you find this post intriguing...yes, thanks...after all, men like us are rare.

A Sneak Peek On Our Dating Courses!

Here's a sneak peek into exactly what kind of stuff we talk about in our Approach Courses ( The Day Approach & Night Approach).

What exactly is attractive to women? what is it about certain man that makes them so irresistible to women? Have you ever had a friend who walks into a party, socializes with everyone, and then later you hear " oh my god he's so charming, he's so attractive, he's so funny".

It all boils down to one thing communication. It all about how you package your values, ideals, qualities, and communicate it across to others. If your values, ideals are strong enough, they will want it. It's a lot like sales, but nothing like sales. You do not want to appear like you're trying when you are. You do not want to appear like you want their attention when you do.

Make sense? It shouldn't. What you are about to learn is the answer to everything here that i just posed. Be prepared for change. HUGE changes. You will get some of your beliefs shattered, and make damn sure you will be taken aback by some of the radical ideals that are directly against the societal norm.

You are not here for a quick fix solutions. You are not here to look for some simple solution to problems you have faced all your life. You are not here, for only learning how to pick up women. You are here for learning how to build a new life. A new way of leading life. A new way of getting your thoughts across and having them accepted.

PS: Do Check our website www.modernman.sg for more information on the Approach Courses.

A New You.

Get Ready.

Growth.

Each purpose, each mission, is meant to be fully lived to the point where it becomes empty, boring, useless. Then it should be discarded. This is a sign of growth, but you may mistake it for a sign of failure.

I am not going to post any stuff on routines or regular material that can be easily researched. Any aspiring PUA wannabe can learn tons and tons of routines...as you may know...they are just training wheels..to lead you to the door of calibration. I want you guys to ponder over those words above..for those who get it...a small little sentence could well become a spark plug for your evolution.

Many guys will often encounter a phase in their journey towards getting successful with women. And this phrase, whether you acknowledge or not...it gonna look you in the eye..one fine day..when you least expects..and tell you.."Hey, you are getting tired ..and you have been approaching so much..yes..you may have some mediocre successes..some number closes...and you're now able to open sets easily and carry off an interesting conversation..so, what now? It's so freaking boring and you know it..to keep doing it again and again...It's useless.." And when you start to feel this sense of emptiness and boredom in you..you say to yourself..."This journey is tough as shit...I wouldn't be like the best guys... and all i can do is number close..and then expect flakes from the women. I'm useless...maybe I should do something else." Man, guys...now go back up and look at that phrase again.....do you see it? It's telling you...you've basted through you limits.. it time to move on...learn something new...add some new values to your life...I'm gonna tell you to be really selfish here....DO IMPROVE YOURSELF NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS. FUCK EVERYTHING THAT STOPS YOU. LEARN THE WAY OF ACCEPTING WHAT IS..AND LEARN TO SURRENDER TO THE CURRENT MOMENT...(i know it tough, but you have to do it. YOU HAVE TO BE A MAN ABOUT THIS ) AND GIVE LOVE TO THE PEOPLE WHO CROSSES PATH IN YOUR LIFE GENEROUSLY. There will be a time when you will be dealing with emotions face on. You will look emotions in the eye...and you will feel terrible....it is ok... it is ok to feel this way...it is ok to feel afc at times..but..what differate a man from a wimp.. " A real man feel terrible over a specific situation.. and he feel emotional about it...he feel afc-ish but he is able to identify this dysfunction..and start being aware of it..and fight it back..to break out of all this mind fuck he is giving himself and stand up again. He knows that when he do that..he is another level closer to his superiority. A wimp, feel terrible and drowns his sorrow in tears...constantly telling himself how painfully it feels and fails to identify the dysfunction...and carry on being a wimp. You do not need to be a superhero, you do need to cordon off all your fears and afc feeling away from you ....be aware that it is normal...but do stand up again...that's how you bust through plateaus.

How Do I Find The Energy To Approach?

Yeah, it's one the biggest problems guys are facing. We are have a life, we all have a day job, we all have to WORK (or study).

Lots of people would go " how am I am supposed to approach and meet new people when I've just work 8 hours?" or the likes.

