Using your powers to date and attract women wisely.

I was watching the tyra banks show on tv. It was a pretty damn drama situation. They put a loving couple to a test on their relationship..by allowing both of them to go on a date with another person for 24 hours. Can you believe they had the whole camera crew shooting the whole date? Gee.

It was pretty nerve wrecking just watching it. The girl was displaying terrible integrity while on a date with another dude. Spouting stuffs that were painful to even listen. Even if i'm not her boyfriend...man...it was painful.

"Never had a date before while with my boyfriend"... - bullshit? I think so.

And on the other side of the picture, the guy too...did some no-no stuffs. Holdiong hands, smelling his date's neck...well.

But what the hell is that about in the first place? 2 insecure people in a relationship? It's good publicity and good tv show by the way...given that people love drama..but that was just plain stupid. It was horrible conditioning. Hidden messages that people have a lack of honesty was all over the place. Planting negative thoughts into people's minds? Damn.

I forced myself to follow through with the show...

Everything looked pretty damn bad. It was tv show ..true... but the message that audiences received just by watching it was damaging enough.

80% of the audiences were females.

Rebuttal time.

Female lead had massive validation on her excuses on why she did this and that..although it obviously looked and was not right. Male lead was brutally slashed when he escalated physical contact on his date. Female lead was given ample time to explain her actions while male lead was immediately interrupted and cut off by tyra banks on his explainations.

Equality? I think not.

I felt bad for him. He had no other way to justify his actions. He had nowhere to go. And before you know it...oil was added onto the fire.

Interview time!

Audiences were invited upfront to give their comments on whether the female lead should continue her relationship with the male lead.

Audiences invited were all females. NO males.

All said "He doesn't deserve you".

OUCH. The male lead was slammed mercilessly. Poor dude.

In the very first place..nobody should have any say or any authority to comment or justify a relationship. BUT YOU.

YOU ARE IN CONTROL. Do not let other people tell you what you should do. Whether you should break up with him or her. If you ain't even sure of it yourself, what makes you think an outsider is?

It is very sad to see people letting others control their life situations. Let me tell you. That is not wise at all.

It is as if a negative molecules wants to see a neutral molecule turn negative...so they can form an atom.

The scary part about that show was really this...................

"Female audiences rooting for female lead to breakup with boyfriend. Audiences were cheering with wide smiles drawn across their faces"

What a terrible dysfunction!

It was really this....People placing their happiness on other peoples sadness.

OUCH. Stop that. They don't know what is good for you. You know.

And having such dating skills being so mainstream....many people have misused their ability.

With great power comes greater responsibilities.


I've seen people who misused their powers and go around breaking up relationships. And ultimately stroking their ego so that they feel so much more better after doing a bad deed...by saying to themselves....

"I know i am a better man for her. Her current boyfriend is a chump. She won't be happy. Let me show her what she is missing"


YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO DO SO.

What makes you think you have? You don't know. True enough, the girl's boyfriend may not be as influential or outgoing as you. True enough, on comparison if i place you both on a weighing scale..you will come out top. But that still does not give you any power to break up a relationship.

Don't get me wrong here. It is ultimately fine to have a healthy self esteem by knowing that you are a great guy that can give any woman a great time. But it is not right to use this affirmation as a reason to allow you to spring into action by being the "Haha-Im -Going-To-Snatch-The-Girl-From-The-Boyfriend guy". Because you don't know. You have no rights.

If you look at it from a bigger picture..why do you even need to get the girl who is already in a relationship? Deep down...is it just another ego boost to your mental concept of yourself as a "sexworthy guy"? If she really hates being in the relationship she's in...and is dying to get out of it....she will tell you. But it is of no proper moral tothe situatio even escalate n just because you know you are a great guy.. and can "give her a great time that her current boyfriend can't". \

Don't tell me things about "If the relationship if going well, she wont cheat". That is simply a lame excuse again for your stupid ego to escalate and get the girl.

What i'm talking about here is...you have no rights to determine her happiness..and his happiness. If you are even in the process...or utilising any single "tactics" to try to get the girl...you know you have crossed the line.



Again....YOU HAVE NO RIGHTS.


My stand has always been the same. I'll never touch a girl who is attached. And i know when to draw the line. And i have another new found friend.

The distribution of power has since become a get-the-girl kind thing...and not about self-improvement and communication skills anymore..


I am deeply saddened...


Power has to be balanced....It will only serve to ruin you one day...if you ain't know how to use it.