Well, how do we go about getting that energy and positive vibe back after a gruelling 8 hours of enduring irritating colleagues, over demanding bosses, and down right retarded customers?

My answer to this: You don't. Quoted from an awesome PUA whose name I don't remember ( sorry bro, lol. Let me know if you see this, I'll credit you),

"Pickup doesn't start the moment you enter the club, It's start the moment you open your eyes."
You want to feel good all the time and not just when you are approaching women but on a daily basis. Get that postive energy and vibe everyday!

Here a simple exercise you can do to make yourself feel better. Here how it done.

The moment you wake up , close your eyes and clear your thoughts.
Keep telling yourself: I'm positive, full of life, fun and interesting.
Now picture that sentence in you, in the middle of you.
Once you feel the vibe, locate it's centre, it's gonna be right in the middle of the words.
Imagine the words expanding , filling your insides, filling your whole body.
See the words in you, feel the vibe in you, feel it expanding , feel it taking over and influencing every little micro-organism in you.
Now that it's at it peak, imagine it EXPLODING. Like BAM!

Open your eyes and you'll feel like you've clinched a million dollar deal, bang a hot chick, and in the process got a promotion to the position your most hated boss used to hold on to.

If you do this everyday, you'll begin the day in an extremely positive manner. Talk to everyone, be nice to them, say hi to your neighbours in the lift, say hi to that poor ugly colleague whom nobody talk to.

You rule, it's your world.

Take it over.

Building A Life.

Have you ever wondered how some people have really awesome life, and some just do the same old boring thing day after day...until they get old? It doesn't take a fool to know that you have totally control over your own life. And it doesn't take a fool to know that the results you get are determined by your responses. As a matter of fact, view your life as a movie. You are the actor of the movie. If you are make it past 70 years old , you are basically living only 28,000 days at max. You have to do something about it. One life one chance and this your chance to decide how you would want to live your live.

Do not get me wrong here, I'm not telling you to go hit somebody or even kill someone. You might be damn kidding right? Start doing the things you really wanted to do, but have always held you back due to the excuses you have given yourself like " I don't have the time". " What would others think of me". " My parents won't allow" ect. The more excuses you have, the more fear you have and only return to "NOTHING".

One of the things life boils down to are SURVIVE and REPLICATE. You obviously do not survive, unless you are a immortal. Which of course is not possible. What you can do, is to survive tough and rocky life situations. There are no problems in life. Only situations. And how we deal with situations reflects directly on how it will turn out. A rule of the alpha, BE UNREACTIVE. Simply means, be unaffected by external factors. It's tough to do, but yes it can happen. If you practice, if you are conscious enough. Be present and in the moment. If somethings terrible happens, you do not fall into the unconsciousness and allow your emotions to control you. You simply acknowledge the presence of the situation and know it there. It doesn't affect affect you on a deep level. I'm not telling you to be emotionless. It about controlling your emotions. If you let it run wild, you start falling into an irrational state of mind, and you're like a crazy bull running around the place, not towards a red cloth, but a black one. Start taking charge of your emotions, when you are able to do that, you will and i promise...be able to feel so much in control.

Replication, of course comes in when you start building families. I'm not gonna touch on this too much. if you cannot even survive, how would you replicate? Start building a life. Join a dance class, go take up martial arts classes, go do some water sports, go travelling...talk to strangers...make new friends. If you can start doing this right now, you will start to feel that time is limited. And you will start to realise the importance of every being in the world. You have to be happy with what you do. What I'm revealling here isn't rocket science, but basic logic. BASIC IS GOLD. talk about stories of value , you will have millions of them without even thinking of them, or trying to come out with one. Because you have such a awesome life. Start now and live the life you want to live.

Process Over Outcome, Do you really understand?

Well, So much has been said about process over outcome. It seems like another philosophy that is being passed down from old age sages, and further pre-packaged into new found enlightenment and thus being passed down again to individuals. However, how does all this intertwine with one another? It is all so easy to just go on and reiterate this powerful belief, hoping that it would skyrocket a person's progress towards succeeding with women in Singapore. Well, not exactly.

Am i messing with your head now?

Most people would go, "I don't get what you mean. How do you enjoy the process when you know the outcome might be an ugly one?" There's a lot of unwiring that needs to be done. And attempting to understand without experiencing is a definite no-brainer.