4 Guys and 1 Girl

I was in the train today, on my way to an awesome day out. The weather was great. No newpaper, no magazine...i allowed my vision to wander about the freezing cabin, hoping to spot something interesting. No luck.

On to my games in my cell phone..i went on enjoying my little time alone. I was a little distracted when a group of students boarded the train. As usual, loud and seemingly "cool", with tapered pants and huge earphones. .

4 guys, 1 girl. I could easily understand the dynamics of this small little group, just from one glance. 1 attention seeking girl, 4 needy guys. OUCH. Not really healthy. lol. It wasn't until one hokey pokey cool guy made his move..that i felt utterly nauseous. No offence..but i really did. With overcompensating non-verbal cues, and ridiculously meaningless questions...he went on a live firing rampage. Yea...i could see what was goin on.

Guy: Hey, why do you only wear one earphone?
Girl: So im able to listen to my music and know what you guys talk about at the same time.
Guy: Oh, is that nice?
Girl: i duno. hehehehee.

I mean..seriously... as much as i tried to mind my own business, i have this huge inclination to just watch behind my shades and anticipate their next moves. And i'm pretty darn good at that. ROFL. It ended up with the guys fighting to be a hero and bashing one another down and the girl acting weirdly..doing overly compensating actions to ask for attention. It was utterly unsightly.

Can't blame them though. We all came from the same piece of cloth..but until you are unplugged...like "neo" in the matrix..you will forever be like that.

Look, when you are talking to a girl, your mind is moving rapidly...just like a loop. You're always thinking of what to say. If your standards of interaction relates to what you read in romance novels...or even television programmes...there's a very high chance that you will never get the results you want. Televisions are simply...fictional. And most of us who are constantly watching tv programmes, drama etc, are in fact being socially conditioned in a way that society is telling us what we should be doing or should look like.

There will always be a difference in the reality of a scientist and an average joe. What's the difference? It's the information that is constantly being fed into the mind. The scientist analyses..the scientist debates...the scientist experiments..and the results from all these creates his reality of how he views things. However, an average joe is constantly being programmed by the media..by his boss..and bla bla bla....step out of the rat race, step out of conditioning...

Explore various portal of thoughts...you will find it intriguing..

Love,
Gate

Learning how to date girls in Singapore?

Learning how to date girls in Singapore?

I've always been open to various viewpoints on subjects, and i've always been pretty philosophical about stuffs. It's fun and it challenges and stretches our mind-rubberband. And out of curiosity, i went to wiki philosophy.

Damn, am i appalled at the branches of it. Aesthetics, logic, epistemology, metaphysics...etc. I shook my head, but i continued reading and discovering. It was scary. Scary to know that there are so so so so much more out there. And we can never stop discovering.

And i started to question. I started to question this "buzzing thought" i've always seems to have in my head.


*I don't wana know. I don't wana listen anymore. I know what i know. That is enough. Stop giving me anymore excess information. I am so tired*


Somehow, at every junction of learning something new, it never fails to pop out and wish me a good day. I question the reason. I question the reason why it seems to go away after i bust through all the brick walls and master a certain new skill.

As if saying : Oh now i ain't have any control over holding you back now..bye bye! And poof! Off it goes...

Ironic huh? Weird huh? But it happened. It happened and is still happening to me. Humans are effing lazy by nature. ROFL. That's just my personal take on it. =p

And so...it prolly might be directly proportionate to being complacent. Highly i would say. Imagine how incongruent it would feel to step out of your house and build a tent out there and sleep in it for a few days. You'll prolly feel eeky on the 2nd day onwards. You aint used to that condition yet. Not yet. Bear with it for a few more days.. and your tolerance level may well move up a notch...and it starts to feel better..it starts to feel pretty much normal and relaxing...you're starting to adapt.

And so...below is an abstract from wiki.. take note of the ones i highlighted in red.


Learning
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Learning is one of the most important mental function of humans, animals and artificial cognitive systems. It relies on the acquisition of different types of knowledge supported by perceived information. It leads to the development of new capacities, skills, values, understanding, and preferences. Its goal is the increasing of individual and group experience Learning functions can be performed by different brain learning processes, which depend on the mental capacities of learning subject, the type of knowledge which has to be acquitted, as well as on socio-cognitive and environmental circumstances.
Learning ranges from simple forms of learning such as habituation and classical conditioning seen in many animal species, to more complex activities such as play, seen only in relatively intelligent animals and humans. Therefore, in general, a learning can be conscious and not conscious.

For example, for small children, not conscious learning processes are as natural as breathing. In fact, there is evidence for behavioral learning prenatally, in which habituation has been observed as early as 32 weeks into gestation, indicating that the central nervous system is sufficiently developed and primed for learning and memory to occur very early on in development.
From the social perspective, learning is the goal of teaching and education.
Conscious learning is a capacity requested by students, therefore is usually goal-oriented and requires a motivation.

Learning has also been mathematically modeled using a differential equation related to an arbitrarily defined knowledge indicator with respect to time, and dependent on a number of interacting factors (constants and variables) such as initial knowledge, motivation, intelligence, knowledge anchorage or resistance, etc.[5][6] Thus, learning does not occur if there is no change in the amount of knowledge even for a long time, and learning is negative if the amount of knowledge is decreasing in time. Inspection of the solution to the differential equation also shows the sigmoid and logarithmic decay learning curves, as well as the knowledge carrying capacity for a given learner.


Physiology of learning

"Thought," in a general sense, is commonly conceived as something arising from the stimulation of neurons in the brain. Current understanding of neurons and the central nervous system implies that the process of learning corresponds to changes in the relationship between certain neurons in the brain.
It is generally recognized that memory is more easily retained when multiple parts of the brain are stimulated, such as through combinations of hearing, seeing, smelling, motor skills, touch sense, and logical thinking.
Repeating thoughts and actions is an essential part of learning. Thinking about a specific memory will make it easy to recall. This is the reason why reviews are such an integral part of education. On first performing a task, it is difficult as according to current theory synaptic modification is necessary for the task to be acquired. After several repetitions it is believed that structural changes occur in relevant synapses, thus rendering the task easier. When the task becomes so easy that you can perform it at any time, these structural changes have likely ceased.


Yep, and so it proves one thing, It may be that the unconscious is afraid of leaving the comfort zone and entering a new area where the previous skills it has since acquired will not be the essential moving piece in the new situation. It will highly be neglected. You ain't gona talk about your knowledge of stocks and shares on a date.. and just by omitting the already acquired knowledge..it prolly threatens the ego to let go. To release the tension is has been holding on to..and jump into a new environment to pick up something new and unlearnt.

And it pretty much proved my experiences. There can never be a ceasation of human learning process. When it ceases...you fall onto the negative side of the graph. Pretty scary.

Learning is an everyday thing. For anybody who thinks they hit a plateau in self improvement...back to basics.. You probably in some point of your life resisted new information. You resisted change. You resisted the learning curve. Thus, you prolly plunge way back down. The deeper down you go, the more effort it's gonna take you to climb.

Past students reading this....there isn't any magic pill anymore....the only magic pill is to climb. Stretch your mind-rubber...and keep stretching....for that's what life is about. If you aint stretching...be damn sure you are already dead. Every effort to stretch requires energy and motivation.....and every energy and motivation present represents every second of life. If you are still alive and kicking....ain't no excuse for you not to learn new skills.

Till then, love.

PS: Are you tired of not being able to attract the women you want to attract or you’re stuck in the friendzone? If you’re and you want to change all of that register for your free 1 on 1 coaching session with us.

http://www.modernman.sg/courses/free-coaching-session/

Love,
Gate. 

Fear of success with women in Singapore

It's a brand new experience for me today, i did the unthinkable. Well..at least it felt fresh.

I was talking to someone today, and throughout the conversation i could feel an intense energy i can't really explain or decipher. It was somewhat defensive and rigid. Like trying an impossible feat of moving a brick wall with your bare hands.

It got me thinking. And after some painful mind screwing i was giving myself...this is what i came to conclusion with...

People often create an idea of what their life is going to be like, or will eventually be like..And almost auto-pilot-ly..they identify themselves with it. This whole concept eventually becomes their reality. Their reality of who they are, what they are worth, and how they are going to live their life. Which is obviously what makes human beings unique individuals...to a certain extent maybe. Lets face it..let's just dwell into the deeper of it all. Do we really have a strong sense of who we are, and our purpose in life? Or are we simply just following what we think another person is doing right and foolishly model their sense of reality?

Have you ever had any experience talking to a friend whom you think needs help, but just for god's sake sticks to what he thinks he's doing right...even though reality says otherwise? I did. I remember talking to a friend about self improvement, hoping i could add some constructive value to his life...only to end up being mercilessly mocked at by him. Believe me, when you truly want to help, and end up being insulted and laughed at..that will never feel good.