Enjoying the process, in this case communicating with the opposite sex is directly proportionate to your inner purpose. Your primary purpose is not concrete enough, you cannot enjoy the process. With a lot of guys out there who hit the clubs and the streets, i would say that they think their primary purpose is to polish their skills. I'm generalising here, so do bear with me. It is alright and nothing wrong. It probably is a social conditioning in the "PUA" kingdom". And most times, social conditioning creeps into you without you even knowing, If you are truly enjoying the process, you would not feel an inch of incongruency. Think aobut it. If in any case you feel incongruent in the field, uncomfy...or whatever...it is not your skills, or what you did, or what you said. It is your purpose. YOU GOT IT ALL MESS UP.

This is what most guys do:

Primary purpose ----> Polish up skillset

Secondary purpose ----> Enjoying a genuine interaction/making new friends
I'm not saying this is what you should do, or "do not". It's basically my interpretation of this issues. Beliefs change they are never a constant. If they were a constant, evolution probably can never take place. The face that the primary purpose of most guys is to polish their skills, creates a gaping hole in them which allows critisisms to take place. Criticisms can be rejections etc. And not many guys can learn from it the smart way.

Enjoying the process simply means enjoying the process. Nothing else. In order to do that, your attention and purpose has to be ONE. Your primary purpose allows your full attention to flow into your doing...and your secondary purpose is whatever you want to achieve through the doing. Which obviously is the outcome.

This is what i do:

Primary purose ----> Enjoying a genuine interaction/making new friends

Secondary Purpose ----> Polish up skill set

When you take a step, it is your primary purpose. And the destination is your secondary purpose. In many cases, me being guilty of it in the past, i was not really enjoying my interactions with people in the clubs and on the streets. I was desperately sourcing out for indicators of interest and what not. So i could further calibrate myself what a dumb ass i am and it does not mean you neglect what needs to be done on a practical level. It does not mean ignorance. In fact, the doing and process becomes much easier, when the dimensions of attention is acknowledges and so becomes primary . Quality requires attention. Sometimes when I'm whacked, i get shitty results in field. And its great that i have the ability to identify the dysfunction in me at that moment and immediately rectify the whole interaction. Every time was genuine. Nothing was memorized. And often guys asked "what did you say?" "How many indicator of interest did she give?". My answer I DON'T KNOW. It was fun. That's it. I figured a long time ago, that there are probably two ways for me to evolve my game.

1) Be an ass about dynamics, break it down like a robot and get good results, but in me i feel nauseous and burn out.

2) Follow my senses, purpose and enjoy the freaking process of getting to know another human being, sacrificing a little percentage of success rates. But feel congruent and genuine deep down. And even if the approach did not work out, it doesn't affect me.

I chose the second one. It was touch choice. The mental masturbation was terrible. But i recognise a fact. I am human.

Enjoying the processes, over destinations. After all aren't we all searching for that one thing? Happiness? Physical relationships are simply awesome by products of great interaction. It is not an end. By realizing that your entire life journey consists of the step you are taking at this moment. There is only this one step and so you will give your fullest attention to it. This doesn't mean you don't know where you are going. It just means this step is primary, the destination is secondary. What you encounter at your destination once you get there depends on the quality of this one step.

Welcome!

Welcome to the modernman.sg blog.

Most guys in Singapore lack the vital skill set to be successful with women. Pretty much what they know about women and attraction are completely wrong and not true, thus causing them to miss out on a lot of potential relationship and sexual opportunities one can have.

My name is Gate and I am a Dating Coach from Singapore. My aim is to educate you with proven strategies that will help you to be successful with women here in Singapore as well as most parts of Asia . Here, I will be sharing my honest thoughts, experience, tips and advice on how you can attract and date the women of your dreams. The blog will be updated on a weekly basis so do keep a look out for new articles. To receive the weekly updates on the newsletters, go to http://www.datingskillset.com/ and remember this guys. Success with women IS a choice. It's all possible only by making a decision as to whether you want to get this part of your life handled.

P.S Do check out our website http://www.modernman.sg/ regarding the courses available

Your Friend,
Gate