"Do you really think that by going out socialising, and talking to strangers will help assist you in developing your communication skills with the opposite sex? Are you really that desperate to have a girlfriend? Oh com'on, don't be silly. I don't even need to learn all these. I am so blardy good looking. I have an awesome career. Girls will come. All will fall in place. Relax!! Remember how betty used to go head over heels over me? Remember how 5 years ago that girl went crazy over me?" --- Yea..5 years ago? What about the present moment? Stop living in the past will you?

All of the above...might sound familiar to you. Or maybe that person is you. I don't know. But i have friends like that, definitely. I used to come from that state of mind too. LOL. Pretty funny huh..especially now i'm thinking about it. And it brought me to ponder deeper. What is all this bullshit thinking all about? Matter of fact, it's probably derived from FEAR. Fear of having your already constructed reality shattered. Simply because you are being so comfortable in it that you felt there is no need for anything better, anything closer to getting to know your higher self. That similar anxiety you felt when you are unsure of whether you should take on that promotion opportunity or not. YES! That anxiety. That fear of success. That uncertainty.

Or maybe i should just stay put at where i am..at least i kinda feel safe? And then i die and realised how short my journey towards self improvement was? That is sad.

That is probably the reason why most people are unable to take the first step, the first plunge even though they know it eventually will be fruitful for them. The inability to accept that their mentally constructed reality will be destroyed, along with their identity...i mean..it is true...been there, done that. GROWN. =)

It is so paradoxical isn't it? I know i want it, but there is this unexplainable force holding me back. Just what the hell is it? I know by self improvement is good for me, but i just don't feel i need it right now.

WHY?

Maybe i'm just too afraid to leave this comfortable zone in my life to explore new arenas. Or maybe when i step out of comfort, i might die. Or maybe.. or maybe..or maybe...

It never ends. The question keeps coming. What if i surrender my ego, and just take the plunge?

Uncertainty?

Look, when you are born you are uncertain if you are going to survive. When you take an exam, you
are uncertain if you are going to pass with flying grades. When you take on your first job, you are uncertain where it will eventually bring you. And when you die..you are uncertain where you will be going.

YOU ARE LIVING IN UNCERTAINTY ALL YOU LIFE.

So when are you going to get out of your head? Maybe never? What is so scary about uncertainty, now that you realize you have been living your life in uncertainty all this while?

I was conversing with someone who commented on my hair. Reality wise..yes, it probably didn't turn out the way she thought it to be. It simply cannot fit in. So instead of accepting it, she rejected. She became dictative of how my hair should have looked like.....she wanted it to be fitted into her perceived reality. So as to feel comfortable..to feel "at peace". Notice how sometimes you kinda feel icky when you see something you just cannot accept?

LEARN TO ACCEPT IT.

Learn to face your fears. Learn to gravitate around them. Learn to take action.

Till then,

Do something

Love.

Why phone numbers don't mean a thing.

Most guys feel that getting a phone number is equivalent to scoring a goal.

They place far too much importance in it.

Reason is simple. It could be fake, or she may not even answer unknown calls.

Girls give out numbers for all kinds of reasons.

1. She may need some kinda ego boost at that moment
2. She likes u but decided against investing more as there was no/ not enough qualification/attraction done during the interaction
3. She wants to have guys calling/ msg-ing her just to 'kill-time' and show to her friends for social proof
4. She felt embarassed not to give it to you even though she wasn't attracted to you e.g. introduced by common friend

However, a ladies man understands that a phone number is a natural occurence in a successful set. A successful set prior to a phone number is defined as:

1. Attraction created
2. Qualified her ("push-pull")
3. Rapport and connection built (sharing of dreams, vulnerabilities,)

My girlfriend's a natural at doing that (mostly giving out due to common friends, then complaining about chumps bothering her).

Oh, I'm shouldn't be talking about her in public. Lol.

So guys.. getting a phone number means nothing if you haven't done the above 3 steps. Unless she's bored and wants to kill time, she probably won't entertain you for long or at all. If you've done the 3 steps well or ran tight game, she will offer the number to you.

Refer to the post on the phone calls on "how not to mess it up". First 8 lines of your phone dialogue will probably make or kill you as well.

This shit is tough, but nobody ever said it was easy.

Your Friend,
Gate

Amazing how things change.

It's amazing.

I was walking back from supper and I spotted a cute girl with her boyfriend (apparently) from a distance away.

The first thought that crossed my mind was: "She may not be happy in that relationship."

The next was: "Wow.. 8 years ago I would have thought otherwise."

Now, I'm not saying that it's a good way to think, but it's literally universes apart from how most people would see things, given the same situation, isn't it?

Typical thought-pattern of convention thinking:

"Oh she's attached.. .too bad."
"She has a boyfriend.. forget it, what's the use of even trying?"

And so it ends there... or does it?

Let's just say my point-of-view opens up a whole new world of possibilities. In that instance I could decide to find out if she's happy with her current situation.

Instead of "too bad", I wondered "what if she isn't happy?".

So it came to the conclusion that people do and can change. It just takes time, effort and the willingness to.

Inner game takes a long time for most people. Guys in this community often encourage the development of both outer and inner game. They compliment each other.

Sitting at home reading 10 hours of self-improvement books won't help if you don't get out there and experience it first hand.

Going out there with no technique, adequate skills nor the appropriate mindset for 10 hours will only teach you what not to do the next time, and perhaps if you're lucky, you find something that works. Worse if you never learn from your mistakes.

Do both. Join our theory classes and our In field classes where we meet women together in real life situations.

Life is always good. Be a great guy.

Your environment reflects YOU and your success with women.

Busy busy busy. I hate the early morning squeezing, and late evening pushing. I think singapore is getting too over populated. ROFL. People start standing across the "Yellow Line", when the train is passing by at lightning speed. Crazy muthafukas.

Anyway, if you think i'm gona chant and rant on any recent girl experiences...you might wana look elsewhere. lol.

I'm heavily burnt out right now, but i'm pushing myself to blog. Reason being..?

*READ THE TITLE*

For every effort you employ to push yourself to greater heights and to breaking your limits, you grow. Simple yet true.

I'm in fact pushing my mental capacity right now...just like my every morning to work. While people are busy catching their precious "i finally got a seat in the train and now im going to sleep" BEAUTY SLEEP...i'm reading a 500 page book.

I get weird stares and funny looks, i don't know why.

Look, you can easily stand out from the crowd and know you are unique when you see a majority of the population behaving the same way every morning.

"Droopy eyes..walking zombie with no effing sparkle of energy"

Some people say that you can create your environment. You can decide what kind of life you want to lead. True enough. However, please do not mistake this for "The environment mean no shit to me".

It took me sometime to fully understand this concept. and at some point in my life, when i least expects...it went "click". Somehow it seems like we humans are meant to be simple. We humans are meant to adapt. We humans are meant to merge. We humans are meant to be in our comfort zone.

Your environment and you correlate. They both work hand in hand. There is no "one stronger force". There essentially should be balance.

You are the mirror of your environment.

Through personal experience, i realised that it is close to impossible to change this fact. Well, my opinions here..so..yeah. You can control though. The fact that we become complacent. That we adapt, almost too quickly.

Say you have superb social skills, superb social abilities around women. You party all day, you enjoy life to its fullest.

Take a month or two, get into the bandwagon, and join the rat race.

And tell me..how much more of a ladies man are you? How much more of a social butterfly can you then be? Social conditiong is taking place. Social routines are making you a robot.

You can never be "something" forever. If you even see yourself as a POOAA..then good for you. Cos you know what? You can never be one forever. Cos there isn't forever. There is no constant.
The only constant is change. And if you cant accpet this fact..then you will lose out. Lose out big time. Everything is changing. The environment changes. New buildings are built. New gadgets are invented. What can you do? You can only change.

And in fact. this is exactly how your environment will affect you and how you live your life to a certain extent. However, you are able to tap on this issue and maximise the positivity that you want in your life. And that is your choice. And when you make that choice, be it for the good of mankind ..or you...it will affect the environment. And thus...change will take place again.

This whole process can be known as....EVOLUTION.

And if you choose to party all day and night, boozing here and there..enjoying life... then that probably might be what you will do in a small part of your life. And if you inject any more life into it, it might become a large part of your life..and in turn..might be the only thing that you have in your life. And you have literally transform yourself from a "not bad" person to a loser who only plays and plays...and ends up having problems paying the bills.

And if you choose to be a guy who only revolves his life purpose in meeting and dating many girls..then you probably can see yourself ten years down the road......whatever you deem fit.

There is much more to life than constantly dating girls. True enough, love is great. However, take some time to just hang out with friends..just chill and have fun. You don't always need to turn things sexual whenever a lady is around.

So, start thinking about what you want in your life..and go find it!

cheers!